By Lori Lines

​When we see someone suffering or experiencing difficult emotions, our natural instinct might be to feel bad for them. After all, it comes from a place of compassion, right? But there's a subtle distinction between empathy and pity, and understanding this difference can be life-changing—not just for those we wish to support but also for our own growth.

Feeling bad for others may seem like a compassionate response, but when we dig deeper, we see that it can also be a form of unconscious judgment. It assumes that the person is in a state of weakness or lack, that something is "wrong" with them or their situation. This mentality, while well-intentioned, can inadvertently hold someone in their lower vibration, making it harder for them to rise out of it. In this way, pity becomes a co-creator of the energy we wish to dispel.

Your Soul Journey: Here for Expansion

At the core of our human experience is the soul's desire for growth, evolution, and expansion. Every challenge, hardship, or moment of suffering we encounter is an opportunity to evolve our consciousness. This process may only sometimes be pleasant, but it's essential. The soul seeks experience, not avoidance. It yearns for depth, not shallow comfort.

When we "feel bad" for someone, the question begs, are we viewing their experience from a limited perspective—the ego's perspective? We see only the surface-level pain, discomfort, or confusion rather than acknowledging the larger soul contract at play. Each of us is here to learn, expand our awareness, and elevate our consciousness. These moments of difficulty are often the very catalysts for that growth.

Why Pity Perpetuates the Cycle

Feeling pity for someone reinforces their self-perception of helplessness. Energy is contagious, and when you project the power of "I feel bad for you" onto another, you subtly affirm that they are in a state of disempowerment. You might even unknowingly amplify their feelings of being stuck, perpetuating a cycle where both of you are focusing on the problem rather than the solution or what they are to be learning for their soul growth.

If someone already feels terrible about themselves or their situation and adds pity to the mix, you can create a feedback loop of low-frequency energy. Instead of lifting the person up, you join them in their lower state of vibration, often resulting in a shared experience of frustration, sadness, or despair.

The Higher Perspective: Seeing Them in Their Highest Light With Compassion

True compassion requires a shift in perspective—one that comes from a place of higher consciousness. Instead of seeing the person as a victim of their circumstances, we can choose to see them as capable, empowered beings navigating their soul's journey. This does not mean denying their pain or dismissing their emotions; it means holding space for their experience while recognizing their innate ability to rise above it while learning from it.

By seeing someone in their highest light, you reflect back to them the truth of who they are: a soul having a human experience capable of growth, learning, and transcendence. When we stop feeling bad for others and instead hold the vision of their highest potential, we invite them to rise to that potential themselves. We become a mirror of empowerment rather than a mirror of pity.

Elevating Energy: From Sympathy to Empowerment

The question then becomes, how do we help someone without falling into the trap of pity? Here are some ways to support others from an elevated perspective:

Hold Space, Not Pity

Holding space means being present with someone in their pain, without judgment or an urge to "fix" things. It means allowing them to feel what they're feeling while maintaining the perspective that they can work through it. Holding space is one of the most powerful acts of love because it honors the person's process without imposing your own energy or opinions.

See Their Strength, Not Their Struggle

Instead of focusing on their pain, focus on their ability to overcome it. Speak to their strengths, remind them of their resilience, and reflect back on their inherent power. Even if they're in the depths of their challenge, your belief in their capacity for growth can spark the same belief within them.

Encourage Reflection and Self-Inquiry

Often, our growth comes from looking within. Rather than giving someone advice based on your perspective, ask questions, encouraging them to reflect on their feelings and experiences. Questions like, "What do you think this situation is teaching you?" or "How do you feel you can grow from this?" empower them to take ownership of their journey.

Guide Them to Their Inner Wisdom

Every person has access to their own inner guidance, though they may forget it during tough times. Gently remind them that the answers they seek are within. Whether through meditation, journaling, or mindful contemplation, encourage them to connect with their inner self and listen to the wisdom that arises.

Practice Detachment With Love

While we may want to see our loved ones thriving, it's important to remember that their journey is their own. Practicing loving detachment means offering support without becoming entangled in their emotional state or feeling responsible for their outcomes. It's about trusting that they are walking their path in the best way for their soul's evolution, even if it doesn't align with your expectations.

The Ripple Effect of Higher Vibration

By shifting from pity to empowerment, we elevate our own consciousness and create a ripple effect in the lives of others. When you hold someone in their highest light, they are more likely to rise into that light themselves. Your energy becomes a beacon of possibility, inspiring those around you to transcend their limitations and grow into their fullest potential.

It is important to remember the deeper ripple effect that occurs when we shift our consciousness. As you embody a higher vibration, you contribute to the collective consciousness in ways you may not even realize. Someone who elevates their perspective can inspire countless others to do the same.

Choose Empowerment Over Pity

Feeling bad for others might seem like a compassionate response, but it often keeps both parties in lower vibrational energy. Instead, we can choose to see every challenge as an opportunity for soul growth and consciousness elevation. By holding space, focusing on strengths, and encouraging reflection, we offer genuine support that empowers others to rise above their struggles.

So, the next time you encounter someone feeling down or going through a tough time, remember that they are not helpless victims of their circumstances. They are potent souls, navigating the complex web of human experience to expand their consciousness. Offer them the gift of seeing their strength; in doing so, you will elevate them to new heights of awareness.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

Some people have this rare, beautiful way of showing up in life—with kindness that expects nothing in return and generosity that comes straight from the heart. They lift others without even realizing it, simply by being who they are. I’m so incredibly grateful for those people in my life—the ones who remind me that goodness still exists in the quietest, most genuine ways.

What touches me even more is how they REALLY show up—sometimes in ways that others might find unimaginable. Ways that one didn’t even know they needed. Whether it’s a quiet act of support when no one else sees, or going out of their way without hesitation, they hold space, offer help, and give love in ways that leave me speechless.

These are high-vibing souls, ascending right alongside in their own beautiful ways. Our journeys may look different, but the energy is aligned. And I’ve come to understand that not everyone is meant to see me, and that’s okay. Some connections are soul-deep, while others pass by—and both have their place. I’m just grateful for the ones who walk beside me, even silently, in love and light.

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

​In today’s fast-paced world, where constant communication is the norm, idle chatter has become an almost inescapable part of daily life. Whether it’s casual gossip, trivial updates, or repetitive small talk, idle chatter can fill our conversations with noise that may seem harmless but can profoundly impact our well-being and relationships. Understanding the nature of idle chatter and applying mindfulness techniques can reduce unnecessary conversations and cultivate more meaningful connections.

The Nature of Idle Chatter

Idle chatter refers to a superficial conversation that often serves no real purpose but to fill the silence or pass the time. This type of communication is usually characterized by a lack of depth and may include topics like the weather, celebrity gossip, or mundane observations. While idle chatter can be a way to initiate social interaction, it can also become a habit that distracts us from more important matters and leads to superficial relationships and even draining our energy.

The reasons behind idle chatter vary. It can stem from social anxiety, where people feel compelled to talk to avoid awkward silences. It may also be a way to seek validation or approval from others. Sometimes, people engage in idle chatter to avoid dealing with their thoughts and emotions. However, this communication can become draining, leaving us disconnected and unfulfilled.

The Impact of Idle Chatter

Engaging in constant idle chatter can have several adverse effects on our lives:

Mental Clutter: Idle chatter contributes to mental clutter by filling our minds with unnecessary information. This can lead to difficulty focusing on essential tasks and feeling overwhelmed.

Superficial Relationships: When our conversations are dominated by trivial matters, we miss the opportunity to build deeper, more meaningful connections with others. Relationships based on idle chatter may need more trust and understanding from genuine communication.

Time Wasting: Time spent on idle chatter could be better spent on productive activities, personal reflection, or engaging in meaningful conversations.

Emotional Drain: Engaging in shallow conversations can be emotionally exhausting, especially if we feel pressured to participate. This can result in dissatisfaction and even social burnout.

Overcoming Idle Chatter Through Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and aware in the moment. It is an effective way to overcome the habit of idle chatter. By practicing mindfulness, we can be more intentional in our communication, choosing words and topics that are meaningful and constructive.

Here’s how mindfulness can help:

Awareness of Speech: Mindfulness encourages us to focus on our thoughts and words before speaking. By becoming aware of the impulse to engage in idle chatter, we can pause and consider whether the conversation will add value to our lives or those of others.

Intentional Conversations: Practicing mindfulness enables deliberate discussions about meaningful, inspiring, or informative topics, fostering deeper connections and fulfilling relationships.

Comfort with Silence: Mindfulness teaches us to be comfortable with silence in ourselves and our interactions with others. It is difficult to improve on silence as it allows us to reflect, listen more attentively, and speak purposefully when we engage.

Emotional Regulation: By practicing mindfulness, we can better manage our emotions and reduce the need to use idle chatter to cope with stress or anxiety. This leads to more authentic and grounded interactions.

Active Listening: Mindfulness enhances our ability to listen actively and empathetically. When we truly listen, we can respond more thoughtfully, naturally reducing the inclination to engage in meaningless conversation.

Practical Tips for Cultivating Mindfulness in Conversation

To bring more mindfulness into your daily conversations, consider the following tips:

Pause Before Speaking: Take a moment to consider your words before speaking. Ask yourself if what you’re about to say is necessary, helpful, and kind.

Set Intentions: Before engaging in a conversation, set an intention to be fully present and attentive. Prioritize the quality of the interaction over the quantity of words spoken.

Practice Deep Listening: Pay attention to the person you are speaking with. Avoid interrupting or thinking about your response while they are talking. This fosters a deeper connection and reduces the tendency for idle chatter.

Embrace Silence: Don’t be afraid of silence in conversations. Allow pauses to create space for reflection and more meaningful exchanges.

Limit Distractions: Minimize distractions such as phones or background noise when conversing. This helps you stay focused and present.

Final Thoughts...

Idle chatter may seem harmless, but it can significantly impact our mental clarity, relationships, and well-being. However, by practicing mindfulness, we can overcome the habit of engaging in superficial conversations and instead cultivate meaningful, intentional communication. This enriches our interactions with others, fosters deeper connections, and leads to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

​In the endeavor of personal growth and emotional well-being, one profound concept that emerges from one of my most cherished books is the art of not taking things personally. Don Miguel Ruiz beautifully introduces this transformative notion in his bestseller, "The Four Agreements." By comprehending and embracing this principle, we liberate ourselves from needless suffering, fortify our relationships, and nurture inner peace, empowering us to take charge of our emotional state.

The Wisdom of Don Miguel Ruiz

Don Miguel Ruiz, a renowned author and spiritual teacher, outlines the second agreement in his book, "The Four Agreements," as "Don't Take Anything Personally." According to Ruiz, when we take things personally, we allow the opinions and actions of others to control our emotional state, leading to unnecessary suffering and conflicts.

Ruiz emphasizes that people's reactions often reflect their beliefs, experiences, and emotions rather than a commentary on their worth or identity. By embracing this perspective, we can free ourselves from the need for approval from others and cultivate a stronger sense of self-love and self-acceptance.

Example: The Story of the Broken Vase

Let's imagine a situation where someone accidentally knocks over a valuable vase in your home. Your immediate reaction might be anger, frustration, or hurt, especially if the vase holds sentimental value. Let's apply Ruiz's principle of not taking things personally to this scenario and see how it can change our perspective.

Instead of assuming the act was deliberate or a personal attack, you can choose to recognize that accidents happen. The responsible person may have been distracted, unaware, or made a mistake. By reframing your perspective and not internalizing the incident as a personal affront, you can approach the situation with compassion and understanding.

In this example, taking nothing personally allows you to preserve your emotional well-being and maintain a harmonious relationship with the person involved. By not allowing the incident to define your worth or the other person's intentions, you can respond with empathy, fostering a positive atmosphere.

Practical Steps to Embrace Wisdom: 

Develop Self-Awareness: 
The first practical step in mastering the art of not taking things personally is to develop self-awareness. Pay attention to your reactions and emotional responses in various situations.

Awareness:
Fostering self-awareness is the initial step in mastering the art of not taking things personally. Be attentive to your reactions and emotional responses in diverse situations, enlightening yourself about your emotional triggers and patterns.

Question Assumptions:
When faced with criticism or perceived slights, question your assumptions. Ask yourself if the other person's words or actions reflect your worth or if alternative explanations exist.

Practice Empathy:
Cultivate empathy for others by considering their perspectives and understanding that their behavior is often influenced by their experiences, beliefs, and emotions.

Focus on Self-Love:
Establish a robust foundation of self-love and acceptance. When you appreciate yourself irrespective of external opinions, you enhance your self-worth and become less susceptible to the views of others, reinforcing your sense of value and worthiness.

Final Thoughts...

To develop personally and cultivate emotional resilience, mastering not taking things personally. Don Miguel Ruiz's teachings provide valuable insights into navigating the complexities of human interactions with grace and wisdom. By practicing awareness, questioning assumptions, and cultivating empathy, individuals can liberate themselves from unnecessary suffering and foster healthier relationships. The broken vase's story is a poignant example of how embracing this principle can lead to greater understanding, compassion, and emotional well-being.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

​Walking through a spiritual awakening often entails a significant transformation of values, reshaping individuals' perceptions and interactions with the world. We will explore the process of value transformation during spiritual awakening, delving into the reasons behind this shift, how we can steer these changes, and the enduring impact on inner growth, compassion, and service to others.

What are Values? Some Examples:

Values fundamental principles or standards that we hold in determining what is right or wrong, good or bad, and just or unjust. These values shape ethical behavior and decision-making. Common values include:

Honesty: Being truthful and transparent in one’s actions and communications.
Integrity: Adhering to moral and ethical principles, even when it is difficult.
Respect: Showing consideration and appreciation for others, their rights, and their beliefs.
Responsibility: Being accountable for one's actions and their consequences.
Fairness: Treating others equitably and making impartial decisions.
Compassion: Showing empathy and concern for the well-being of others.
Courage: Standing up for what is right, even in the face of adversity.
Humility: Recognizing and valuing the worth of others and being open to self-improvement.
Loyalty: Being faithful to commitments and obligations to others.
Justice: Upholding principles of fairness and equity, ensuring that individuals are treated justly.

These values are often influenced by cultural, religious, and societal norms and can vary widely across different communities and individuals.

The Dynamics of Value Transformation:

Spiritual awakening, a powerful catalyst, empowers us to reevaluate our personal values and priorities. It encourages us to transcend surface-level existence and seek a deeper, more meaningful connection with ourselves and the world around us. This transformation is not a passive process, but one that we can actively navigate and shape.

Shift from Materialistic Pursuits:

A central aspect of value transformation involves a departure from the relentless pursuit of material possessions and external achievements. Those of us undergoing spiritual awakening recognize the impermanence of material wealth and the limitations of deriving fulfillment solely from external sources.

Diminished Emphasis on External Validations:

As most undergo spiritual awakening, the need for external validations, whether through societal approval or the attainment of societal norms, diminishes. This liberation from societal expectations allows for the discovery of a wellspring of self-worth that is independent of external opinions, fostering a more authentic and internally driven sense of validation.

Focus on Inner Growth:

Spiritual awakening redirects attention inward, emphasizing the significance of inner growth and discovering deeper aspects of ourselves that reside within. This shift prompts us to explore our true nature, confront our fears, and embrace our vulnerabilities as integral aspects of the human experience.

Cultivation of Compassion:

Value transformation often includes a heightened emphasis on compassion, both toward oneself and others. As we recognize the interconnectedness of all life, a natural outpouring of empathy and understanding arises, forming the foundation for more compassionate relationships and actions.

Service to Others:

An awakened person is not only inclined but also finds joy and fulfillment in moving beyond self-centered pursuits and engaging in service to others. This may manifest as acts of kindness, philanthropy, or the pursuit of professions and endeavors that contribute positively to the well-being of the larger community. The joy of service becomes a driving force in our lives.

Steering the Transformation of Values:

Self-Reflection: A crucial step in the process of value transformation is engaging in regular self-reflection. This practice allows you to identify and understand your core values, what truly matters to you, and what brings a sense of fulfillment beyond external achievements. It serves as a compass, guiding you to align your actions with your evolving values.


Mindfulness Practices: Incorporating mindfulness practices like meditation, yoga, or mindful breathing into your daily routine is essential. These practices create a space for self-awareness, allowing you to clearly observe and understand the subtle shifts in your values. They serve as a mirror, reflecting the changes within you.

Evaluate Relationships: Assess your relationships and how they align with your evolving values. Surround yourself with individuals who support your growth and share similar values, fostering a supportive and nourishing environment.

Educate Yourself: Explore spiritual teachings and philosophical literature and engage in discussions aligned with your evolving values. Continuous learning and exposure to diverse perspectives can deepen understanding and strengthen commitment to transformed values.

Set Intentions: Clearly define your values and set intentions for aligning your actions with those values. Create a personal and spiritual growth roadmap, incorporating milestones that reflect your evolving priorities.

Practice Gratitude: Cultivate gratitude for the present moment and the journey of transformation. Acknowledge the progress, no matter how small, and express gratitude for the lessons learned.

Challenges and Resilience: 

Value transformation is not without its challenges. We may face resistance from societal expectations, internal conflicts, or the discomfort of stepping outside familiar comfort zones. In these moments, resilience, self-compassion, and a steadfast commitment to authenticity are crucial. They act as your armor, protecting you as you navigate the path of transformation.

The journey of value transformation, during spiritual awakening, is deep and can transform us. By navigating this journey with self-reflection, mindfulness practices, intentional relationships, continuous education, and a commitment to authenticity, we can cultivate a life aligned with our deepest values. Embracing the evolution of values leads to a more fulfilling life marked by inner growth, compassion, and a purpose-driven commitment to serving others. In the alchemy of transformation, we discover the true essence of a meaningful and spiritually enriched life.

Final Thoughts...

Understanding oneself deeply is a cornerstone of developing a robust value system and navigating a spiritual awakening with intentionality.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

​When it comes to understanding and trusting others, your feelings can be a powerful guide. Authentic people, those who are genuine and true to themselves, make it easier for our brains to relax and feel at ease. Here’s why:


Reduced Cognitive Load

When interacting with authentic people, our brains don’t have to work as hard. Genuine individuals communicate straightforwardly and honestly, without hidden meanings or inconsistencies. This clear communication reduces the mental effort needed to decipher their intentions, allowing us to feel more relaxed. In contrast, dealing with deceitful or manipulative people keeps our brains on high alert, which can be exhausting.

Lower Stress and Greater Predictability

Authentic people tend to be predictable and trustworthy. Our nervous system thrives in environments where it can accurately predict outcomes. When we can trust someone to do what they say and mean what they say, it creates a stable social environment. This predictability reduces uncertainty and stress, making interactions more peaceful and less stressful.

Consistent Actions and Words

Genuine people’s actions align with their words. They mean what they say and follow through on their promises. This consistency is reassuring and helps build trust. It’s comforting to know that someone will act in ways that match their words, reducing the need for us to second-guess or worry about their true intentions.

Positive Social Support

Authentic people often provide valuable social support, which is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. Having someone who truly understands and supports us can buffer against stress and anxiety. This support fosters a sense of peace and security, knowing we have someone reliable in our corner.

Observing Your Brain’s Reactions

Pay attention to how you react when interacting with others. If you feel relaxed and at ease, chances are you’re dealing with an authentic person. On the other hand, if you constantly feel on edge or anxious, it might be a sign that the person isn’t as genuine as they appear.

Trusting Your Feelings to Perceive Sincerity and Genuineness in Others

Our feelings are powerful tools for perceiving sincerity and genuineness in others. By paying attention to how our bodies respond during interactions, we can often discern whether someone is being authentic. Here’s how this works and why it’s important to heal our own perceptions to truly understand others.

How Our Bodies Signal Authenticity

When we interact with sincere and genuine people, our bodies often provide subtle signals that can guide us. These signals might include:

Feeling Relaxed: Genuine individuals create an atmosphere where we feel at ease. Our muscles relax, our breathing becomes steady, and we feel a sense of calm.

Reduced Anxiety: When someone is authentic, we don’t have to constantly second-guess their intentions. This reduces our anxiety and allows us to be more present and open.

Trusting Intuition: Our gut feelings or intuition often kick in when we are around genuine people. This inner sense of trust and safety is a powerful indicator of authenticity.

The Importance of Healing Our Perceptions

While our feelings can be reliable indicators of others' authenticity, it’s crucial to recognize that our perceptions can sometimes be distorted by our own wounds and past experiences. Healing ourselves is essential to ensure that we see others clearly.

Common Distorted Perceptions

Projection: We might project our own insecurities and fears onto others, seeing them as less trustworthy than they are.

Mistrust from Past Hurts: Past betrayals and disappointments can make us overly cautious and skeptical, even towards genuine people.

Emotional Triggers: Certain behaviors or words might trigger unresolved emotions from our past, skewing our perception of the present situation.

Steps to Heal and Clear Our Perceptions

Self-Awareness: Recognize when your past experiences are influencing your current perceptions. Journaling or talking to a therapist can help identify these patterns.

Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness or meditation to stay present and observe your reactions without judgment. This helps in differentiating between genuine feelings and those arising from past wounds.

Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you navigate through your healing process. Understand that it's normal to have distorted perceptions and that healing is a journey.

Therapy and Support: Professional therapy can provide tools and strategies to heal from past traumas and develop healthier ways of relating to others.

Healthy Boundaries: Learning to set and respect healthy boundaries can protect you from being hurt again, while still allowing you to trust and open up to others.

Benefits of Healing Ourselves

By healing our own wounds, we can approach relationships with a clearer, more balanced perspective. This allows us to:

Trust Our Feelings More Accurately: With fewer distortions, our gut feelings and bodily responses become more reliable indicators of others' authenticity.

Build Stronger Relationships: We can form deeper, more meaningful connections based on genuine trust and understanding.

Enhance Personal Well-being: Reducing the stress and anxiety that come from mistrust and distorted perceptions improves our overall mental and emotional health.

Final Thoughts...

It's essential to note everyone is on a journey toward authenticity, and occasional inconsistencies are part of being human. Recognizing this can help us approach others with empathy and understanding. Giving chances and engaging in open communication about these inconsistencies can strengthen relationships and promote mutual growth. By embracing our shared humanity, we can build deeper, more authentic connections with those around us.

Trusting our feelings is a powerful way to perceive sincerity and genuineness in others. However, it’s equally important to heal our own wounds to ensure our perceptions are accurate. By becoming aware of and addressing our distorted perceptions, we can enjoy more authentic and fulfilling relationships, enhancing our overall well-being and happiness.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

​The fear of being alone can manifest in various forms, affecting individuals' mental and emotional well-being. Whether it's a reluctance to spend time in solitude or an overwhelming fear of isolation, this fear can have profound implications on one's quality of life and relationships. What are the underlying causes of this fear, and what are the solutions for overcoming it? 

Understanding the Fear of Being Alone 

Attachment Issues: 
At the core of the fear of being alone often lie attachment issues rooted in childhood experiences. Those who experienced inconsistent caregiving or neglect may develop insecure attachment styles, leading to a deep-seated fear of abandonment or rejection. This fear can persist into adulthood, influencing relationships and behaviors.

Low Self-Esteem: 
Those with low self-esteem may rely heavily on external validation and social interactions to feel worthy or accepted. The prospect of being alone can trigger feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness, driving a constant need for companionship and reassurance from others.

Anxiety Disorders: 
Anxiety disorders are mental health conditions that can cause excessive and persistent feelings of fear, worry, and anxiety. These conditions can significantly interfere with an individual's daily life, affecting their performance at school or work, relationships, and overall well-being. It's essential to seek professional help if you suspect that you or someone you know may have an anxiety disorder. It can intensify fears of being alone. The thought of being by oneself may cause intense feelings of anxiety, causing an individual to avoid solitude or constantly seek distractions to ease their discomfort.

Past Trauma: 
Past experiences of loneliness, trauma, or abandonment can leave lasting emotional scars, making it challenging for someone to be comfortable with solitude. The prospect of being alone may evoke painful memories or feelings of vulnerability, prompting a fear of experiencing similar pain or isolation.

Cultural Influences: 
Societal pressures and cultural norms prioritizing social connections and validation can contribute to the fear of being alone. The pervasive belief that happiness and fulfillment are synonymous with social acceptance may fuel anxieties about solitude and isolation. 

Depression: 
Depression can distort perceptions of self-worth and amplify feelings of loneliness. Those struggling with depression may find it challenging to enjoy solitary activities or derive satisfaction from their own company, further reinforcing their fear of being alone. 

Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone 

Therapy: 
An excellent beginning to overcoming the fear of being alone could be therapy, particularly approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or attachment-based therapy. Spiritual counseling or coaching can also be excellent tools. These approaches can help one explore the root causes of their fear of being alone and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Through various therapies, individuals can challenge negative thought patterns, build self-esteem, and cultivate greater self-reliance. 

Self-Reflection: 
Engaging in reflective practices, such as journaling or meditation, can provide valuable insights into one's fears and insecurities. Exploring underlying emotions and triggers can help individuals better understand their fear of being alone, leading to healing and self-discovery.

Building Healthy Relationships: 
Fostering meaningful connections with others based on mutual respect and support can help alleviate fears of being alone. People can cultivate a feeling of belonging and community by taking part in group activities and forming strong bonds with compassionate and empathetic friends. This can also offer a sense of security that lessens their dependence on constant social engagement.

Developing Independence: 
Learning to enjoy solitude and engage in fulfilling activities alone can empower people to overcome their fear of being alone. Individuals can cultivate a strong sense of self-reliance and resilience by pursuing hobbies, interests, and self-care practices independently. 

Exploring Self-Understanding 

QHHT Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique (QHHT) is a holistic healing modality that combines hypnosis and past-life regression to explore the subconscious mind and facilitate deep self-understanding. During a QHHT session, one enters a state of deep relaxation that allows them to access memories and emotions beyond their conscious awareness.

In the realm of the fear of being alone, a QHHT session may help you uncover underlying traumas or unresolved issues contributing to your fear. By delving into past experiences or subconscious beliefs, you can gain clarity and perspective on the origins of your fear and begin the process of healing. 

Through QHHT, you can also access inner resources and strengths to overcome  fear of being alone. By connecting with your higher self or spiritual guidance, you can receive advice, suggestions and support to navigate your fears and embrace solitude as an opportunity for growth. 

In conclusion, the fear of being alone is a multifaceted issue influenced by various factors, including attachment patterns, self-esteem, and past experiences. By tackling these root causes and exploring holistic healing methods like QHHT, individuals can begin a journey of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment, ultimately achieving inner peace and fulfillment.


In love and truth,
Lori Llines

By Lori Lines

​Human interactions are curious. It's one aspect that I find fascinating, and it's why I began as an armchair observer of human behavior ever since I was a child and how those behaviors drive relationship dynamics. 

Clashes of perspectives are inevitable. When someone reveals an aspect of their true self that doesn't align with our beliefs or values, the knee-jerk reaction might be to demonize them. However, delving deeper into this instinctive response unveils a more profound opportunity for self-reflection. Rather than hastily vilify others, we can use this moment to question what they might be mirroring within ourselves.

Understanding Different Wavelengths of Consciousness

It is imperative to recognize that individuals operate on diverse wavelengths of consciousness. Each person is on their unique journey of self-discovery, influenced by their experiences, beliefs, and values. It is crucial not to hastily judge or demonize someone simply because their truth doesn't resonate with our own. Instead, I suggest conserving energy and acknowledging the differences, fostering an understanding that others are on a different wavelength.

Relying on Direct Experiences

To prevent demonizing individuals, it is advisable to rely on our direct experiences rather than hearsay. What others say is often influenced by their experiences and perspectives, which may not necessarily align with ours. By relying on our own firsthand experiences, we can develop a more authentic understanding of a person's actions and intentions within our interactions with them.

Observation Mode and Neutrality

The mindfulness approach advocates detaching oneself and entering observation mode when faced with conflicting perspectives. This detachment allows for a more objective assessment of the situation without negative judgment or immediate condemnation. By remaining neutral, one can gain insight into the motivations and perspectives of others without being clouded by preconceived notions.

Loving from a Distance

Those who consider themselves evolved souls can adopt the idea of loving others from a distance. This concept suggests that even when faced with conflicting ideologies, one can cultivate compassion and understanding without becoming entangled in negativity. This approach preserves one's emotional well-being and fosters an environment where personal growth can flourish.

The Disempowering Nature of Villainization

Finally, let's underscore the disempowering consequences of villainizing others. We relinquish control over our emotions and reactions when we paint someone as the villain in our narrative. By recognizing the opportunity for self-reflection instead of demonization, we empower ourselves to grow and evolve beyond knee-jerk judgments. And, when we do this, we are refraining from spreading negativity or adding to another's negativity.

Final Thoughts...

In a world of diverse perspectives, the knee-jerk reaction to demonize others can hinder personal growth and understanding. I'm suggesting that rather than succumbing to this instinct, one can use such moments as an opportunity for self-reflection. By acknowledging different wavelengths of consciousness, relying on direct experiences, adopting observation mode and neutrality, and even loving from a distance, we can break free from the disempowering cycle of demonization and cultivate a more compassionate and enlightened approach to interpersonal relationships. After all, wouldn't you want to be treated the same way?

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

​Anger is a powerful emotion that has both positive and negative effects. On one hand, it can provide satisfaction and justice when we feel wronged. On the other hand, it can also lead to feelings of resentment and blame, which can damage our relationships and well-being. Anger is a double-edged sword that needs to be wielded with care and awareness, as it can ignite positive change or consume us with negative emotions.

Consider this scenario: an individual feels overlooked at work despite their unwavering dedication and effort. Instead of introspection, they find solace in assigning blame to colleagues or superiors, fostering a cycle of bitterness and victimization. This pattern shields them from self-reflection and perpetuates a cycle of projecting their unresolved emotions onto others.

Lightworkers as Targets

In recent times, there's been a notable trend of light workers—those dedicated to spiritual growth, positivity, and healing—finding themselves as targets for individuals mired in anger. This phenomenon reflects a complex interplay of emotions and contrasting personal growth paths.

Lightworkers embody values of love, compassion, and understanding, which can sometimes clash with the entrenched narratives of anger and victimhood. Their very existence challenges the worldview of those deeply ingrained in these patterns, prompting defensive reactions and projecting unresolved emotions onto them.

Imagine a scenario where a light worker advocates for self-reflection and accountability. For someone entrenched in anger addiction, this guidance may feel like an insult to their coping mechanisms, leading them to lash out in discomfort. Moreover, the advocacy for healing and growth can serve as a trigger for those who have not yet confronted their wounds, eliciting hostility instead of acceptance.

Resistance to the path of light work often stems from its demands for inner transformation. Instead of embracing this journey, some direct their anger toward those who symbolize qualities they find challenging to integrate into their lives. This trend underscores the importance of empathy and understanding from both sides of the spectrum.

For lightworkers, navigating interactions with compassion is crucial, recognizing that the anger directed at them often stems from deep-seated issues within the other person. Conversely, individuals struggling with excessive anger can benefit from acknowledging their discomfort with positivity as an opportunity for self-exploration and growth.

At its core, the allure of anger lies in its ability to shield us from uncomfortable truths, perpetuating a cycle of blame and avoidance. Yet, delving into the psychology of rage reveals its roots in past experiences and unresolved trauma. By reframing anger as a messenger signaling unmet needs and unresolved issues, we embark on a path of discovering ourselves.

Breaking free from the addiction to anger involves embracing vulnerability and cultivating self-awareness. It's a process of shifting our perspective, viewing anger not as an enemy but as a guide toward personal growth and harmonious relationships. As we unravel the complexities of our emotions, we pave the way for a more conscious, compassionate, and fulfilling life.

In love and truth, 
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

​In our society, strength and resilience are often highly valued. However, the fear of vulnerability, which can lead people to hide their true selves and present a false image, is a significant issue. This instinct for self-preservation can have detrimental effects, both personally and socially, such as fostering a sense of disconnection and isolation.

At its core, the fear of vulnerability stems from a deep-seated apprehension of being judged, rejected, or hurt. It's a primal instinct to shield oneself from potential harm, whether emotional or psychological. However, when this fear takes hold, it can manifest in various ways, ultimately leading us to present a version of ourselves that is not entirely genuine. 

One of the most common ways the fear of vulnerability manifests is by suppressing emotions. Rather than expressing our true feelings, we may bury them deep down, putting on a brave face even when they struggle internally. This can create a disconnection between oneself and others, leading to loneliness and isolation. 

Furthermore, the fear of vulnerability can lead to a reluctance to ask for help or support when needed. Instead of reaching out to others for assistance, we may go alone, fearing that exposing our vulnerabilities will make us appear weak or incompetent. This can result in negative consequences such as missed personal growth opportunities and strained relationships.

Inauthenticity born out of the fear of vulnerability can also have far-reaching consequences in the workplace. Employees may feel pressured to conform to a particular image of success, suppressing aspects of their true selves to fit in with corporate culture or meet unrealistic expectations. This can lead to burnout, resentment, and disillusionment, ultimately impacting individual well-being and organizational productivity. 

We must change how we perceive vulnerability to overcome the fear of vulnerability and embrace authenticity. We need to understand that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. When we are open and honest about our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, we create an opportunity for genuine connection and understanding with others.

Practicing self-compassion is an effective way to conquer the fear of being vulnerable. This means being kind and understanding towards ourselves, especially during difficult emotions or situations. By creating a supportive network of friends, family, and colleagues, we can cultivate a safe space to express our vulnerabilities and let go of the need to pretend to be someone we're not.

Ultimately, embracing vulnerability is a courageous act that requires self-awareness and self-acceptance. By acknowledging and honoring our vulnerabilities, we free ourselves from the burden of inauthenticity and pave the way for deeper connections, greater empathy, and authentic fulfillment in our lives.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

​Maintaining a healthy balance between personal well-being and external influences can be challenging today. The concept of energetic boundaries offers a powerful tool to navigate this complexity, enabling us to safeguard our emotional, mental, and physical health. 

Why Create Energetic Boundaries?

Protecting Your Energy:
Energetic boundaries act as a shield, protecting your energy from external influences. Just as we set physical boundaries to guard our personal space, creating energetic boundaries helps filter out negative energies, emotions, and stressors that can otherwise impact our mental and emotional state.

Preserving Emotional Well-being:
Emotions are like viruses that can quickly spread from person to person. Setting boundaries is vital to prevent other people's emotions from taking over your own. This is particularly important in situations where stress, anxiety, or negativity are commonplace. By creating a barrier between themselves and the energy surrounding them, people can maintain control over their emotional state.

Enhancing Mental Clarity:
A cluttered mind can impede decision-making and overall mental clarity. Energetic boundaries help filter unnecessary noise and distractions, allowing for better focus and concentration. In turn, this promotes a mental state that is both positive and productive.

Building Healthy Relationships:
Establishing boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships as it creates a framework of mutual respect and understanding. This framework ensures that relationships are built on authenticity and shared values and are free from external influences.

Practical Ways to Create Energetic Boundaries:

Mindfulness and Self-awareness:
Begin by cultivating mindfulness and self-awareness. Regularly check in with your emotions and energy levels. Understand what influences your mood and be conscious of the people, environments, or activities that drain or uplift your energy.

Visualization Techniques:
Engage in visualization exercises to create a protective energy shield around yourself. Imagine a bubble of light or a force field surrounding you, repelling negative energy while allowing positive energy to flow freely. Regularly reinforce this visualization to strengthen your energetic boundaries.

Set Clear Intentions:
Clearly articulate your intentions for maintaining energetic boundaries. Whether protecting your energy during a challenging meeting or establishing limits with a particular person, set clear intentions to guide your energy in the desired direction.

Practice Saying No:
Learn to say no when necessary. Setting boundaries involves asserting yourself and recognizing your limits. Politely but firmly decline activities or engagements you know will compromise your well-being.

Create Physical Boundaries:
It's important to use physical symbols to reinforce your energetic boundaries, such as wearing jewelry with personal significance, carrying a specific item, or having a designated space as your energetic sanctuary.

Energy-Clearing Practices:
Engage in activities promoting energy clearings, such as meditation, yoga, or leisure time in nature. These practices help release accumulated stress and negative energy, making establishing and maintaining healthy, energetic boundaries easier.

Final Thoughts...

Creating energetic boundaries is an empowering journey toward self-care and well-being. By prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical wellness, you can enhance your quality of life and positively impact your relationships and environments. Implementing these practical strategies can guide you in establishing and maintaining solid and energetic boundaries, allowing you to navigate life with greater resilience and authenticity.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

In a world often marred by stress, conflict, and negativity, the concept of unconditional love stands out as a beacon of hope and transformation. Beyond its traditional association with personal relationships, unconditional love has the profound ability to permeate and elevate not only individuals but also the collective consciousness. By embodying and projecting unconditional love to others, a fascinating phenomenon unfolds—the increase of vibrational frequency. So, how can love create positive change?


Understanding Vibrational Frequency

At its core, the idea of vibrational frequency refers to the energy emitted by everything in the universe, including our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Science has shown that these frequencies are not static; they can be influenced and altered by external factors. This is where the concept of unconditional love comes into play. When we emit and express love without conditions or expectations, we transfer a powerful and positive vibrational frequency that has the potential to impact those around us.

The Ripple Effect of Unconditional Love

Imagine a serene pond, its surface undisturbed. Now, drop a single pebble into the water. As the ripples expand outward, they reach every corner of the pond, transforming its stillness into a succession of interconnected waves. Similarly, when we embody and project unconditional love, we become the pebble that sets off transformative ripples in the energy field around us.

Let's consider an example to illustrate this concept

Meet Sarah, a dedicated teacher working in a bustling city. Sarah approaches her students with unwavering love, accepting each child for who they are and encouraging their unique qualities. This isn't just about classroom management; it's about creating an environment where unconditional love is the foundation of learning. As Sarah consistently embodies and projects this love, something remarkable happens.

The students in Sarah's class begin to respond positively. They feel safe, supported, and valued. As a result, their own vibrational frequencies start to shift. They become more open-minded, compassionate, and cooperative. This change is not confined to the classroom; it extends to their interactions with family, friends, and the broader community.

The Greater the Love, the Greater the Change

Now, let's return to the initial premise: the more unconditional love, the greater the change. In Sarah's case, her commitment to unconditional love creates a domino effect. The positive vibrational frequency spreads beyond the confines of her classroom, influencing the school environment, the families connected to her students, and eventually, the community at large.

Final Thoughts...

Unconditional love isn't just a lofty ideal; it's a catalyst for positive change with far-reaching effects. By understanding and harnessing the transformative power of unconditional love, we can contribute to a collective shift in vibrational frequency. Like the ripples in a pond, our actions and intentions can create a harmonious dance of positivity, touching the lives of those around us and ultimately cultivating a compassionate and connected world. So, let's strive to be the pebble that makes a positive impact, one ripple of unconditional love at a time.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

In a world inundated with news of wars, setbacks, and an endless stream of doom and gloom, it's easy to become entrapped in a cycle of negativity that permeates our thoughts and emotions. However, the age-old adage, "What we think, believe, and emote creates our reality," invites us to question whether the external chaos truly defines our personal experience of reality. So, I wanted to talk about the concept that our perceptions shape the world we live in and how a conscious shift in mindset can transform how we live our lives.

Beyond the Illusion:

The bombardment of information from mainstream and alternate news sources often paints a picture of a world steeped in duality — a constant struggle between good and evil, positive and negative. While acknowledging the existence of hardships and challenges faced by others globally, the question arises: does this constitute your immediate reality? The answer may lie in recognizing that our perception of reality is a subjective construct, influenced by our thoughts and beliefs.

The Pollyanna Paradox:

Some may dismiss the idea of consciously shaping one's reality as mere Pollyanna optimism, a refusal to acknowledge the harsh truths that surround us. However, the essence of this perspective lies in understanding the power of our vibrations — the energetic frequencies emitted by our thoughts and emotions. By choosing to focus on positivity and gratitude in our immediate surroundings, we may elevate our vibrations above the discordant frequencies of negativity, creating a different, more harmonious reality.

The Duality Trap:

Continuous immersion in news cycles, filled with tales of strife and discord, can contribute to the manifestation of a reality characterized by duality. The constant influx of information can shape our beliefs and emotions, leading to a state of perpetual tension and anxiety. It becomes imperative to question whether such a reality is a result of external circumstances or a product of our own mental and emotional engagement with the world. Loosening our grip on the duality trap may be just what we need to do.

Rising Above:

To manifest at warp speed, as some believe, requires a deliberate shift in focus. Turning off the news and stepping away from the doom and gloom narratives might seem like a radical step, but it's a crucial one in reclaiming the power to shape our own reality. By disengaging from the fear-inducing information, we create space for a more positive, fulfilling existence as we focus on the present moment in our lives.

Life as a Continuous Transformation:

The assertion that "we do not die, we only transform into another reality" invites contemplation on the nature of life and death. Fear of death, it seems, is the only catalyst for the experience of it. Embracing the idea that life is a continuous cycle of transformation encourages us to live in the present, unburdened by the anxieties of an uncertain future.

Looking Beyond the Illusion While Serving Others Amidst Duality

While the concept of shaping our own reality emphasizes personal empowerment, it's crucial to acknowledge the interconnected nature of our existence. As we rise above the illusion of duality, a natural inclination arises to be of service to those still mired in the throes of hardship and negativity. Here are some ways in which we can extend a helping hand to those experiencing the challenges of a dualistic reality if they will allow:

Empathy and Compassion:
Cultivating empathy and compassion is the first step to being of service. By understanding the struggles of others without judgment, we create a space for genuine connection. This emotional resonance lays the foundation for meaningful support.

Active Listening:
Often, those trapped in the cycle of duality may yearn for someone to hear their story. Being an active listener, without interjecting judgments or solutions, provides a valuable opportunity for them to express themselves and feel acknowledged.

Offering Perspective:
While encouraging a shift in perspective, it's essential to do so with sensitivity and respect. Share personal experiences or stories of hope and resilience that may inspire by providing a different outlook on challenging situations.

Practical Assistance:
Acts of kindness and practical assistance can go a long way in alleviating the burdens of those facing hardships. Whether it's offering a helping hand with daily tasks, providing resources, or volunteering time, these actions contribute to creating a more supportive and compassionate community.

Encouraging Mindfulness Practices:
Introducing mindfulness practices to individuals entrenched in duality can be transformative. Techniques such as meditation and mindfulness help cultivate inner peace and mental spaciousness, enabling them to navigate challenges with a clearer mindset.

Educating on Empowerment:
Empowering others with knowledge about the power of thoughts and emotions can be a powerful tool for personal transformation. Share insights on how one's mindset can shape their reality and provide resources for self-improvement and personal development.

Creating Support Networks:
Establishing or contributing to support networks within communities can foster a sense of belonging and shared responsibility. Collective efforts can amplify the impact of individual acts of service, creating a more robust foundation for positive change.

Promoting Acts of Kindness:
Encourage a ripple effect of kindness by fostering a culture of giving. Simple acts of kindness, whether big or small, can create a positive momentum that extends far beyond individual interactions, contributing to a more harmonious collective experience.

By combining personal empowerment with a commitment to serving others, we create a synergistic approach to navigating the complexities of a dualistic reality. As we lift ourselves above the illusion while creating our own reality, extending a helping hand to those in need becomes not only an act of service but also a testament to the transformative power of collective compassion and interconnectedness.

Final thoughts...

In a world inundated with information, the power to shape our reality lies within the realm of our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. While global challenges and conflicts may persist, the invitation is to rise above the chaos, disconnect from the narratives of doom and gloom, and consciously manifest a reality that aligns with our highest aspirations. By understanding the transformative nature of life and embracing the concept that we are the architects of our own existence, we can navigate the complexities of the world with a sense of purpose, positivity, and resilience.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

Your voice, tender and inviting,
In matters of love, clichés are known, no denying.
Yet here, a novelty, a fervor,
I can't set aside,
After that wave engulfed me, turning the tide,

After the struggle to emerge, to breathe,
In the calm that followed, I did perceive,
My own reflection, like an island, so clear,
In the boundless water, my solitude drew near.
With the next wave's embrace,
I understood, Regrets.

Though a subsequent wave may have me misunderstood,
For am I concussed or in self-deceit, I've stood?
I find no reason to rue the past's bitter lore,
No room for regrets now, or evermore.

What weighs so heavy, you cannot foresee,
A future to redeem, a heart set free,
Settle it today, release the binding chain,
Freedom to embrace, not from but to gain.

In this moment, regret should find no place,
For gravity draws two souls to embrace,
From distant corners, they converge, and unite,
In the cosmic depths, their stars ignite.

No regrets linger, no burden to bear,
Every cell alive, a thrill in the air,
An anticipation, yet undefined,
The purpose unknown, the path unlined.

Do you sense it too, this stirring inside,
​A journey unfolding, where hearts collide?

© Lori Lines, 2015

Dark Night of the Soul Poem

By Lori Lines

The Illusion of Competition & How It's A 3D Construct

The Fallacy of Competition
“There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition!” “He’s so competitive. He’s a bad loser.” The consensus is that healthy competition should be encouraged as motivational and character-building. In contrast, unhealthy competition should be discouraged as unbecoming, maladaptive, and detrimental. This perspective is a result of conditioning. From a young age, birth, in fact, we are compared to our peers. Parents in the pediatrician’s waiting room or the online chat room proudly declare that their baby is hitting milestones ahead of time. “Timmy said mama and dada by 10 months.” “Sarah is crawling at 7 months.”

Throughout our academic years and professional lives, we are taught that a competitive edge is a hallmark of motivation, determination, and ultimate success. However, a competitive drive that causes stress, obsession, rage, “unsportsmanlike” behavior, and social alienation is deemed a step too far. However, this line is arbitrarily drawn; what may be too far to some could be perfectly acceptable to others.

The arbitrary distinction of how much competition is too much speaks to a hidden, fundamental truth. While most deem competition unhealthy once it affects our physical or mental health, no degree of comparison and competition nourishes or even serves the soul. Regarding spiritual health, all comparison is unhealthy and digresses from our higher path.

All Competition is Comparative
When we compare ourselves to others, by default, we deviate from our individual karmic journey and start following a path that was intended for someone else. We lose sight of the lessons we are meant to learn, the healing we are meant to achieve, and the goals we are meant to accomplish. On a path never intended for us, we become lost, hopeless, and inutile, compromising our personal truth and integrity and failing to realize ourselves or our purpose. You can never win when trying to meet someone else’s benchmarks!

“Your only competition is yourself.” This is another fallacy that is perpetuated by society. There are two directions that self-comparison can take, past or future. It is common to compare oneself to who one once was. This perspective measures achievement based on how different we are from who we once were. The trouble with this perspective is that it can be limiting. If we are always looking back at how far we have come, we tether ourselves to the past and curtail how far we can actually go. 

Conversely, there are also pitfalls to comparing oneself to whom we could become. When we compete with who we believe we are meant to become, we risk crushing our spirit under the weight of life’s “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts.” This can lead to feelings of despair, shame, apathy, anxiety, and depression. Comparison with one’s future self can also lead to a mad dash past important milestones, lessons, and healing opportunities in a rush to meet this future ideal.
 
All competition, be it with oneself or someone else, is comparative. Comparison in any form creates limitations by locking our personhood into a preconceived ideal, denying us the infinite potential of our Divine birthright. The bottom line is, if anything is possible, then why aspire to a prefabricated construct?

The Limitations of a 3D Construct
Before one begins the process of ascension, 3rd Dimensional constructs are accepted as truths. As we elevate into the 4th and 5th Dimensions, we begin to see these “truths” for the fallacies they are. Concepts fundamental to competition, such as otherness (me versus you and us versus them), inherent unworthiness, and being incomplete, are uncovered as the illusions they are upheld by conditioning.
 
In the 5th Dimension, we are complete. We rise to merge with our higher selves; as we rise, our souls integrate. We awaken to the ultimate truth that we enter this world complete and leave this world complete. We lack nothing, and the process of actualization serves not to add to who we are but to release anything that obscures our true selves. As complete beings, there is no need to compare oneself to another because we are exactly as the Divine intends, negating competition altogether.

When we understand how this completion unites oneself with the collective, it further negates the conditioned response to compare.  In the 5th Dimension, while we are celebrated for our individual gifts, we are united with the collective in harmony and love. When one learns, the collective learns; when one heals, the collective heals; And the higher one ascends, the greater the collective ascends. There is no need for comparison because each soul has its own gifts that contribute to the greatest good and highest purpose of the collective.

Revealing the Illusion of Competition
Ultimately, competition is not some benign construct that can become malignant. It is in itself a spiritual sickness that closes our eyes to the capitalist-driven, socially and politically divisive, alienating otherness of the 3D. If we remain distracted by the pride of being better than our colleagues and the shame of being worse than our neighbors, we turn a blind eye to the conditioning that upholds the fallacies and façades of the 3rd Dimension. It is busy work in the face of the solemn undertaking of collective awakening, healing, and ascension, keeping us at odds with each other and ourselves.  Essentially, we cannot ascend when we are divided within ourselves or living divisively from others. The path to the 4th and 5th Dimension is one of soulful integration and loving unity, making competition and awakening diametrically opposed.
 
To those who are awake, competition does not exist, not even within, because we know that as we merge with our higher selves, our best selves, we are nothing short of Divine. Fundamentally, no one can walk anyone else’s path, undertake anyone else’s healing, learn anyone else’s lessons, or become who someone else is meant to be. Yet, we are all connected, and we are all one; The Divine exists equally, impartially, yet non-comparatively in each and every one of us. 

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines
​

By Lori Lines

In today’s mass media culture, we are often flooded by a current of opinions, reflections, and perspectives. Go on any social media platform right now, and your feed will be awash with the statuses of celebrities, politicians, friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances far removed, like your brother’s high school girlfriend or someone in your spouse’s softball league; Do you genuinely need their political opinion?
 
Many, if not most, of these opinions or responses could be left unsaid. Still, once they are presented to the masses, they will surely offend someone. And, inevitably, someone’s offense will offend someone else. Then, the original poster may apologize, and either someone will find an issue with the tone of the apology or the motivation to apologize in the first place.

Don’t Take it Personally
People tend to take it personally when they see or hear something offensive. People will say, “that is offensive!” But what they feel is, “you have offended me!” They confuse their personal feelings with the feeling of being personally targeted. When the truth is, it is rarely personal. 

We’ve begun with social media as an example—such as the off-the-cuff quip about a foolish politician. It is easier, at least for some, to take a step back and realize that despite feeling personally offended, the comment was not personal. Yet, what of the family member who reacts to your disinterest in having children by saying, “no family is complete without kids,” or the co-worker who assumes that “you don’t mind filling in for me because it’s not like anyone needs you”? These instances could be a little harder to distance oneself from. However, the family member may be unconsciously voicing their desire for children. Or the co-worker could be envisioning what it would be like if they had no children. 

Be the Observer
To see things as they are, as opposed to how your ego, trauma, or conditioning has framed them, is to question the underlying intention of the offensive behavior, speech, or situation. Depending on your approach, it can be a fascinating exploration, like reflecting on a piece of artwork; Why did the artist use that color, put the brush stroke there, or paint that person or object? In other words, why did that person say those words, use that tone, choose that action, or express those emotions? When you look at an “offense” as something outside of yourself, it is easier to observe it objectively and create distance from it emotionally.
 
When observing the offense instead of internalizing it, you can see beyond the ego mask and witness someone’s wounds and trauma. Take, for instance, the friend that has nothing good to say about your partner, “you shouldn’t trust him,” “he isn’t good for you,” or “he’s going to let you down”; instead of being offended, imagine how she must have been let down by her partners or possibly family or friends, that would cause her to say such disheartening things. With enough consciousness and willingness, you will soon see how offensive behaviors and comments often call for a generous dose of love and compassion!

Rise Above or Go Under
People who cannot override their trauma, ego, or conditioning remain easily offended. When we are easily offended, we get stuck in a vicious cycle of offense after offense until we program ourselves to seek reasons to be offended. Moving through life in a perpetual state of frustration, anger, hurt, disappointment, and angst won’t make unpleasant people, offensive words, or rude behavior any less likely or less objectionable; It will only lower your vibration, pollute your thoughts, and destabilize your emotions.
 
Worse still, people who get stuck in the victim stance end up forfeiting their power and sovereign authority. They identify as victims and view themselves as vulnerable, helpless, and doomed. So, what is the solution? The only way out of this cycle is to look within.

Never Stop Questioning
An impersonal perspective towards being offended helps us see that these offenses are where wounds are, whether they belong to the “offender” or the “offended.” When we witness the pain of others, we can cast the light of love and compassion on them. When we acknowledge our own trauma, we must reclaim our power and accountability. The first step is to ask what is being revealed, what needs to be recognized, and what requires healing.

To question creates possibility; to remain offended is limiting, pulling down your mood, vibration, and perspective until you are trapped in a prison of your own creation. You instantly lift your temperament, raise your vibration, and gain a higher, more objective perspective when you are willing to ask the right questions. Such as how I can show this person or myself more love, embrace forgiveness, and find the acceptance to move on.

The Most Important Questions
Ask yourself what this world would look like if nothing offended anyone. People who were intentionally distasteful or rude would get no response to fuel their behavior and instead be forced to examine their actions. Everyone else would enjoy a world of conscious thought, healing discourse, harmony, and compassion.
​
Of course, each of us must do our part to create a world of love, unity, and peace. It begins the next time you feel offended; ask yourself a crucial question, how can you make the world a better place by choosing to see the world as a better place?

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

Are you an Empath?
Do you:
Pick up on other people’s moods and emotions? Whether you can observe the slightest change in their disposition or get the sense that you absorb their emotional state and take it on as your own.

Lose yourself in your relationship with someone else? This may be by trying to “heal” or take care of them, appease them, or “strengthen” the bond your share.
Experience sudden shifts of emotion or panic when you are in public? Such as window shopping with friends in a mall and suddenly experiencing a dizzying urge to run as far away as possible.

Get told that you really “get” people or have a profoundly comforting energy? You may be the one everyone turns to for advice or the shoulder everyone cries on.

Suffer physical or emotional sympathy pains for loved ones and strangers alike? For example, experiencing painful jabs watching violence on tv or shedding a tear at a loved one’s sadness.
 
Get strong hunches or vibes about people? You may know immediately if someone is lying, genuine, or afraid. Or have you experienced an instant distaste or affection for someone you just met?

Feel love for people or pets so deeply it hurts? Perhaps you have felt love for someone or something that you think can’t be contained in your heart and experienced the ache of its expansiveness.

Have the urge to help and heal every person and animal in need? Perhaps, you get overwhelmed that you can’t do more or by the healing mission you feel you have received.
 
While this isn’t an exhaustive list, if you answered yes to most or all these points, you are very likely an empath!

What is an Empath?
Surely, you have heard the term empath before, especially if you are one. However, much like “energy,” “grounding,” or “manifestation,” empath has become a term that is widely used but not always well understood. A derivative of empathy, being an empath is often viewed very favorably, like a superpower. However, when the term was coined, it was synonymous with being an “emotional sponge,” hinting at the many pitfalls of being an empath.

Empathic abilities can result from, and contribute to, a porous energy field. So, while it can be viewed as the gift of emotional intuition, helping empaths navigate and heal, in some cases, the world, it can also create a self-perpetuating cycle of poor energetic and relational boundaries, leaving empaths vulnerable to the people they often so desperately want to comfort and heal. 

Empaths have a gift; It is the gift of reading people and their emotions to intuitively understand others’ intentions, strengths, and weaknesses. This enables them to navigate the world with an inner knowing that can be used to their benefit. They can also identify the wounded and vulnerable, providing comfort and love as the empath feels called. 

Do you know who else has an intuitive understanding of others’ intentions, emotions, strengths, and weaknesses, enabling them to navigate the world with an inner knowing that can be used to their own benefit? Narcissists! They can also identify the wounded and vulnerable, but with disparate results.
 
What Is a Narcissist?
We’ve all encountered or perhaps gotten up close and personal with a narcissist by dating, being related to, or possibly working with them. Narcissists can be identified by:

Their over-inflated sense of importance. Such as the aunt who is “exhausted” from doing “everything” for the family during the holidays but wouldn’t have it any other way. Or the friend who monopolizes the conversation every Brunch Sunday.

A sense of entitlement. Like, the co-worker who feels childless people should give them their sick days or the parent who feels you should drop everything because they need you “now.”

The belief that the rules don’t apply to them. For example, the arrogant jerk at the grocery store who thinks he can just cut in the line.

An obsession with envy and admiration. These are the people that think everyone is jealous of them and want to be like them. For instance, the social media addict who obsesses over followers, “stalkers,” likes, “haters,” and “wannabes.”

Their preoccupation with success, influence, youth, beauty, and adoration. These people fight aging tooth and nail, put on airs about their financial success and power, and often act very out of touch with the “everyman.”

Their lack of compassion, empathy, and genuine connections. This is often due to exploiting people and having shallow, self-centered conversations. These people tend to explain their lack of meaningful relationships by emphasizing their high status or distinction because they are only understood by a select and chosen few.

The benefits of moving through the world from the narcissistic perspective are that they always prioritize and meet their own needs, never shrink from the spotlight because they feel lesser than others, and don’t relegate themselves to the masses. They make their own way!

Two Sides of the Same Coin
We may think it is easy to point out and separate narcissists from empaths. However, it is not so clear-cut. Being empathic, like being narcissistic, exists on a spectrum. We can all be somewhat selfish at times and empathetic at others. What’s more, sometimes being an empath is a matter of unhealthy coping, such as a trauma response, and being narcissistic is a matter of healthy coping, such as eschewing social norms for individual freedom and happiness. There is no clear villain and victim, villain and victor, or victim and victor. The unenlightened empath and the unenlightened narcissist form a toxic cycle in which they both exploit and enable. Take this scenario, for example:

• An unconscious empath is born of a traumatic childhood and identifies with learned helplessness and perpetual victimization. They have a fear of taking accountability for their outcomes and being rejected. 

• A narcissist who also bears the scars of trauma and identifies with a me-against-the-world and everyone-is-out-to-get-me perspective has a fear of being abandoned and robbed of control.

• When these two people meet, they find completion! Albeit a toxic form of completion...

• The empath has someone, the narcissist, whom they can hold accountable for their outcomes and won’t leave as long as the empath gives “unconditional love” and forfeits control.

 

• The narcissist has someone, the empath, who will let them take control and won’t leave as long as the narcissist “accepts and approves” of them. 

In this scenario, who is exploiting whom? The truth is that they are both exploiting each other and harming themselves by feeding into this vicious cycle propelled by triggers and trauma responses.

The Power Lies Within
The solution? Stop giving power away to others! When giving away the power to heal or wound, we immediately feed into a cycle of victim and abuser or used and user. In this context, there is no differentiation between “empath” and “narcissist.” Both individuals have unconsciously voided all boundaries of personhood and accountability. 

We all have the potential to abuse or be abused, no matter what end of the spectrum we are on. The only way to eliminate the potential for abuse is to become aware and make conscious personal choices. We cannot force anyone to change; we can only choose to strengthen our integrity and manifest our intentions, no one else’s. Ultimately, when we awaken to find ourselves in the role of either the abuser or abused, the only place to look is within.

Two Sides of the Mirror
Whether the empath or the narcissist seeks to heal and end exploitation, the only reason to look to the other is to see what is being reflected back. What does the empath see in the narcissist that feeds their need to sacrifice and submit? What does the narcissist see in the empath that triggers them to demand and deplete? And, above all, how can they nourish or silence this deep-seated hunger, finding stillness, healing, and wholeness from within?

Asking what inner work remains to be done, shadows remain uncovered, and needs remain un-self-fulfilled should always be the primary focus! To the empath, the narcissist is the mirror, and to the narcissist, the empath is the mirror; The mirror reflects how they need to acknowledge their trauma, accept accountability, and awaken to their power to shape their destiny. Is it time to take a long hard look in the mirror?

In Love and Truth,
​Lori Lines 
​

By Lori Lines

Moving through life can feel a lot like traveling in a car. Stressful times are like traffic, hectic yet inert – a lot is going on, but not a lot of progress is being made. Sometimes, we tool around as we would doing errands, from one minor milestone to another - working, socializing, a little growth here, a lesson or two there. There are long drives, through scenic landscapes, like the journey from high school to university or dating to marriage.  Then, there are drives along an endless grey landscape of highways and byways, infinite twists and turns with no end in sight, leaving you feeling lost and directionless. These are life’s “in-between times.”

Different Shades of Grey 
The in-between times are often neither light nor dark but rather grey. The absence of anything definitively positive or truly negative is its own kind of loss. It is the discomfort of numbness, like the pressure you feel when a limb falls asleep. It is the pain of feeling hollow, unalive, and unseen.
 
It has a gradual onset. As you go about your day-to-day, life starts to lose its color; as the saturation slowly drains, everything fades to grey. Confusion begins to set in as one day runs into the next, with nothing to differentiate it. You ask yourself if every day is the same, where are you going, and how are you supposed to get there? Frustration will begin to build, giving way to anger. Soon, the dull ache of the grey becomes a crushing weight.

The Shadow of Great Opportunity
We’ve all seen it, and many of us have experienced it. A life not fully lived becomes a heavy burden. People begin to feel like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the mountain every day for eternity, never getting ahead. Often to help deaden the pain, people distract themselves with shopping, drinking, serial dating, and eating. This often results in chronic feelings of anxiety and depression.
 
The remedy? Knowing that the in-between times are just that, a state of transition between what was and what will be. It is not some Divinely ordained punishment, the result of a past misstep, or an erroneous twist of fate. This is not oppression; this is opportunity! You are breaking away from what was. The stillness is creating space for what will be. Even though you feel your foundation is crumbling, it is actually the stirring of a fertile new path.

Chaos Vs. Cataclysmic Change
Change is hard; it takes hard work, persistence, and patience. Change can happen so slowly that you question if any progress is even being made. Change means saying no when you could say, “whatever, why not.” Change can also be cataclysmic, requiring tenacity and grit. It can happen so quickly that you question how it happened at all, and it can mean saying yes when you could say, “why should I?” Throughout change, we learn, we fail, learn some more, grow, release, cling, accept, and surrender.
 
On the other hand,
cha·os /ˈkāˌäs/
noun

1. complete disorder and confusion.
2. behavior so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions.
3.  formless matter to have existed before the creation of the universe.​

In chaos, there is nothingness; no sense to be made, only confusion. There is no way to hewn healing, growth, or opportunity from chaos. It has no rhyme or reason and is so discordant with universal order that it is the mythological term for what existed before the dawn of creation.
 
Now ask yourself, are the in-between times made of chaos or cataclysmic change?

Trusting the Process
But how can you really be sure that what you are going through is progressive and not chaos to deleterious effect? You can’t. You can never be sure unless you put one foot in front of the other, gathering understanding and wisdom and leaving behind unserving energies and emotional baggage as you go. You’ll never know unless you are willing to trust the process. Still…chances are, if you are ready to take the trust and fall into the embrace of the universe, you will be caught in a net of purpose and possibility on the way down while a new existence is being rebuilt around and within you.

The Importance of Surrender
Once you can surrender to the process and let go of what was, you can witness the miraculous take place in your life! You will find alignment with your new personhood, reality, and existence, taking each step as it is made known to you. There will be no need to rush; putting one foot in front of the other along this path of rebirth and discovery will be a pleasure in itself as you revel in the purpose and potential that is revealed to you. 

And really, that is all it takes to arrive at your destination; whatever you and the Divine have co-created it to be – you’ll get there. Whether you realize it at the time or not, every delay, rush, loss, gain, pain, triumph, misunderstanding, or lesson you experience during the in-between times prepares you for the ultimate destination, enlightenment!

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

What is shadow work, and how do you do it?
Therapists, coaches, influencers, and daytime tv hosts – everyone is talking about shadow work. It can be a buzzword to get likes, presume sagacity, or establish a pseudo-guru status. However, shadow work is more than a hashtag; it is a profound tool for meaningful healing, trauma recovery, relationship rehab, and self-actualization.
 
Fundamentally, shadow work is a healing journey of personal reclamation and soulful integration. It is the recovery of lost parts of the self that have fallen into the obscurity of the unconscious – the shadow self.
 
Meeting The Shadow Self 
Id, Ego, Superego, Inner Child, Higher Self, Lower Self, Mask Self, Conscious Mind, Unconscious Mind, Subconscious Mind, Soul, Spirit, and Shadow Self…

There are many aspects and labels for states of being and aspects of personhood. The shadow self relates to all aspects of the self that do not respond to the ego ideal and become unconscious with time. Despite the ego and shadow, conscious and unconscious, or shadow and light becoming disjointed, they are still part of the same soul, resulting in dis-ease from a fractured spirit. This is painful because it is not a natural state!

Each lifetime we arrive as an integrated soul, ready to learn, grow, and enlighten. Yet, over time and across interactions, we are conditioned to view certain aspects of ourselves as unacceptable and unlovable. These internalized beliefs, often established by what triggers the shadows of others, such as parents, define the shadows self.  We refuse to acknowledge and accept these shadows as a defense mechanism to avoid dissonance resulting from shame, guilt, and self-loathing. 

The Darkest Shadow
It is important to remember that the shadow self isn’t bad; we are only conditioned to believe it is “bad.” There may be gifts and talents repressed by the shadow self because we were mocked or punished for them, like the creative mind of a daydreamer or a little boy’s love of dance. What is actually “bad” are the harmful effects of denying who we genuinely are. Self-denial leads to disconnection from the higher self, Source, the destiny they co-created, and the path of enlightenment it leads to.

As a result of this unnatural, disconnected state of being, intrapersonal issues arise, such as 
Emotional Triggers such as anxiety, depression, anger
Emptiness and lack of personal fulfillment
Lack of life purpose
Negative self-talk
Self-loathing
Self-victimization
Self-harm, such as alcoholism, drug abuse, overeating, overworking, etc.

The harmful effects do not happen in a vacuum, extending beyond our inner being into our interpersonal experience. These challenges include
Toxic relationship patterns – domestic violence, infidelity
Jealousy and envy
Being overcritical due to projection
Alienation  and loneliness
Unhealthy or lack of boundaries – co-dependence, defensiveness
Generational trauma

Ultimately, we can’t be or give our best, or even better, selves if we cannot first be our whole selves. 

Coming to the Light
Shadow work isn’t all love and light, nor doom and gloom. Recovering “unlovable” parts of who you are can be painful, jarring, and disorienting, but it is also profoundly freeing, healing, and empowering. It doesn’t take years and years of probing deep within the depths of your soul to experience the transformative power. Some people successfully embark on and accomplish a solitary journey of soul retrieval. Because shadow work can be facilitated by practices that override the conscious mind, like hypnotherapy, art therapy, and shamanic healing, some people seek therapists, counselors, or Shamans. But shadow work doesn’t take degrees, certifications, crystals, herbs, or leatherbound journals. 

Shadow work requires an open awareness of what has been hidden and a willingness to welcome it into the light. You neither forsake the light nor eradicate the shadow. There may always be aspects of yourself you are uncomfortable sharing or acknowledging, just as there will be aspects you want to put front and center. The goal of integration is awareness, acceptance, and allowing- awareness of both your shadow and light, accepting them both equally, and allowing the authentic experience of both.

The Shadow is the Greatest Teacher 
There are many paths along the shadow work journey. It is your soul; therefore, you know best how to retrieve the aspects that make it whole. Still, the following past-present-future perspective should offer some illuminating guidance for every step of your journey.

Past
Review – Take an inventory of your life thus far; journal prompts can be very helpful in this respect. Examine your childhood, relationship history, personal accomplishments, and regrets. As you do inventory, take note of any recurring themes and patterns.

Accept – Understand that you may experience some discomforting revelations and recover painful memories. Accept that what is done cannot be changed, but by acknowledging it, you can change your future! 

Present
Observe –Practice being the watchful observer, taking a non-judgmental, unemotional look at your reactions and responses. Pay particular attention to your emotional triggers. Remember, not all triggers flare immediately. A midday occurrence in the office may come to a head in the evening during an interaction with a spouse.

Question – Once you have gained insight as the watchful observer, identify any patterns that arise. Question the who, what, when, and why surrounding an emotional trigger. Next, explore where; At what point in my life did this trigger start? Finally, how does this connect to my shadow?

Future
Allow – Integrating the conscious self with the unconscious self is a process. All aspects of the shadow won’t reveal themselves at once, nor does unlearning conditioning happen overnight. Change and healing are not linear; trust that your shadow will reveal itself at a pace that honors your greatest good and highest purpose. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
​
Honor – You may not love or even like all you discover as your awareness expands. No matter what you face, try to honor your shadow self, even if you aren’t ready to embrace it. Shadow work is a journey of awareness. The more awareness you gain, the more fully embodied you are as a conscious being sovereign over your personhood and path.  Only in your fullness and with agency and authority can you live your destiny and follow your fate – your authentic and unique path to ascension and the brilliance of enlightenment. 

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

Despite what we thought after our first childhood or teenage experience with unrequited love, rejection won’t kill you! Yes, the blend of shame, self-loathing, loss, and alienation can make rejection extremely painful, but the only thing that may die as a result is the ego’s comparative compulsions. We’ve all been rejected in our lives, and we have lived to tell the harrowing tale- but does rejection always have to be so painful, profound, or personal?

The Truth is a Double-Edged Sword
You see, rejection is a double-edged sword. It is manifested interpersonally (between two people) but is often an intrapersonal (within oneself) expression and experience.  This double-edged sword is usually wielded by those who are triggered by ego comparison, but they are blindly swinging with no personal vendetta.
 
For example, the “mean girl” who gets laughed at for her reading skills and, in turn, won’t let the student with straight A’s sit with the group at lunch.  Or the colleague who is used to being the boss’s “go-to-guy” and starts belittling the new employee who has also garnered the boss’s favor. In these cases, the people whose egos are threatened don’t have interpersonal issues with those they reject; they are indiscriminately lashing out at the discomforting ego comparison.

How is rejection a double-edged sword? When we are on the receiving end of its blade, it can cut to the core of an ego wound, and when we are brave enough to examine this wound, we can genuinely heal, gaining self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-worth. For example, the student who, at their parent’s urging, applies and is rejected by all the schools they reached out to discovers their true passion is culinary arts. Or the man seeking love who is in a depressing cycle of romantic rejection and finally realizes he is not ready for love until he heals his codependent tendencies.

Power is the Ability to Achieve Purpose
The truth is that rejection isn’t all bad; it can also be rather beautiful, purposeful, and powerful when you think about it. Sometimes rejection is a Divine gift of protection or postponement for something better. For example, the woman who desperately wants the man she is casually dating to commit. But Spirit has other plans, and instead, he rejects her. She is heartbroken over the abandonment. What she doesn’t realize is that he is a narcissist who would have emotionally abused her, but Spirit wouldn’t allow it; this woman’s destiny is to meet her soulmate six months later…

Rejection may also be a Divine intervention to steer us towards our greatest good and highest purpose- the ultimate path of ascension. Imagine a new graduate getting rejected for all the teaching jobs in his area. So, he journeys abroad and takes a teaching job in China. He learns about Traditional Chinese Medicine, Reiki, and QI Jong in his spare time and discovers his purpose as a holistic energy healer. Sometimes the slammed door of rejection is a necessary redirection!

Just as we must learn to accept our own rejection, we must be willing to reject others when circumstances call for it. Many people struggle with dispensing rejection because of their experience and emotions towards receiving it. When we view being rejected as personal, it can trigger thoughts and feelings of unworthiness, shame, abandonment, loneliness, inferiority, and ridicule. This makes it difficult for someone, with any modicum of compassion, to dole this pain out to anyone else- understandably!

However, when we understand that rejection is intrapersonal and rarely interpersonal, malicious, or targeted, we can use rejection as a healing tool, enabling us to protect ourselves and our boundaries. What’s more, when we are comfortable rejecting who and what is not meant for us, doesn’t, or no longer serve our purpose, we are better able to accept and move on after being rebuffed, allowing us to process, learn, and progress quicker and with greater ease. 

Rejection is Divine Redirection
In all these ways, rejection can be a powerful and painless tool for 
Divine Guidance
Divine Protection
Ending Ego Comparisons
Finding Purpose
Self-Discovery
Self-Worth
Setting Boundaries
Shadow Work
Trauma Recovery

Depending on your point of view, rejection can become a key to unlocking a better you, a better path, and a better future.  What changes it from a weapon into a key? Quite simply, how you perceive it. How you feel about rejection plays an influential role regarding how much you can benefit from it, whether on the giving or receiving end. 

A willingness to see rejection for what it truly is, be it a lesson, opportunity, Divine protection, or emotional intervention, can create opportunities for growth, empowerment, evolution, and abundance.
 
Often, when rejection closes a door, it is because it no longer leads anywhere; honor rejection as a doorway to the path of enlightenment and ascension! 

In love and truth,
Lori Lines
​

By Lori Lines

The Power of Words
Think back to a time when someone gave you heartfelt praise, “great job,” “impressive,” or “way to go”! Were you filled with pride, a sense of appreciation, or the satisfaction of accomplishment? Alternatively, can you remember when someone diminished your efforts or harshly criticized you? “I’m disappointed in you?” “Is that the best you could’ve done?” What emotions did that stir within you? How did it make you feel?

Words can hurt, or they can heal. Some wield words as weapons striking out to cause injury. Others carelessly toss words around, unconsciously letting them fall where they may. And there are those sacred moments when we use our words like a soothing balm to comfort the pain of others. Words have power. Yet like a sword, they cut both ways.

“Main Character Energy”
A new term for an old mindset, main character energy, can refer to someone who sees themselves as the main character across circumstances, with others playing supporting roles. This type of worldview is dangerous because things can become deeply personal! A neighbor not saying hello, leads to a whirlwind of theories about how we have offended them. A warm moment between coworkers becomes fodder for a passionate attraction they supposedly feel for us. And an offhanded remark or inconsiderate putdown becomes a profound affront to us, shaking the foundation of our self-esteem.

The reason for someone’s words may be a poor night’s sleep, the fact that you remind them of a selfish ex or demanding parent, or they may not even have intended it the way you perceived it. They may have a blunt way of communicating, or something may have been lost in translation due to text or email. It often has very little to do with us when someone says something offensive… or does it?

Seeing Things as We Are
Anaïs Nin once said, “we don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.” And that is why despite the words of others often having very little to do with us, our perception and response ultimately have everything to do with us. Therefore, it is essential to recognize when we feel offended so that we can identify our triggers, mitigate our defensiveness, and use the moment to awaken instead of agonize. 

We might feel shameful, sorrowful, or fearful when we are offended. Some people become indignant, full of rage, or vengeful. These are all defense mechanisms the ego-self employs to protect itself from being wounded or triggered. And fundamentally, defense mechanisms are a means of rejecting and denying something that may or may not be true but, nevertheless, disrupts our sense of self and worth. So, be mindful when you feel yourself shutting down or lashing out!

Your Trigger, Your Responsibility
Once we can recognize when we are offended, we soon discover that when someone’s words are offensive, it is often because they poked around an old unhealed wound. It is essential to identify these triggers to strengthen ourselves against future pain and offense and heal past traumas and emotional blockages. 
Some questions to ask once you have recognized that you are offended are…

When have I experienced this before?
Who or what do these feelings remind me of?
How did it make me feel then?
How does this trigger me to feel now?
How does this contradict how I perceive myself?
How does this affirm how I perceive myself?

Of course, these questions are just the beginning of learning to acknowledge, find the root of, accept, and heal triggers. Remember, a trigger isn’t a “bad” or shameful thing; it can be a powerful tool for self-exploration and personal growth!

Toxic or Tactful Defensiveness?
Just as triggers aren’t all “bad,” vulnerability isn’t all good. We are often encouraged to be receptive and open-hearted; Genuine has become synonymous with wearing our hearts on our sleeves. However, this, like most extremes, is not healthy. To swing too far on the spectrum, being totally “open” leaves us defenseless against those who would do us harm, destabilize our self-wroth, and compromise our sense of self. Too far in the opposite direction, we would be narrow-minded, emotionally detached, unable, and unwilling to change.
 
Ultimately, it is the difference between a blockage and a boundary. Boundaries are a matter of self-worth. Blockages stem from self-doubt. Toxic defensiveness is a cage, limiting our growth and keeping away everyone and everything that would challenge our limiting beliefs or lead to change. Tactful defensiveness creates a healthy boundary between you, others, and their opinion. It allows you to define who you are while adapting to who you are becoming.
 
How to Not Take Things Personally
Taking things personally can significantly impede our self-esteem, ability to communicate with others, and journey to enlightenment. How much more evolved would we all be if we took things a little less personally and chose to be responsive instead of reactive? Learning to do so is a practice; Each day, it is a moment-to-moment choice to move through life consciously, mindful of the grey areas between our perception, reality, and the perception of others. Practicing a CALM approach to life, you will soon discover the freedom of not taking things personally!
​
Confidence - Create a self-care routine and spiritual practice that nourishes self-worth and personal conviction.
Accountability – Non-judgementally, hold yourself accountable for your perceptions, reactions, growth, and healing. 
Learn – Take a step back and explore what the “offense” has triggered for you and why. Be willing to learn more about what you need to heal.
Move On – Acceptance is a big part of the journey. Even if someone intended to harm you, accept that you cannot control others, only your response; Know when it is time to let go and move on.

In love and truth,

​Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

Think of the last time you selflessly gave of your time or resources. It could be helping a co-worker finish an overdue project, gifting a neighbor or friend, or taking time to plan an extra special evening for your partner. It felt good, didn’t it? When you do things for others, it boosts your self-esteem. You feel accomplished and perhaps skilled, and you reinforce your belief that you are ultimately a “good” person. 

Kind acts boost self-esteem, which fluctuates, at times becoming very low and others soaring very high. Self-esteem is based on personal evaluations and, for some, comparisons to others. Like the ego-self, self-esteem is often fueled by how you feel you measure up to others. So, when we give to others, we feel good, in part because we feel someone else in our shoes may not do the same.

Constantly needing to reaffirm their virtue as a “good” person, some people give to a fault, neglecting their own needs and desires. People who do this often have poor boundaries and act from a place of trauma or heartache. Whether they were abandoned, betrayed, abused, or otherwise led to believe they were a “bad” person, they give to ease the ache of the wounds within them. Yet, due to the impermanent nature of self-esteem, they must give incessantly to try to keep a pervasive and painful lack of self-worth repressed.
 
That is an important distinction to make; self-esteem is not self-worth! Self-esteem is based on doing and feeling. Self-worth is based on being. It is unwavering and untouched by your latest loss or most recent gain. This more profound personal estimation is based on your intrinsic worth as a part of the delicately interwoven universal network and the collective unconscious. When you have self-worth, you innately know you are enough based solely on the unique role only you can play in unfolding the divine plan. Keeping this divine plan in mind is essential to understand how people who incessantly take compromise their own self-worth.

It feels great when people make time for you, going out of their way or taking from their resources to make your day easier or your life better. It tells you that you are a “good” person, and because you must somehow merit this behavior, you are a virtuous person. But, just like the flip side of the coin, due to the unstable nature of self-esteem, you’ll need to keep taking to maintain the sense of worthiness you gain. This ultimately damages your self-worth by negating your unique contribution to the divinely orchestrated plan.
 
Each of us must follow our own path, gaining wisdom, building gifts, and becoming realigned with our authentic selves. When you give or take beyond measure or boundary, it damages self-worth by diverting you from your true purpose of learning, growing, and self-actualizing. The road to enlightenment necessitates dignity built on self-reliance and self-respect. This dignity will remind you of the irrefutable truth that you are inherently deserving of the hope, happiness, and unconditional love the ascension will bring and serve as a guiding light along your spiritual journey.

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines
​