By Lori Lines
There is a misconception that the ego-self sits upon our shoulders, urging us toward a selfish existence that is hedonistic and instantly recognizable as shallow. We don't often equate insatiable ego needs with spirituality. Though, it can be those who speak loudest about being a "spiritual person" that are deeply compelled by the voice of the ego-self.
The zealous New Age pursuit of enlightenment is not always driven by an impending ascension. It can be motivated by the desire to remain current and appear superior to the "unawakened masses." When we ask how to become enlightened and fail to ask ourselves why we should seek enlightenment, we risk going down the perfunctory path of shallow awakening.
Shallow awakening or false enlightenment has several hallmarks. As mentioned, among them is a braggadocios manner of proclaiming one's spirituality. People who do this often have the deep-seated belief that their spiritual nature makes them better than others, viewing themselves as virtuous and others as debased.
Another quality of those who have been led astray by false enlightenment is the tendency to spiritually bypass. They wish to manifest peace and harmony that comes from spiritual awakening, side-stepping the often painful shadow work, dark nights of the soul, the heart, humility and ego death. When the real work is avoided, the words and actions that follow rarely amount to more than an elaborate pantomime of actual enlightenment.
The trend arising is the unappeasable pursuit of spiritual information mass-produced by those who have found or claim to have found enlightenment. Amassing and regurgitating other people's words and experiences without personal experience or perspective.
Seeking guidance from mentors you trust should always be encouraged, but the truly enlightened never intended for you to substitute your personal journey for theirs. Their intention is to inspire, not influence, to guide, not lead. Unlike their seminars and books, enlightenment cannot be bought and sold.
When one follows the "just-add-water-and-stir" brand of spirituality, it is devoid of any soulful nourishment. It's like waking up with the flu, putting on your best clothes and jewels, making yourself up, and expecting to feel better. The behaviors and words of false enlightenment satisfy the ego, bolstering a sense of worthiness and pride but abandons the higher self and the process of self-actualization altogether.
This is in stark contrast to actual awakening, when many are harshly judged, friends and family may walk away, and concepts like self-worth and personhood are very fragile. At the beginning of the path to enlightenment, we have to turn a blind eye to others' opinions. Towards the end, ego death means we no longer give much thought to these opinions at all, turning our intensified awareness to our higher-self.
A fragile sense of self and losing the relationships that no longer serve are just parts of the price we pay for enlightenment. The process of authentic enlightenment can be likened to the education process. Making our way through primary, middle, high school, and university, we are given lessons and assignments, cumulating in proving our mastery to progress to the next level.
The Divine timing of our spiritual growth is much the same, though you could say even more painstaking! We are given lessons and assignments, but there are never easy passes. We must repeat the same lessons over and over again until we get it right. Divine timing dictates when and where the tests will be administered and if we are ready for the next chapter. As hard as it can be to surrender to Divine timing and Divine order, we must accept it as the only "administrative" body accredited to appoint our degree in enlightenment.
What does true enlightenment look like? It can't be chalked up to changes in speech and behavior. This can easily be faked. True enlightenment leads to significant transformation in how we interact with the world through meaningful lifestyle changes, understanding who we truly are, and perception shifts. More importantly, this transformation speaks to the profound changes our spirit is undergoing.
Through all the wounds, cracks, and scars that have been uncovered through your journey, the light of awakening will begin to shine, illuminating your truths, your values, and your intentions. The way you care for your mind, body, and spirit will become a priority, not for the sake of how you are perceived or for the sake of vanity, but as a measure of how you FEEL as you align with and navigate your world - all the while taking responsibility and accepting accountability for your choices and their outcomes. You will live a life that honors not just yourself but all you meet, uncovering a deep sense of peace, regardless of where others are on their life journey.
The greatest gift and perhaps the biggest dichotomy of enlightenment is the freedom that comes from the connection you will feel with all sentient beings, the Divine, and your existence. Liberation and oneness at once? Yes! When we align ourselves with pure love, compassion, empathy, and harmony, we are unencumbered by judgment, invulnerable to the judgment of others, and unburdened by the competitive ego that thrives on comparison.
Enlightenment is the freedom to be exactly who you are intended when removed from the shadows and illuminated by the dawn of awakening.
In love and truth,
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By Lori Lines
"Why does this always happen to me?" "How do I always attract the wrong people?" "Why me?!" Most of us have either heard or have even said something like this at some point in our romantic lives. Our tendency is to blame bad luck or the "losers" we meet when things go south in our relationships.
Just because we do it doesn't make it right! To find the love, devotion, and unity we seek in healthy relationships, we must challenge ourselves to consider our role and the underpinnings of our belief systems, that drive us, in what went wrong. In other words, we need to examine what we did, or the energy we brought to the relationship to begin with, to cause the undesirable effects.
Asking yourself what role you played in the distrust, betrayal, frustration, disconnection, or ultimate breakdown of your relationship is a hard question to ask when it is framed in a way that is self-deprecating and guilt-ridden. It doesn't have to be this way. By asking yourself why you have chosen a sequence of cheaters, ignored red flags, didn't speak up when a boundary was crossed, or keep being drawn to the "work-in-progress" type, you will gain self-knowledge and empowerment, breaking these toxic cycles.
It can be a hard pill to swallow, yet we manifest an undesirable reality when we lack self-awareness. By allowing unserving belief systems and world views framed by trauma and heartache to go unchecked, unhealed, and unchanged, we end up with the same adverse results. Yet, when we understand the causal role we play, we are empowered to choose a different path, assume a different perspective, and choose different actions. By engaging in shadow work, release work, and accepting appropriate accountability, we can release the past, achieve a higher perspective, overcoming our self-imposed limitations and the confines of our comfort zones.
The issue with comfort zones is they are made to fit where we were, not where we are going. Remaining within our comfort zones leaves us doing the same things, with the same people or archetypes, in the same ways, limiting our spiritual growth and personal development. When we enmesh ourselves in situations or connections with a lower vibration than our own, they inevitably pull down our vibration. This drains our energy and creates stagnation. When we find connections and circumstances that match our vibration, we are uplifted, the shared energy is amplified.
It's important to trust that we will find the right connections and not begin desperately seeking them. Desperation is a bullet train to disempowerment. When we convince ourselves we need a partner as a source of love, well-being or affirmation outside of who we are, we give away our power. We ignore red flags, settle for less, and sacrifice pieces of our personhood because we are so distressed over the thought of being alone.
We must remember, we can be whole and happy alone. In fact, we must find inner completion and contentment before we can be part of a healthy relationship. When we cling to another for personal fulfillment, the result is neither will be fulfilled. No one other than you can validate, affirm, or complete your existence, meaning you will be unfulfilled, and so will your partner when faced with a task where success is unattainable.
Accountability is crucial in this instance as well. We must assume responsibility for our personal development, happiness, and sense of completion. This is foundational to self-actualization, empowerment, and well-being, yet there are also secondary benefits. When you are at one and at peace with yourself, you will be more attractive, particularly to like-minded individuals. No more low-vibrational energy drainers! Relationships where two complete individuals who love themselves and accept accountability for their lives unsurprisingly foster more growth, happiness, devotion, and fulfillment. Because these two people are not trying to make gains from a deficit, they are building up from a solid foundation on which to grow.
Too many people look at love as something to acquire, retain, and exchange, like a possession. Love is actually a state of being and a way of relating to each other and the world. As they say, love is a verb. Without action, it is merely a word. It is a series of behaviors, communicating, nurturing, supporting, connecting, trusting…
Of all the things we must do to love, trusting is vital. We've all been hurt. No matter the depth, the manner, or how long it's been since it occurred, these hurts can linger. Our hearts are like bruised or broken limbs. Even after the bruises have healed, we are sometimes still defensive and protective of them. We project judgment on to those who want to be in our lives, finding fault and making them wrong in order to protect ourselves. Memories of the pain linger and as they do so, we project our own wounds onto people, until we look within and completely heal ourselves and take accountability for our own sabotage. Yet to be in love, we must move beyond the fear of being hurt and be willing to stretch out of our comfort zones.
While we may not be able to forget, we must be willing to trust. As we embrace our vulnerability, the ego that rejects accountability, refuses change, and finds refuge in casting blame, is silenced. Vulnerability softens your heart, allowing love to flow inward and outward, a life-giving wellspring. Of course, there are risks in opening your heart to the potentiality of hurt and pain, but the reward of learning to first trust yourself is well worth the inner work!
In love and truth,
PS. Through hypnosis, we can explore and help with relationship issues including but not limited to:
Bringing love into your life
Fear of Abandonment
Co-dependency to Independence
Ending A Relationship
Forgetting or letting go of an Ex-Love
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By Lori Lines
We all know that person who fails to take responsibility for anything that goes awry in their life. They’ll lament and shovel heaps of blame on others and when that does not work, they will have a laundry list of excuses to soften the blow.
Bad things can happen to good people. Not everything that goes awry is due to someone’s fault, directly. Yet, people who play the victim have an M.O. They weigh themselves down so heavily with the mantle of victimhood that they render themselves powerless through their own negative self-talk and self-sabotage. To the awakening person, it’s common to see this behavior in others, which begs the question, “how am I at cause for the effects in my own life?” “What role, big or small, have I played in my own life situations and outcomes?”
Those of us who have or still play the role of the hapless victim, unable to assume responsibility for the bad and ultimately the good that takes place in our lives, often end up experiencing a life that is akin to being tossed in the waters of a tumultuous sea. Anger, depression, frustration, anxiety, compromise the matrix of the 3rd-dimensional experience and 5th-dimensional projection.
While some portray themselves as victims to manipulate and control others, most people do not intentionally burden themselves with the archetype. Victims are often born of trauma and betrayal. It is then they are taught that the world is a dangerous place, with dangerous people. After repeatedly experiencing traumatizing or hurtful situations, they begin to believe that bad things are bound to happen and keep happening, the result being a fractured individual. At its core, victimhood is a sense of disempowerment that goes unaddressed and unhealed, affecting the “victim’s” personality, worldview, and way of life.
The state of perpetual victimhood is associated with the theory of learned helplessness. This is when an animal or individual is forced to face painful, hurtful, or otherwise undesirable stimuli or experiences and becomes incapable of escaping or avoiding the same situations in the future due to a learned or adopted belief their circumstance is inescapable and beyond their control. Even when solutions and opportunities become available, they are unable or unwilling to adapt to the changing events, sometimes due to fear of losing a part of their identity.
Pause for a moment and ask yourself what things would look like if all of society, or at least a majority, struggled with learned helplessness. We would be in a continual state of decline, allowing ourselves, our homes, our jobs, our communities, our nations to fall into a state of disrepair because no one can be bothered to strive for better. We would cease to pursue more love, unity, advancement, growth. Vaguely familiar?
There is light at the end of the tunnel for those who struggle with learned helplessness and perpetual victimhood! People with a genuinely optimistic worldview are less vulnerable to falling into the rut of perpetual victimhood. Meaning, assuming the mantle of victimhood is often a choice, and instead, we must choose to look at life with hope and faith, as opposed to fear and distrust.
What most awakening souls understand is that the first step is to reposition ourselves as creators of our own lives and experiences. For better or worse, we must take accountability for the cause of the effects we encounter. When we confront circumstances beyond our control, for instance, being sideswiped by an errant driver or laid off due to company cutbacks, we must still view ourselves as possessing the wisdom, strength, and tenacity to be the cure of a changing, more positive effect.
As creators of our lives, we may fear picking up the brush and palette out of dread that our creation will fall short of our expectations or the expectations of others. When we are fully responsible for the life we create, we fear a mistake or stumble could make us look foolish or lesser-than. This is the ego talking. Our higher-self knows there is no shame in failure. There are lessons and wisdom, as long as we are humble, willing to admit our role, and willing to learn. When we are receptive to the inherent wisdom in defeat, we no longer need to fear responsibility. Instead of thinking about the misstep, we begin to focus on the next opportunity to show what we have learned.
Where we lose a person, an opportunity, a material asset, or a perspective that upheld our beliefs that taint our worldview, we must learn to find peace with the loss. By viewing these losses with a healthier attitude of gratitude for having even had them to begin with or for an opportunity to embrace new things, we are less likely to sink into a sea of despair and view the world as unjust and malevolent. When suitable, accepting responsibility for our defeats empowers us to generate new mental, physical, and spiritual abundance.
Spiritual growth and abundance are the greatest reasons to cast off the mantle of victimhood and instead pick up the painter’s brush, the sculptors chisel, or the writer’s pen. By accepting your role as the creator and source of the outcomes you experience, you can learn how to prune and shape who you are, fostering enormous growth.
Accountability is the first step of self-actualization and crucial to understanding the role we play in the universal balance of cause and effect. This understanding is key to shifting the matrix and ascending to the 5th dimension. A cause and effect most are sure to stand behind.
In love and truth,
P.S. If you have recently awakened to a pattern in your life and would like help to determine your cause for its effects, I'd love to process it out with you. Acknowledging our individual roles in life situations is 90% of the healing process. Appointments are now being scheduled in April! To book your appointment with me, click on the button below:
By Lori Lines
"Dark Night of the Soul" sounds ominous, doesn't it? In many ways, it is, yet, like your first real heartbreak or significant failure, many believe it is a standard part of spiritual growth and development - a major growing pain as seekers on the road to higher consciousness will pass through this rite of passage, an initiation of sorts, before the seeker is admitted into a regular connection with higher consciousness.
The Dark Night of the Soul is described by some as similar to mild depression or general sense of malaise. You feel lost, stuck in a rut, wistful, and sleeping and eating are disrupted. Others describe it as a soul-crushing deeply depressed state, at times so profound people may believe they are truly dying. Having gone through this journey myself, it felt deeper than a depression and most certainly, "soul-crushing." To me, it felt as if my light had been extinguished and all hope was lost.
Interestingly, we can undergo similar times of storms and stress socially. During these times, life can feel bleak, the inequity and hate paints a dystopian society, and the current social structures lose their meaning. The sense of meaninglessness is a feature of the dark night. On the communal or personal level, nothing seems to make much sense, including life itself.
Many things can trigger a Dark Night, a loss, a death, a disaster, an injustice, an ego-assault, and an ego-death. Socially or individually, it can come when we can no longer explain maladaptive systems and structures, dysfunctional perceptions and thought patterns, and low vibrational automatic behaviors. By profoundly examining the frameworks of life, those that govern society, and those that shape our values become so askew that they collapse.
On a personal level, this collapse may cause you to lose touch with who you are. This is called ego-death. It is symptomatic of the Dark Night. As your world loses meaning, so does your place in it. You can't fit in as you had before. You know on some level the reality of higher consciousness and yearn to be more deeply in communion with this part of yourself, yet you somehow can't fit in or feel at home in the company of those who you usually relate to, let alone yourself. The ego thrives on comparison and judgment, when existing measures are no longer sustainable, the ego's voice dies away.
This can lead to feeling lost. During the Dark Night, the veil is lifted, and you begin to see what an illusion your old reality was. It is here we find ourselves in a state of suspended animation with no 'new' reality to cling to. At this stage, people often feel as though they live in a void of emptiness in which nothing is real. Days, weeks, months and years can drone on and the part that's so difficult to accept is there's no finite time we can cling as to the duration of this experience.
Your motivation may plummet. Work, education, success, esteem, and popularity no longer drives you. Some people experience the need to rid themselves of material possessions, relationships, and pursuits that no longer fulfill them. Initially, this cleansing may seem like just what you need. In the end, it can trigger feelings of worthlessness. Your ego may start to press you, "who are you without your things or your people?"
At some point during your Dark Night, memories and old traumas may rise to the surface. From your current realm of emptiness, these flashbacks can elicit an intense emotional reaction. In fact, everything you encounter may garner a more visceral response. This results from the ego falling back, and the subconscious (higher self) taking the helm, reactivating parts of yourself that have been long denied and repressed.
As your subconscious awareness rises, you may feel like you are thinking with two brains. The subconscious mind sitting back with pen and paper jotting down notes as the conscious mind darts back and forth from one fearful thought to the next. When you are aware of your thoughts, this state of higher consciousness can be unsettling, to say the least. At worst, some people believe they are losing touch with their sanity. But, in reality, one going through this process is gaining their sanity.
Another symptom of the subconscious taking the lead is the ego will wave a distress signal. "I'm dying! SOS!" Many who walk their path during the Dark Night of the Soul start to become profoundly aware of their mortality. This awareness can be so stark, some even believe it is they, themselves, who are dying, not the ego.
The Dark Night can be a lonely time of isolation regardless of who may be around you. During this phase you must confront the fears and insecurities that emerge from the shadows. At times people's sleep is dysregulated, causing one to sleep too much or not enough. The same can happen with food and physical activity.
Similarly, when we experience a Dark Night in the social context, we can be afraid to challenge old detrimental perspectives and social mores. Our daily foundations become dysregulated, and so can the unity we extend to all members of humanity.
So, why must we endure it, for some more than once, this long, dark, difficult night of suffering? Because, as with most nights, when it is complete, we awaken. Awaken into a higher state of consciousness, if we will just allow ourselves to do so. In this transformed state of consciousness, we are set free to ascend to merge with our higher self.
It is important to point out that not everyone goes through the above mentioned intensity of the Dark Night of the Soul. But, if you are, understand that this is YOUR way. And, once on the other side of it, it is a rite of passage that should be honored, as you will be completely transformed.
This experience of being reborn is one of greater unity, love, peace and understanding of one's self and others on a very intimate level. Yes, it is a very dark night, but the sunrise is breathtaking.
Stay tuned for Part 2. The Night is What Makes the Dawn So Bright.
In love and truth,
PS: If you feel you are going through a Dark Night of the Soul and want support from someone who has authentically gone through it and now can offer real compassion and insights into your process, I am offering a 6, one hour session package for $600 (a savings of $300). Just contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more details. Find out more about my services at www.higherselfaccess.com.
By Lori Lines
What an organ the brain is! All its wrinkles and folds, nuances and enigmas, powers and abilities, working in perfect alignment and synergy…until it doesn't! The brain can be separated into different lobes, functions, and systems. The primary distinction is that of the right and left brain. Sometimes referred to as brains, these two hemispheres are meant to work together, making up for what the other lacks. The left brain is responsible for logic, analytical thought, scientific and mathematical reasoning, and processing what we have been taught to believe is factual evidence.
The right brain processes holistic perceptions, creativity, imagination, art, music, and insightful reasoning. When the two hemispheres are balanced, together they give us a grounded perspective in which we can function in our day to day lives yet aspire, envision, and manifest a more fulfilling, high vibrational future.
Unfortunately, some people are out of balance, listening solely to their left brain. This can be referred to as literalism. Defined as "adherence to a meaning in an exact sense, or an exact representation or portrayal without idealization or inference." In simple terms, understanding and judging everything at "evidence or face value,"…but is it really evidential face value?
From an early age, based on our culture, society, and family values, we are all taught what to attend to, who to trust, how to perceive information, what is "fundamentally" true, and what is "fundamentally false." This is called social conditioning. Social conditioning is how we have been taught to function and think, somewhat like a default state for an electronic device.
When we rely solely on the left brain, or literalist perceptions, we limit ourselves, our consciousness, and our opportunities. We give our power away to social, religious, political constructs and people, we've idealized and over identified with, to determine what we see and how we see it. In this way, literalism is taking everything at face value or basing our perceptions on factual evidence. Instead, it conforms to what we have been socialized to believe is accurate, proven, and apparent.
Spoiler Alert: Knowledge, grounded in literalism, always comes to a stop. There's nowhere else to go to expand on ideas to grow! Repressing our natural tendency to question, to think beyond what appears to be physically present, and to grow as the spiritual beings that we are, stifles our true expression.
In my opinion, this has been the crux of a trickle down effect and why our generation suffers from systemic depression and that people, collectively, are suffering the Dark Night of the Soul.
All that we perceive and experience is transient, except for the experiences that change our soul. The soul or spirit is the entity that exists and bridges us from one life to the next. It never dies. We explore the universal consciousness through our soul, commune with the higher consciousness, and reach the higher dimensions. Locked within the soul is a template of our life path, all that came before and will come after. Alignment with this map or template is how we self-actualize, awaken, and achieve enlightenment through connection to the universe and Spiritual consciousness.
When we rely too heavily on the left brain's literalism, we tie ourselves too tightly to the physical realm's perceptions, experiences, and fleeting events. We lose touch with our higher selves, the universal unconscious, and the realm of the soul. Quickly we can become locked into the functioning of the day to day, observing the rules and regulations we have been conditioned to. A divide grows between who we are and who we are meant to be. We are not meant to follow, but to do the soul's work, honoring the template we come to this world with and the higher purpose we are destined to achieve.
As the division between who we are portraying and who we are meant to be, grows, life becomes challenging. We can lose our way, lose our sense of purpose, and life can lose all meaning. When we lose our "why," by habitually conforming to what we think we KNOW, we also lose our how and when.
There has never been a time where it is crucial for individuals to begin their self-actualizing, integrative process by whatever means is necessary than now.
Trusting the left brain too much can lead to not trusting ourselves at all! Our intuition and inner knowing repeatedly takes a backseat to what we have been conditioned to believe is right, even if it goes against what we want or what we feel. Like any other relationship, when we lose our own trust, it is difficult to regain it.
This state of feeling conflicted towards the answers "out there" and having the answers within withheld can render us powerless. This powerlessness can lead to depression, anxiety, and general apathy towards the very life we are living. If you have experienced this or are experiencing it, you understand how difficult a cycle it can be to break. Yet, nothing can change within your spirit or in your outer world until you do the spiritual work it takes to amplify and hear your inner truth again.
By bypassing social conditioning and the left brain's reasoning, the Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique can access the part of yourself that can hear and feel your inner knowing again. QHHT can help you reconnect with answers that you have lost along the way regarding your everyday life and your spiritual calling. QHHT accesses the higher self and the collective unconscious through your spirit, your everlasting nature, and eternal awareness, rendering the confines of social conditioning and literalism powerless. In turn, returning your mental, spiritual and emotional balance and restoring your power!
I have spoken to many of you who are afraid of the QHHT process, those of you who know, on a deeper level, that you've clung to your literalism for far too long and believe you would not be successful at this practice. My answer to this is my Mindfulness Meditation and Awareness Series of coaching sessions that can help prepare you for a QHHT session. Practicing mindfulness to strengthen awareness naturally opens up the mind to balance and trust in your inner knowing rather than just accepting evidential proof, "out there" that may or may not be true.
When you can once again perceive the bigger picture, you will start to realize how "small" your physical existence truly is. Through connection to your higher self and your countless lifetimes, you can once again appreciate how infinite your options and opportunities are. You can begin to realize yourself and your exponential gifts and visualize unlimited new ways of living, and it takes trusting yourself to do so.
In love and truth,
By Lori Lines
The mind can be construed as a double-edged sword. It is capable of providing us great benefit as well as great injury. Naturally, we want to cultivate our inner processes in such a way that we maximize or minds' capacity for doing good and to minimize its tendencies for causing pain and suffering.
It is important, in this juncture in our evolution, to nurture our minds in a way that will bring us greater joy. The mind tends to operate in a rather haphazard way, bounding from thought to thought with little or no apparent prompting of direction. Our minds seem to have a mind of their own. It might appear that our minds are thoroughly out of our control as if we have no choice of the kinds of things that drift across our minds.
Although thoughts seem to come out of the blue, they are, in fact, conditioned
by previous patterns of thought. The thoughts that our mind produces now have been shaped by its history of thinking. This history can connect all the way back to previous lives we have lived as well as our current life history of thinking.
Neuro-scientific research has shown that routine patterns of thought make incremental but substantial changes in the way the brain is structured and the way the mind functions. These alterations make the brain more effective at doing what it is asked to do. If we habitually think in certain ways, then our minds become more adept at these patterns of thought. Patterns of thought becomes belief. Beliefs manifest patterns of behavior and circumstances that can benefit us or injure us.
Thus, as the concept of conditioning suggests, positive or wholesome thoughts create a propensity for more positive or wholesome thoughts. Fortunately, we can use this dynamic principle to our advantage. While we may not be in conscious control of each and every thought, a meditation practice can show us that we can choose which thoughts to entertain and to develop and which to observe and release. In this manner, we can influence the kinds of thoughts we are more likely to produce in the future.
Knowing this, we can use our power to select and foster or relinquish thoughts that can help us to cultivate a skillful and clear mind that serves us well.
I invite you to become aware and observe your thoughts as they arise, but also identify the kinds of thoughts you are having. Once identified, we can make conscious choices about how we will handle them.
What can occur in a QHHT session or in a Mindfulness Coaching session is when one begins to wake up to the types of thoughts they habituate, one comes to an understanding of how these habitual thoughts have manifested problematic patterns in one's life. And, with this self-knowledge, one can begin to shift and change the trajectory of ones life altogether.
In love and truth,
By Lori Lines
Projection is the subconscious act of transferring your own unwanted traits, emotions, and behaviors on to someone else. Projective identification, sometimes referred to as projection as well, is the subconscious act of taking feelings from one interpersonal, connection, situation, or relationship and place it on to an unrelated one. Finally, externalization is when we blame others for our circumstances and problems, falsely assuming a victim mentality.
It can all seem a little confusing to someone who isn't familiar with these terms, so here are a few examples. An example of projection is feeling bad about not giving your all at work. Subconsciously you feel guilty that you've been disinterested and unfocused at work. Instead of assuming responsibility for not giving your all, you lash out at a blameless co-worker for being lazy and inconsiderate for not doing their fair share. You took your negative feelings and placed them on your co-worker.
An example of projective identification is having left a relationship where you were undervalued and felt unheard, and you go to a skilled therapist and counselor. You get frustrated with the therapist because they never hear you and often treat you with a lack of respect, unconsciously painting them with the same brush as your ex.
An example of externalization would be poor money management and thoughtless spending having you in a financial crunch. Instead of assuming responsibility for your carelessness, you blame your innocent partner for always suggesting expensive activities.
Now that you know what these terms are, you may ask why we do them. They are coping mechanisms to help us deal with uncomfortable and unwelcome emotional and mental experiences. The above are examples of maladaptive coping. There are different reasons why we engage in these particular maladaptive coping techniques. They can be a means to avoid shame and damage to the ego-self. Some people are trying to prevent fearful or unpredictable outcomes. For others, it is merely a consequence of trying to block these unwanted thoughts, feelings, or behaviors out of their mind. By deciding not to think about them, our quirky brains focus on them even more. We have all engaged in this type of coping at some point in our lives, they are unconscious mechanisms after all, but a chronic or contentious tendency towards projection and blame can be very damaging to others, our relationships, and our spiritual path.
As I'm sure you can imagine, when someone is projected upon or blamed when they are not guilty of the perceived offense, it can damage their self-esteem and self-worth, if they choose to take it on. Over time, when someone is met with a constant barrage of projection, it can build a toxic shame within them. This toxicity can spill over into all areas of life. This is why it is essential to consider and shape our interactions, our reactions with empathy and compassion.
The truth is, the avoidance of negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors thwart our own healing and spiritual growth. We cannot walk in the light if we don't first acknowledge and accept the dark or shadow components of our past and who we are. If we project that which is undesirable in us onto others, we never get the chance to open it to the light and to correct ourselves. By projecting and blaming, we damage our sense of empowerment, our strength, and our self-worth. We assume the role of victim and, by doing so, we cease striving to surmount our challenges and our traumas so that we can move forward in our lives in a healthy way.
Finally, the path to enlightenment is one of love, love of the self and love of others. When we project and blame, it is a victimization and a rejection of who we really are, there is no room for self-love in this chronic pattern of denying our truth. Also, as mentioned, by casting unwarranted guilt on others, we can do damage to their spirit, which wrongfully impacts their path and their ability to fulfill their purpose, love cannot be sustained in this circumstance, either.
Psychological projection, projective identity, and blame all stem from judgments. Judgements of ourselves that are manifested as judgments projected onto others. The first step in breaking the toxic pattern of maladaptive projective coping is to release judgment. The ego-self is sustained by judgments, when you can observe your thoughts, your feelings, and your behaviors with awareness, and without judgment, you are on the path to negative ego-death and enlightenment.
It is exciting to see a trend in my QHHT practice that many of my clients are beginning to recognize, and to take responsibility for, their own role when they are projecting their own wounds into situations and relationships. As the article states, we all do this from time-to-time, but when it becomes a habit of deflecting the underlying issues, projection can take a very dysfunctional turn.
This trend is showing me that the collective is allowing these underlying wounds to float up to the surface so that we can finally have the opportunity to deal with these shadow parts of ourselves in order to finally make the changes needed and put them to rest.
In love and truth,
Author Lori Lines
Disclaimer: Lori is a high-level channel. The information contained on this site is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis or treatment by a licensed physician. You should seek prompt medical care for any health issues and consult your doctor before using alternative medicine or making a change to your regimen.