 By Lori Lines
Depression, anxiety, heart disease, muscle pain, are all scientifically proven symptoms of lack of forgiveness. A lack of forgiveness significantly hinders spiritual growth and the ability to enjoy life. Unforgiving people walk around numb and emotionally disconnected, with a pervasive sense of self-loathing making it impossible to be alone and they possess a profound distrust of others, making it just as challenging to be with others. There are a few more telltale signs that someone is struggling with a lack of forgiveness. First, they are often so hyper-focused on the transgression that they cannot be fully present. This tendency to live in the past leads to a lack of direction or purpose, contributing to mental, emotional, and spiritual inertia. The lack of progression often perpetuates a cycle of depression and anxiety that hinders the building of meaningful, enriching relationships. When these people find themselves in new relationships or circumstances, their view is often obscured by fear, bitterness, and distrust. This is because they have so profoundly assumed a state of victimhood that they are in a constant state of disempowerment. Constantly reliving the hurt mentally or unknowingly attracting a series of similar circumstances. What forgiveness Isn’t Before we address what forgiveness is, we must first discuss what it is not. It is best to forgive because it is healthier and more loving than harboring resentment, which misaligns us with the Divine. Forgiveness shouldn’t be done to foster reconciliation or manipulate someone into changing. Because although forgiveness can lead to reconciliation, it isn’t guaranteed. In fact, it is possible to forgive someone without ever speaking to them about it! And even if forgiveness can be the chance needed to change one’s behaviors and find redemption, some may take advantage of kindness becoming more emboldened to offend, believing they will inevitably be forgiven. Most importantly, despite forgiveness being essential to spiritual growth, it does little to serve self-actualization if it is not preceded with a healthy dose of accountability. Forgiveness does not excuse or erase the harm done. It simply means you are choosing to find peace with it. The Choice of Forgiveness Forgiveness doesn’t just happen. It is a powerful intention that liberates you from the dominion of the person or circumstance that pained you. Deciding to forgive means although the heartache may yet persist, your ties to the events that precipitated it will not. Forgiveness, no matter the circumstance, is an act of self-love and self-care. When it comes to forgiving others, you don’t do it because they deserve it. You do it because you do! You deserve to live a life free of resentment, vengeful thoughts, victimhood, and bitterness. Ultimately, choosing forgiveness means choosing wholeness, happiness, and healing. Healing Benefits of Forgiveness Physically, forgiving can lower blood pressure, strengthen the immune system, and improve heart health. It has also been found to contribute to mental health by increasing self-esteem, lessening symptoms of depression, and decreasing stress and anxiety. Spiritually, it cuts the karmic cords that hold one back from pursuing our greatest good and honoring our higher purpose. In a state of unforgiveness, one cannot align with our most authentic self and elevated consciousness. Resentment forms an anchor that keeps us tethered to base motivations, perceptions, and existence, holding us back from the heights of ascension. If you are struggling with forgiveness, it is time to break the chains to achieve true awakening! How to Forgive The first step to forgiveness is acknowledging the healing nature of forgiveness and recognizing that letting go sets you free. From that realization, you can seek acceptance. Understand, what is done is done, and no fretting over it can change past events. Accept that the only time to heal is now, not rewriting the past or getting redemption in the future. From a perspective of acceptance, you will have the perfect vantage point to see what wisdom can be gained from your pain. In life, there are no real mistakes or failures. When you come from a place not of ego but spirit, you can find illumination along your spiritual path even in your darkest moments. Empathy is a very effective way to find forgiveness. Ask yourself why that person acted in such a way, take yourself back to times when you received or needed forgiveness, or put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself, given their life experience, what you would do in their situation. Once again, it isn’t about making excuses. These reflections are meant to help you see someone’s humanity, the imperfect humanity we all share. Meditation and mindfulness are great ways to heal unforgiveness. One powerfully transformative yet simple meditation, derived from the Hawaiian practice Ho’oponopono, involves envisioning yourself or the person who hurt you, repeating and embodying the emotions of these words, “I am sorry, please forgive me, I thank you, I love you.” Through these affirmations, you can reconnect with your higher self and realign with the unconditional love of the universe. Unconditional love means infinite love. It is based not on merit but also on the understanding that as a spiritual being, you are not just loving, you are love itself! This spirit of undying, unending love unearths inherent wisdom regarding what serves your highest good and the highest good of others. You will soon discover the act of forgiveness does precisely that. In love and truth, Lori Lines |