Active Listening: A Lost Art?

By Lori Lines

Over the last year, I have noticed something. I'm not really sure what to call it.  It's not a trend, for that implies it's not been there before. Let's suffice it to say I woke up to it recently.  

I have a few friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.  More of which I've been in contact lately because of the many spiritual and physical changes that have been manifesting in my life.  With that said, when normally speaking to friends, colleagues, and acquaintances about the issues of the day, I noticed some (not all!)  speaking at me instead of listening and speaking to me.  I realized I would throw out a sentence or two, barely able to complete the thought, when it would trigger one to run with it, assuming all kinds of stories and attaching their own filtered meanings and judgments to what I had to say. 

This has, in the past, left me feeling abandoned, holding the bag, wondering, "what just happened?"

I would then stop, wait for them to finish as their rhetoric continued on and on and on.  As I was allowing them the floor, and searching for the opportunity to get my word in edgewise, I could feel my energy draining from my whole being as their dialogue was morphing into their own problems, their own internal chaos spewing, their own perceptions projected onto the issues (now forgotten) I brought up that exist in my own life.  To an empath, the absorption of all this energy can be heavy and transmuting it can be cumbersome to say the least.

In my world, there is truth in the quote by Stephen R. Covey, "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” 

Which begs the question, "where have I done this to others?" Yes, I have done this! And, I can remember specific times I've done so.  I have awakened, thank you very much, Universe!

As I continue to practice mindfulness (the art of staying present) these types of issues come to the surface. I have noticed so much that has not been seen or felt before as truth begins to seep out from all over the place. One thing is for sure, this mindfulness thing really works as I realize there's less need to complain or to commiserate with others when things are not quite going the way I might like them to go.

I have found, when I settle into my deepening connection to the still and quiet places within and listen, it knows and speaks the truth.  And, the more I listen, a gentle calm cradles me. I am now less inclined to participate in the soul-stealing idle drama of chatter (that has diverted me from so much) as the practice of presence has allowed me to maintain my connection as an extension to my higher-self.  I love watching meaningful moments unfold with my clients rather than trying to have a ready-made answer for them. The best anyone can do is to share their wisdom without attachment to whether the other understands or takes the lesson. When one is ready.

This, my friends, is where the good stuff is. This is the energy I conserve for my clients who are serious about their own awakening times. 

​And as I write that, I'm thinking, perhaps, things are progressing just the way they are intended.

Wishing you love, blessings, and peace.

Lori Lines

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