By Lori Lines

Despite what we thought after our first childhood or teenage experience with unrequited love, rejection won’t kill you! Yes, the blend of shame, self-loathing, loss, and alienation can make rejection extremely painful, but the only thing that may die as a result is the ego’s comparative compulsions. We’ve all been rejected in our lives, and we have lived to tell the harrowing tale- but does rejection always have to be so painful, profound, or personal?

The Truth is a Double-Edged Sword
You see, rejection is a double-edged sword. It is manifested interpersonally (between two people) but is often an intrapersonal (within oneself) expression and experience.  This double-edged sword is usually wielded by those who are triggered by ego comparison, but they are blindly swinging with no personal vendetta.
 
For example, the “mean girl” who gets laughed at for her reading skills and, in turn, won’t let the student with straight A’s sit with the group at lunch.  Or the colleague who is used to being the boss’s “go-to-guy” and starts belittling the new employee who has also garnered the boss’s favor. In these cases, the people whose egos are threatened don’t have interpersonal issues with those they reject; they are indiscriminately lashing out at the discomforting ego comparison.

How is rejection a double-edged sword? When we are on the receiving end of its blade, it can cut to the core of an ego wound, and when we are brave enough to examine this wound, we can genuinely heal, gaining self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-worth. For example, the student who, at their parent’s urging, applies and is rejected by all the schools they reached out to discovers their true passion is culinary arts. Or the man seeking love who is in a depressing cycle of romantic rejection and finally realizes he is not ready for love until he heals his codependent tendencies.

Power is the Ability to Achieve Purpose
The truth is that rejection isn’t all bad; it can also be rather beautiful, purposeful, and powerful when you think about it. Sometimes rejection is a Divine gift of protection or postponement for something better. For example, the woman who desperately wants the man she is casually dating to commit. But Spirit has other plans, and instead, he rejects her. She is heartbroken over the abandonment. What she doesn’t realize is that he is a narcissist who would have emotionally abused her, but Spirit wouldn’t allow it; this woman’s destiny is to meet her soulmate six months later…

Rejection may also be a Divine intervention to steer us towards our greatest good and highest purpose- the ultimate path of ascension. Imagine a new graduate getting rejected for all the teaching jobs in his area. So, he journeys abroad and takes a teaching job in China. He learns about Traditional Chinese Medicine, Reiki, and QI Jong in his spare time and discovers his purpose as a holistic energy healer. Sometimes the slammed door of rejection is a necessary redirection!

Just as we must learn to accept our own rejection, we must be willing to reject others when circumstances call for it. Many people struggle with dispensing rejection because of their experience and emotions towards receiving it. When we view being rejected as personal, it can trigger thoughts and feelings of unworthiness, shame, abandonment, loneliness, inferiority, and ridicule. This makes it difficult for someone, with any modicum of compassion, to dole this pain out to anyone else- understandably!

However, when we understand that rejection is intrapersonal and rarely interpersonal, malicious, or targeted, we can use rejection as a healing tool, enabling us to protect ourselves and our boundaries. What’s more, when we are comfortable rejecting who and what is not meant for us, doesn’t, or no longer serve our purpose, we are better able to accept and move on after being rebuffed, allowing us to process, learn, and progress quicker and with greater ease. 

Rejection is Divine Redirection
In all these ways, rejection can be a powerful and painless tool for 
Divine Guidance
Divine Protection
Ending Ego Comparisons
Finding Purpose
Self-Discovery
Self-Worth
Setting Boundaries
Shadow Work
Trauma Recovery

Depending on your point of view, rejection can become a key to unlocking a better you, a better path, and a better future.  What changes it from a weapon into a key? Quite simply, how you perceive it. How you feel about rejection plays an influential role regarding how much you can benefit from it, whether on the giving or receiving end. 

A willingness to see rejection for what it truly is, be it a lesson, opportunity, Divine protection, or emotional intervention, can create opportunities for growth, empowerment, evolution, and abundance.
 
Often, when rejection closes a door, it is because it no longer leads anywhere; honor rejection as a doorway to the path of enlightenment and ascension! 

In love and truth,
Lori Lines
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By Lori Lines

The Industry of Inferiority
Weakness is a multi-billion-dollar business! Whether we are trying to fix our bodies, strengthen our minds, heal our hearts, or uplift our spirits, there is a program, coach, supplement, or book that is “guaranteed” to work. 
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Let’s face it; the capitalistic beast is well-fed by our insecurity, inferiority, and inadequacy. It isn’t always as blatant as a lose-20-pounds-in-10-days diet fix; Many industries, such as fashion, fitness, home improvement, or business networking, benefit from our socially conditioned fear that we are inherently flawed and incapable.

Dig a little deeper, and you will soon realize how the inferiority industry doesn’t only fuel capital gain; it strengthens the social façades that uphold the matrix, keeping us locked in our left brain and dulling the senses of the right. If we remain focused on fixing our weaknesses, we are distracted from our strengths and deviate from our destinies.

The Divine Destiny
While some factions would have us believe otherwise for their gain, we are born from the perfect, unconditional love of the Divine. As a result, we are Divine beings with incredible power, potential, and purpose. We have the spiritual authority to consciously create and manifest whatever life and personhood we choose. Yet when we are under the impression that “fixing” ourselves contributes to our growth, we impair our personal development and spiritual growth. 
When we view ourselves as broken or flawed, we lower our vibration, detract from our strengths, and give power to the perception of weakness. Unfortunately, people do it all the time,

• The woman who believes not having children is a personal failure and fixates on what she could be missing instead of exploring her gifts as a lightworker and how she could share love, nurturing, and healing more broadly.

 

• The student who is so frustrated with their struggles in language classes that they drop out of school, overlooking how much potential they have in science and eventually medicine.

 

• The insecure dad who beats up on himself because he is not adept at sports and pulls away from his children, denying himself and them the opportunity to share his profound capacity for compassion and fatherly wisdom. 

When we focus on what we are not, we fail to become what we are meant to be. Instead of pouring our effort and intention into our potential, we remain stagnant and stuck, eternally grieving who we were never intended to become! Tirelessly working towards our higher purpose will never be as draining as sitting back, wishing, and waiting for things to be different.

Acceptance and Allowing
We must celebrate our strengths, breathing life and power into them, channeling our life force from the bottomless pit of the impossible into the infinite wellspring of potential and possibility. Many have been conditioned to think that speaking about their gifts or sharing their strengths makes them boastful braggarts. However, this is the conditioning of a society that benefits from our insecurity!
 
Thinking about, exhibiting, and discussing your strengths will not only lift your spirits and raise your vibration but will also empower and inspire others and build healing connections with them and Spirit. What’s more, discussing your gifts with like-minded, empowered people can foster meaningful growth and development through the expansive exchange of ideas and the sharing of perspectives. Openly sharing our gifts can positively impact ourselves and others in so many ways,

• The dedicated doctor who speaks to an experienced herbalist and learns ways he can better help his patients through natural medicine.
• The devoted teacher who discusses her passion with a friend and is reminded of how meaningful her impact is.
• Parents who openly discuss how they overcame child-rearing issues and inspire other families that they can find growth too.

Ultimately, celebrating our gifts and supporting those who do the same propels us all forward in our spiritual growth toward the divine current of ascension. Sharing truly is caring!

True Power Over Weakness
Made from the limitless potential and all-seeing vision of Source Creator, is it really conceivable that you are inherently flawed or weak? The argument for innate weakness and imperfection are nullified by unconditional love, infinite ability, and endless possibility of the Divine. The concept of inferiority and inability is born of ego comparison and normalized and supported by our social conditioning.
 
By using other people’s lives and aptitudes as our benchmark for strength, success, and fulfillment, we continue to perpetuate the belief that we are lacking; We can never fill another person’s shoes, fulfill their destiny, or amount to their growth trajectory. 

True power over weakness means challenging the concept of weakness altogether. Rather than focusing on your differences as weaknesses, you can find genuine empowerment by reframing them as opportunities to highlight your strengths, develop more personal tools, and gain new perspectives.
 
Hidden Potential, Higher Purpose
Ultimately “weaknesses” are thinly disguised individual differences. The differences that make you unique and, thereby, essential to manifesting your destiny and that of the universal collective. Thinking of each member of the collective as a puzzle piece, yourself included, exemplifies how our fundamental differences and natural-born strengths complete the Divine vision for individual and universal growth, enlightenment, and ascension.

“If you are always trying to be normal, you’ll never know how amazing you can be”
 – Maya Angelou.

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

The Power of Words
Think back to a time when someone gave you heartfelt praise, “great job,” “impressive,” or “way to go”! Were you filled with pride, a sense of appreciation, or the satisfaction of accomplishment? Alternatively, can you remember when someone diminished your efforts or harshly criticized you? “I’m disappointed in you?” “Is that the best you could’ve done?” What emotions did that stir within you? How did it make you feel?

Words can hurt, or they can heal. Some wield words as weapons striking out to cause injury. Others carelessly toss words around, unconsciously letting them fall where they may. And there are those sacred moments when we use our words like a soothing balm to comfort the pain of others. Words have power. Yet like a sword, they cut both ways.

“Main Character Energy”
A new term for an old mindset, main character energy, can refer to someone who sees themselves as the main character across circumstances, with others playing supporting roles. This type of worldview is dangerous because things can become deeply personal! A neighbor not saying hello, leads to a whirlwind of theories about how we have offended them. A warm moment between coworkers becomes fodder for a passionate attraction they supposedly feel for us. And an offhanded remark or inconsiderate putdown becomes a profound affront to us, shaking the foundation of our self-esteem.

The reason for someone’s words may be a poor night’s sleep, the fact that you remind them of a selfish ex or demanding parent, or they may not even have intended it the way you perceived it. They may have a blunt way of communicating, or something may have been lost in translation due to text or email. It often has very little to do with us when someone says something offensive… or does it?

Seeing Things as We Are
Anaïs Nin once said, “we don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.” And that is why despite the words of others often having very little to do with us, our perception and response ultimately have everything to do with us. Therefore, it is essential to recognize when we feel offended so that we can identify our triggers, mitigate our defensiveness, and use the moment to awaken instead of agonize. 

We might feel shameful, sorrowful, or fearful when we are offended. Some people become indignant, full of rage, or vengeful. These are all defense mechanisms the ego-self employs to protect itself from being wounded or triggered. And fundamentally, defense mechanisms are a means of rejecting and denying something that may or may not be true but, nevertheless, disrupts our sense of self and worth. So, be mindful when you feel yourself shutting down or lashing out!

Your Trigger, Your Responsibility
Once we can recognize when we are offended, we soon discover that when someone’s words are offensive, it is often because they poked around an old unhealed wound. It is essential to identify these triggers to strengthen ourselves against future pain and offense and heal past traumas and emotional blockages. 
Some questions to ask once you have recognized that you are offended are…

When have I experienced this before?
Who or what do these feelings remind me of?
How did it make me feel then?
How does this trigger me to feel now?
How does this contradict how I perceive myself?
How does this affirm how I perceive myself?

Of course, these questions are just the beginning of learning to acknowledge, find the root of, accept, and heal triggers. Remember, a trigger isn’t a “bad” or shameful thing; it can be a powerful tool for self-exploration and personal growth!

Toxic or Tactful Defensiveness?
Just as triggers aren’t all “bad,” vulnerability isn’t all good. We are often encouraged to be receptive and open-hearted; Genuine has become synonymous with wearing our hearts on our sleeves. However, this, like most extremes, is not healthy. To swing too far on the spectrum, being totally “open” leaves us defenseless against those who would do us harm, destabilize our self-wroth, and compromise our sense of self. Too far in the opposite direction, we would be narrow-minded, emotionally detached, unable, and unwilling to change.
 
Ultimately, it is the difference between a blockage and a boundary. Boundaries are a matter of self-worth. Blockages stem from self-doubt. Toxic defensiveness is a cage, limiting our growth and keeping away everyone and everything that would challenge our limiting beliefs or lead to change. Tactful defensiveness creates a healthy boundary between you, others, and their opinion. It allows you to define who you are while adapting to who you are becoming.
 
How to Not Take Things Personally
Taking things personally can significantly impede our self-esteem, ability to communicate with others, and journey to enlightenment. How much more evolved would we all be if we took things a little less personally and chose to be responsive instead of reactive? Learning to do so is a practice; Each day, it is a moment-to-moment choice to move through life consciously, mindful of the grey areas between our perception, reality, and the perception of others. Practicing a CALM approach to life, you will soon discover the freedom of not taking things personally!
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Confidence - Create a self-care routine and spiritual practice that nourishes self-worth and personal conviction.
Accountability – Non-judgementally, hold yourself accountable for your perceptions, reactions, growth, and healing. 
Learn – Take a step back and explore what the “offense” has triggered for you and why. Be willing to learn more about what you need to heal.
Move On – Acceptance is a big part of the journey. Even if someone intended to harm you, accept that you cannot control others, only your response; Know when it is time to let go and move on.

In love and truth,

​Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

The Man Behind the Curtain
Do you remember the scene from the Wizard of Oz when Toto pulls back the Wizard’s curtain? It’s been a long time since many of us have seen the movie but close your eyes and try to recall the “wizard’s” reaction…It was filled with threatening anger, panic, and fear, and finally, when the man behind the curtain was revealed, profound sadness and a tale of loss. The Wizard of Oz is a whimsical tale of talking lions and flying monkeys, yet the anxiety of being revealed as who they are behind the curtain is painfully real to many.
 
Another common childhood memory may have similar undertones. Guests are coming over, and your mom whips herself into an anxious frenzy, ensuring you are dressed and pressed, every hair in place, and the house is spit shinned. Mom may even caution you to be on your best behavior for the arriving company. Perhaps you are this parent today.
 
Of course, we all have private lives that we neither hide nor advertise from the anime aficionado and weekend nudist to the grieving child or separated spouse. However, when masks become part of our daily wardrobe, we can become bound in the straitjacket of inauthenticity.

Unmasking the Ego
Why did mom scurry around the house, making things picture-perfect? Why do some people buy homes and cars beyond their financial means? Why do couples stay together when they no longer love or even like each other? It all comes down to three letters, EGO. The ego is the bridge between the outside world and the inner self. It can be a protector, facilitator, or translator when it is healthy and whole. When the ego self is wounded and damaged, it can cause us to respond defensively, aggressively, or deceptively. 

What hurts the ego, causing us to respond in this way? Ego wounds are emotional traumas that overwhelm our coping skills and defense mechanisms. This is why many ego wounds occur in childhood when the ego is still developing, and we have little recourse in response to the shame, guilt, fear, and pain we may encounter. Of course, the ego can be damaged at any life stage. And, because we all have varying levels of trauma tolerance, everyone’s ego can be affected by different events in different ways. 

Examples of Ego Trauma
Parental Abandonment 
Academic Challenges
Divorce from a Spouse
Rejection from a Peer Group
Disregarded by a Romantic Interest
Teased by Family or Friends
Professional Failure
Mocked By a Teacher
Feeling Like an Outsider (financially, physically, intellectually, etc.)

Perfection, The Enemy of Authenticity
Ego wounds often result in inauthenticity because people are trying to avoid reinjury. Consequently, wounded individuals strive to project a perfect image to avoid experiencing shame, rejection, guilt, or abandonment again, thereby protecting the ego. Defending an injured ego indefinitely actually weakens the ego instead of strengthening it. Think of it as a broken limb, for example. We wear the cast temporarily as we heal, but it must eventually come off, or the appendage will atrophy. 

And, what happens when the ego’s defenses atrophy? The ego becomes preoccupied with its defenselessness and vulnerability, causing fear, anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. Trying to hide this angst and sorrow creates a vicious cycle of masking and hiding behind façades.
 
It is crucial to remember that the inner child or lower self, the ego self, and the higher self are all part of a singular individual. We are discussing it now as something separate to highlight our accountability for and sovereignty over the ego self. It is up to us to heal and strengthen our ego self so we can represent ourselves and navigate the world in empowering constructive ways. 

Authenticity is the Measure of Awakening
It would be remiss to not acknowledge the price we often pay for living authentically. We must first be willing to be vulnerable. By exposing our true selves and living honestly, we open ourselves to the risk of rejection, abandonment, judgment, shame, and failure. We must also be willing to accept that not everyone will celebrate or approve of us. And we need to understand that when we are denied, it will be for who we are and not who we’ve led others to believe we are, which can be even more painful at times.

However, the price of authenticity actually pales greatly in comparison to its gifts. The rewards of living an authentic life are plentiful. We gain freedom, self-love, self-worth, inner peace, joy, and empowerment. When we choose to honor our truth, live vulnerably, and let go of fear and a need for acceptance, we also find clarity, release, and awakening.
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The Authentic Self, the Soul Made Visible
It’s rather miraculous how the routine choice to observe yourself, reflect on your truth, and respond authentically can be such a transformative practice, though not in the way you may think. By living authentically, you don’t change who you are becoming; you become who you were always meant to be, which is also the fundamental truth of awakening. 

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

Let’s face it, everyone encounters adversity in their lives. It can be a daily inconvenience, like a parking ticket, a painful or disruptive circumstance like a job loss or breakup, or a life-altering event such as a serious illness or the death of someone you love. No one is exempt; Adversity is one of life’s great equalizers. 
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So, why do some people crumble under the burden or hardship, with those that never recover, while others seem to withstand the burden, heal, grow, and perhaps thrive? While there can be multiple factors at play, ego dramatically influences how we face, endure, and overcome adversity.

The Many Faces of Ego
From the scientific study of psychology to the intuitive wisdom of spirituality, the ego has many faces. At times vilified, “the ego must die!” Celebrated by others as “the voice of reason and sanity.” With so much divergence, what can be agreed on? 
Ego is accepted across disciplines as the conscious part of the personality, a mediator between our inner workings and the outer world. It is who we think we are and often who the world believes us to be. 

The ego’s fundamental role is to serve as a gatekeeper between our outer experience and the lower and higher self. Like a switch operator, the ego decides whether it will direct adversity’s call to the lower or higher self. The ego makes this decision, actually all its decisions, on what it perceives as facts about the self.

The types of “facts” the ego believes can be self-deprecating

• I am unworthy
• I am vulnerable
• I am victimized

Self-aggrandizing

• I am better than others
• I cannot fail
• I am perfect

Or self-honoring

• I am worthy
• I am capable
• I am empowered

Though the ego doesn’t tend to judge itself exclusively by one perspective, most people will view themselves in primarily self-deprecating, self-aggrandizing, or self-honoring ways, rarely balanced across all points of view. 

The Burden of the Ego
Those who are arrogant and self-loathing often bear the burden of ego. For these people, the ego becomes a locus of attack and defense. They often believe that adversity happens to them or at them like arrows flung in battle. They view themselves as either vulnerable victims or superiorly separate from life’s hardships. 
Self-loathing people often view hardships as a punishment, at times deserved, for being lesser than or failing. In this way, these people align with their misfortune, embodying it, becoming the suffering itself. This can worsen their hardships, making them harder to overcome.
 
Self-aggrandizing people often view their hardships as beneath them, rarely deserved, because they are above it all. In this way, these people resist their misfortune, denying it, fighting it, and making the misfortune an enemy. This creates attachment to their hardships, making them harder to move past.
 
In both cases, the ego convinces the self that when adversity stops, there will be peace. As a result, the individual becomes a slave to the ego because misfortune is inevitable and unavoidable. There needs to be another way!

The Benefits of Ego
Those who are self-honoring often heal and grow from the benefit of ego. For these people, the ego becomes a locus of acceptance and accountability. They view themselves as worthy, empowered, and self-knowing when facing life’s adversities. They often believe misfortune simply happens like a storm crossing the sky.
These self-respecting people often view hardships as happenstance, learning opportunities, karma, or destiny. These people do not identify with their misfortune at all. Instead, they acknowledge, accept, overcome, and release it, neutralizing the adversity and the potential for suffering. This makes it easier to take accountability, learn, and adapt. 

In this case, the ego faces adversity with self-worth, empowerment, and self-knowledge.

• Self-worth contributes to environmental mastery
• Empowerment contributes to adaptability
• Self-knowledge contributes to self-actualization

Meaning instead of waiting for the end of adversity to have peace. Having personal conviction brings peace and ends adversity.

Facing Adversity with Neutrality 
By seeing adversity as

• A necessary part of the human experience
• Karma or Divine order
• A lesson or chance to learn

You will no longer become attached to it and stop worsening your suffering by aligning with it or resisting it. When you face adversity with neutrality, viewing it objectively as something unavoidable and unbiased, like the ebb and flow of the tide, you can significantly minimize your suffering or prevent it altogether.

Albert Einstein once said adversity introduces a man to himself. Still, there is more to it! Adversity also introduces us to our higher self. Ultimately, adversity is not just one of life’s great equalizers. It is also one of life’s greatest teachers!

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines 

By Lori Lines

​Growing up, many of us are conditioned to trust facts, not feelings. Think back to math class. It was never enough to have the correct response; you had to “show your work.” We become conditioned to think that anything that can’t be proven in black and white falls into the cognitive abyss of incredulity and insignificance.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” In other words, show me the evidence, and I’ll acknowledge the validity of your point of view. Yet, how can you show someone the carefree exhilaration of getting caught in a sun shower, the pain of saying goodbye, or the indignation of witnessing injustice? There are ultimate truths that can never be embodied by words on a page, numbers on a spreadsheet, or even when beholding it with one’s own eyes. Not until some people experience or manifest some of these absolute realities can they have conviction in their truth.

 For instance, Divinity, as an experience, principle, or being(s), cannot be conjured at will to prove to a nonbeliever that it exists. Does that then negate the existence of the Divine? Sadly, for the left-brained thinker, it does! 

You may ask, what is a left-brained thinker? Contrary to how it may sound, the distinction between left or right-brained thinkers has nothing to do with political polarities! it refers to the pathways through which people process their worldly experiences. The left-brain processes experience through logic, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” It systematically parses and stores information based on tangible evidence. 

The right brain processes our experiences in a way that adds richness, depth, and meaning. Those who think with their right brain gain understanding based on emotions, intuition, and spiritual awareness. Right-brained thinkers know “believing is seeing” because they gain wisdom through a holistic impression of what is seen and unseen, the tangible and intangible. They know there is so much more to reality than what can be witnessed with the 5 bodily senses.
 
We create our own reality when we see, think, and understand primarily through the right brain. And the existence we choose is designed by what we believe in our hearts and higher consciousness. At that point, believing truly is seeing because we can see past what we have been conditioned to fear, trust, and surrender to. 
When you have conviction in your own awareness and inner truth, you also realize that many “facts” are not really factual at all. When we see, think, and feel for ourselves, our knowledge and experience are no longer pigeonholed by where we were raised, who raised us, who we follow on social media, or the cable channels available to us.

The distinction between “I’ll believe it when I see it” and “believing is seeing” does not solely impact us on a personal level. In actuality, it has communal, global, and universal implications. When we are moved as masses by socialized fear, hate, division, and panic, it wreaks widespread havoc and pandemonium. The same way the left brain parses information is the same way it can parse people. The left brain thinks in terms of “us and them” and “ me and you,” based on observable distinctions between individuals or groups and me. On the other hand, the holistic perspective of the right-brain views things in terms of “us and we” based on the higher awareness and intuitive belief that we are a collective and that oneness is the highest path.

The ultimate truth of the New Earth, the 5th Dimension, or the Age of Enlightenment is loving, harmonious unity. We are one through ascension because we all hear, and heed, the singular voice of the Source. We are unified because we all trust the voice within, channeling the absolute veracity of Divinity.

 Yet, does this oneness have to remain a distant possibility of the 5D?
Things could be different from the pandemic of dread, depression, and dissension. Because, the truth is, there is a better way! If we stop seeing the world through the fractured, disconnected lens of the left brain and start viewing it through the unified, harmonious perspective of the right brain, we can bring Divine order and holistic balance back to the heart and soul of society on a communal, social, and universal level.
 
Don’t wait until you see it to believe it. Believe it now! Believe social, global, and universal healing is possible. And just like that, you can begin to create the world you wish to see.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines 

By Lori Lines
Your spouse asks you to join them for a show, but you decline, explaining that you must catch up on work. They go anyway, and you lash out because you feel abandoned. Still, you did tell them you were too busy.

Your boss asks you to stay late and give her feedback on a project she's been working on, you have a prior engagement, but you blow it off because you feel elated to be "chosen" and acknowledged despite this being an unpaid infringement on your private time.
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You promise your friend you will come over and help her prepare for a party. You get absorbed in a Wordle puzzle at the last minute, ignoring her call when she phones to see where you are. You realize that you don't feel up to it but feel too anxious to let your friend know.

What do all these examples have in common? They could all be indicative of a need for inner child healing!

What is Inner Child Healing?

Also known as inner child work, it is any healing practice that addresses needs that weren't met or wounds that were created when we were children. While inner child wounds are prevalent among victims of trauma and neglect, we all have an inner child who may not have been loved, guided, or even reprimanded in the way they needed during development.
 
Inner child healing creates space for the child locked within the subconscious mind to speak their truth, needs, and feelings, drowning out the echoes of those who criticized, rejected, and labeled them. When we allow our inner child a choice and a voice, we self-actualize through integrating the shadow and light or the subconscious and conscious.
 
The principal goals of inner child work are to acknowledge their wounds, recognize the maladaptive beliefs and coping strategies they use to navigate the world, and heal by hearing, protecting, honoring, and reparenting the inner child.

Signs Your Inner Child is Wounded

There are many "symptoms" of an inner child needing healing. They can be as seemingly insignificant as repeatedly playing hooky from work during a deadline or as glaring as multiple DUIs! The following are some of the most common cries for help from the inner child.

Codependence Vs. Alienation – A tendency to adopt the belief that "I can't live without you" is just as indicative of wounding as "I don't need anyone." Healthy adults value their independence yet, allow themselves to ask for help when needed.
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Reactivity – When any inconvenience results in an emotional breakdown or disruptive acting out, this is the "adult" manifestation of a temper tantrum. We are intended for thoughtful and intuitive responses to life, not impulsive and impetuous reactions.

Self-Destruction – When we think of destructive behaviors, we often things of gambling, alcohol and drug abuse, compulsive shopping, and infidelity. However, self-destructive coping also includes workaholism, restrictive dieting, overly people-pleasing, and serial monogamy.

Toxic Attachment Patterns – Whether in platonic or romantic relationships, those with an inner child wound tend to struggle with unhealthy attachment patterns. This can include avoiding conflict, emotional expression, or meaningful conversation. This often goes hand in hand with anxious attachment, involving the pathological need to please others. There may be a tendency to dismiss their needs for those of others or vice versa. This is often associated with being a gas lighter or a reoccurring pattern of being gaslighted. 

Benefits of Inner Child Healing

We are often taught the "adult" thing to do when suffering is to suck it up. This leads to a tendency to reject our inner child and look disdainfully upon the part of ourselves that is wounded and bereft. This contributes to a fractured sense of self, leading to self-loathing, inauthenticity, developmental and spiritual stagnation, emotional detachment, alienation from others, humanity, and Spirit. 
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Embracing the inner child teaches us there is no shame in the shadows of our wounds, thoughts, and emotions. By accepting the self fully, we can integrate the shadow and light, self-actualize, and ascend – we are no longer fractured. We are whole!

Inner child work enriches our lives on many levels, elevating our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health, nourishing our relationships, fostering success in our careers, and contributing to an overall sense of fulfillment and joy. We are catalysts of generational and communal healing when we heal our partnerships and families through inner child work. Moreover, if every child was swaddled in love and had a heart overflowing with empowerment, we could heal the world, creating a wave of awakening and enlightenment!

Methods of Inner Child Healing

The best way to create space for the inner child is to quiet the left brain and activate the right. The left brain is a locust of logic, reasoning, and conditioning. The left brain is the source of life's "shoulds and shouldn'ts" and is heavily restricted by the limitations of the 3D and societal mores. Alternatively, the right brain is a flowing source of emotions, intuition, creativity, instinctual knowing, imagination, and higher vision. The following modalities are trusted tools for inner child healing.
Art Therapy – By activating the right brain, creative arts and art therapy under the guidance of a trained practitioner provides the inner child a chance to play, create, and express themselves.

Hypnosis – Bypassing the conscious mind and accessing unconscious resources, hypnosis can create space for the inner child to convey their trauma and wounds while also giving them access to healing.

Journaling – Inner child journal prompts to build a rapport with the inner child, strengthening and honoring their voice. It is an excellent way to begin the healing journey by creating a safe space without shame or guilt.

Meditation & Mindfulness – Quieting the mental chatter, self-criticisms, and internalized judgments of the left brain, these practices soothe the nervous system and create a peaceful, broad expanse for the inner child to explore and express. 

QHHT – Bypassing both the left brain and the ego-self, QHHT reactivates and strengthens the right brain while fostering a connection with the higher self. The higher self can then inform the healing processes by comforting and empowering the inner child, accessing repressed memories, and providing a safe space to explore "negative" or shameful emotions.
 
Final Thoughts…

Your inner child is a seed. Though small and hidden, it is the foundation of growth for your entire being. Therefore, while your inner child's wounds may not be your fault, their healing is still in your hands…your life depends on it!

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines