By Lori Lines

The mind can be construed as a double-edged sword. It is capable of providing us great benefit as well as great injury. Naturally, we want to cultivate our inner processes in such a way that we maximize or minds' capacity for doing good and to minimize its tendencies for causing pain and suffering.  

It is important, in this juncture in our evolution, to nurture our minds in a way that will bring us greater joy.  The mind tends to operate in a rather haphazard way, bounding from thought to thought with little or no apparent prompting of direction. Our minds seem to have a mind of their own.  It might appear that our minds are thoroughly out of our control as if we have no choice of the kinds of things that drift across our minds.

Although thoughts seem to come out of the blue, they are, in fact, conditioned
by previous patterns of thought.  The thoughts that our mind produces now have been shaped by its history of thinking. This history can connect all the way back to previous lives we have lived as well as our current life history of thinking.

Neuro-scientific research has shown that routine patterns of thought make incremental but substantial changes in the way the brain is structured and the way the mind functions. These alterations make the brain more effective at doing what it is asked to do.  If we habitually think in certain ways, then our minds become more adept at these patterns of thought. Patterns of thought becomes belief.  Beliefs manifest patterns of behavior and circumstances that can benefit us or injure us.

Thus, as the concept of conditioning suggests, positive or wholesome thoughts create a propensity for more positive or wholesome thoughts.  Fortunately, we can use this dynamic principle to our advantage.  While we may not be in conscious control of each and every thought, a meditation practice can show us that we can choose which thoughts to entertain and to develop and which to observe and release.  In this manner, we can influence the kinds of thoughts we are more likely to produce in the future.

Knowing this, we can use our power to select and foster or relinquish thoughts that can help us to cultivate a skillful and clear mind that serves us well.

I invite you  to become aware and observe your thoughts as they arise, but also identify the kinds of thoughts you are having. Once identified, we can make conscious choices about how we will handle them.

What can occur in a QHHT session or in a Mindfulness Coaching session is when one begins to wake up to the types of thoughts they habituate, one comes to an understanding of how these habitual thoughts have manifested problematic patterns in one's life. And, with this self-knowledge, one can begin to shift and change the trajectory of ones life altogether.

In love and truth,

Lori Lines
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By Lori Lines

Projection is the subconscious act of transferring your own unwanted traits, emotions, and behaviors on to someone else.  Projective identification, sometimes referred to as projection as well, is the subconscious act of taking feelings from one interpersonal, connection, situation, or relationship and place it on to an unrelated one.  Finally, externalization is when we blame others for our circumstances and problems, falsely assuming a victim mentality.

It can all seem a little confusing to someone who isn't familiar with these terms, so here are a few examples.  An example of projection is feeling bad about not giving your all at work.  Subconsciously you feel guilty that you've been disinterested and unfocused at work.  Instead of assuming responsibility for not giving your all, you lash out at a blameless co-worker for being lazy and inconsiderate for not doing their fair share.  You took your negative feelings and placed them on your co-worker.

An example of projective identification is having left a relationship where you were undervalued and felt unheard, and you go to a skilled therapist and counselor.  You get frustrated with the therapist because they never hear you and often treat you with a lack of respect, unconsciously painting them with the same brush as your ex.

An example of externalization would be poor money management and thoughtless spending having you in a financial crunch.  Instead of assuming responsibility for your carelessness, you blame your innocent partner for always suggesting expensive activities.

Now that you know what these terms are, you may ask why we do them.  They are coping mechanisms to help us deal with uncomfortable and unwelcome emotional and mental experiences.   The above are examples of maladaptive coping.  There are different reasons why we engage in these particular maladaptive coping techniques.  They can be a means to avoid shame and damage to the ego-self.  Some people are trying to prevent fearful or unpredictable outcomes.  For others, it is merely a consequence of trying to block these unwanted thoughts, feelings, or behaviors out of their mind.  By deciding not to think about them, our quirky brains focus on them even more.  We have all engaged in this type of coping at some point in our lives, they are unconscious mechanisms after all, but a chronic or contentious tendency towards projection and blame can be very damaging to others, our relationships, and our spiritual path.

As I'm sure you can imagine, when someone is projected upon or blamed when they are not guilty of the perceived offense, it can damage their self-esteem and self-worth, if they choose to take it on.  Over time, when someone is met with a constant barrage of projection, it can build a toxic shame within them.  This toxicity can spill over into all areas of life.  This is why it is essential to consider and shape our interactions, our reactions with empathy and compassion.

The truth is, the avoidance of negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors thwart our own healing and spiritual growth.  We cannot walk in the light if we don't first acknowledge and accept the dark or shadow components of our past and who we are.  If we project that which is undesirable in us onto others, we never get the chance to open it to the light and to correct ourselves.  By projecting and blaming, we damage our sense of empowerment, our strength, and our self-worth.  We assume the role of victim and, by doing so, we cease striving to surmount our challenges and our traumas so that we can move forward in our lives in a healthy way.

Finally, the path to enlightenment is one of love, love of the self and love of others.  When we project and blame, it is a victimization and a rejection of who we really are, there is no room for self-love in this chronic pattern of denying our truth.  Also, as mentioned, by casting unwarranted guilt on others, we can do damage to their spirit, which wrongfully impacts their path and their ability to fulfill their purpose, love cannot be sustained in this circumstance, either.

Psychological projection, projective identity, and blame all stem from judgments.  Judgements of ourselves that are manifested as judgments projected onto others.  The first step in breaking the toxic pattern of maladaptive projective coping is to release judgment.  The ego-self is sustained by judgments, when you can observe your thoughts, your feelings, and your behaviors with awareness, and without judgment, you are on the path to negative ego-death and enlightenment.

It is exciting to see a trend in my QHHT practice that many of my clients are beginning to recognize, and to take responsibility for,  their own role when they are projecting their own wounds into situations and relationships. As the article states, we all do this from time-to-time, but when it becomes a habit of deflecting the underlying issues, projection can take a very dysfunctional turn.

This trend is showing me that the collective is allowing these underlying wounds to float up to the surface so that we can finally have the opportunity to deal with these shadow parts of ourselves in order to finally make the changes needed and put them to rest.

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines