By Lori Lines

The Power of Words
Think back to a time when someone gave you heartfelt praise, “great job,” “impressive,” or “way to go”! Were you filled with pride, a sense of appreciation, or the satisfaction of accomplishment? Alternatively, can you remember when someone diminished your efforts or harshly criticized you? “I’m disappointed in you?” “Is that the best you could’ve done?” What emotions did that stir within you? How did it make you feel?

Words can hurt, or they can heal. Some wield words as weapons striking out to cause injury. Others carelessly toss words around, unconsciously letting them fall where they may. And there are those sacred moments when we use our words like a soothing balm to comfort the pain of others. Words have power. Yet like a sword, they cut both ways.

“Main Character Energy”
A new term for an old mindset, main character energy, can refer to someone who sees themselves as the main character across circumstances, with others playing supporting roles. This type of worldview is dangerous because things can become deeply personal! A neighbor not saying hello, leads to a whirlwind of theories about how we have offended them. A warm moment between coworkers becomes fodder for a passionate attraction they supposedly feel for us. And an offhanded remark or inconsiderate putdown becomes a profound affront to us, shaking the foundation of our self-esteem.

The reason for someone’s words may be a poor night’s sleep, the fact that you remind them of a selfish ex or demanding parent, or they may not even have intended it the way you perceived it. They may have a blunt way of communicating, or something may have been lost in translation due to text or email. It often has very little to do with us when someone says something offensive… or does it?

Seeing Things as We Are
Anaïs Nin once said, “we don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.” And that is why despite the words of others often having very little to do with us, our perception and response ultimately have everything to do with us. Therefore, it is essential to recognize when we feel offended so that we can identify our triggers, mitigate our defensiveness, and use the moment to awaken instead of agonize. 

We might feel shameful, sorrowful, or fearful when we are offended. Some people become indignant, full of rage, or vengeful. These are all defense mechanisms the ego-self employs to protect itself from being wounded or triggered. And fundamentally, defense mechanisms are a means of rejecting and denying something that may or may not be true but, nevertheless, disrupts our sense of self and worth. So, be mindful when you feel yourself shutting down or lashing out!

Your Trigger, Your Responsibility
Once we can recognize when we are offended, we soon discover that when someone’s words are offensive, it is often because they poked around an old unhealed wound. It is essential to identify these triggers to strengthen ourselves against future pain and offense and heal past traumas and emotional blockages. 
Some questions to ask once you have recognized that you are offended are…

When have I experienced this before?
Who or what do these feelings remind me of?
How did it make me feel then?
How does this trigger me to feel now?
How does this contradict how I perceive myself?
How does this affirm how I perceive myself?

Of course, these questions are just the beginning of learning to acknowledge, find the root of, accept, and heal triggers. Remember, a trigger isn’t a “bad” or shameful thing; it can be a powerful tool for self-exploration and personal growth!

Toxic or Tactful Defensiveness?
Just as triggers aren’t all “bad,” vulnerability isn’t all good. We are often encouraged to be receptive and open-hearted; Genuine has become synonymous with wearing our hearts on our sleeves. However, this, like most extremes, is not healthy. To swing too far on the spectrum, being totally “open” leaves us defenseless against those who would do us harm, destabilize our self-wroth, and compromise our sense of self. Too far in the opposite direction, we would be narrow-minded, emotionally detached, unable, and unwilling to change.
 
Ultimately, it is the difference between a blockage and a boundary. Boundaries are a matter of self-worth. Blockages stem from self-doubt. Toxic defensiveness is a cage, limiting our growth and keeping away everyone and everything that would challenge our limiting beliefs or lead to change. Tactful defensiveness creates a healthy boundary between you, others, and their opinion. It allows you to define who you are while adapting to who you are becoming.
 
How to Not Take Things Personally
Taking things personally can significantly impede our self-esteem, ability to communicate with others, and journey to enlightenment. How much more evolved would we all be if we took things a little less personally and chose to be responsive instead of reactive? Learning to do so is a practice; Each day, it is a moment-to-moment choice to move through life consciously, mindful of the grey areas between our perception, reality, and the perception of others. Practicing a CALM approach to life, you will soon discover the freedom of not taking things personally!
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Confidence - Create a self-care routine and spiritual practice that nourishes self-worth and personal conviction.
Accountability – Non-judgementally, hold yourself accountable for your perceptions, reactions, growth, and healing. 
Learn – Take a step back and explore what the “offense” has triggered for you and why. Be willing to learn more about what you need to heal.
Move On – Acceptance is a big part of the journey. Even if someone intended to harm you, accept that you cannot control others, only your response; Know when it is time to let go and move on.

In love and truth,

​Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

Think of the last time you selflessly gave of your time or resources. It could be helping a co-worker finish an overdue project, gifting a neighbor or friend, or taking time to plan an extra special evening for your partner. It felt good, didn’t it? When you do things for others, it boosts your self-esteem. You feel accomplished and perhaps skilled, and you reinforce your belief that you are ultimately a “good” person. 

Kind acts boost self-esteem, which fluctuates, at times becoming very low and others soaring very high. Self-esteem is based on personal evaluations and, for some, comparisons to others. Like the ego-self, self-esteem is often fueled by how you feel you measure up to others. So, when we give to others, we feel good, in part because we feel someone else in our shoes may not do the same.

Constantly needing to reaffirm their virtue as a “good” person, some people give to a fault, neglecting their own needs and desires. People who do this often have poor boundaries and act from a place of trauma or heartache. Whether they were abandoned, betrayed, abused, or otherwise led to believe they were a “bad” person, they give to ease the ache of the wounds within them. Yet, due to the impermanent nature of self-esteem, they must give incessantly to try to keep a pervasive and painful lack of self-worth repressed.
 
That is an important distinction to make; self-esteem is not self-worth! Self-esteem is based on doing and feeling. Self-worth is based on being. It is unwavering and untouched by your latest loss or most recent gain. This more profound personal estimation is based on your intrinsic worth as a part of the delicately interwoven universal network and the collective unconscious. When you have self-worth, you innately know you are enough based solely on the unique role only you can play in unfolding the divine plan. Keeping this divine plan in mind is essential to understand how people who incessantly take compromise their own self-worth.

It feels great when people make time for you, going out of their way or taking from their resources to make your day easier or your life better. It tells you that you are a “good” person, and because you must somehow merit this behavior, you are a virtuous person. But, just like the flip side of the coin, due to the unstable nature of self-esteem, you’ll need to keep taking to maintain the sense of worthiness you gain. This ultimately damages your self-worth by negating your unique contribution to the divinely orchestrated plan.
 
Each of us must follow our own path, gaining wisdom, building gifts, and becoming realigned with our authentic selves. When you give or take beyond measure or boundary, it damages self-worth by diverting you from your true purpose of learning, growing, and self-actualizing. The road to enlightenment necessitates dignity built on self-reliance and self-respect. This dignity will remind you of the irrefutable truth that you are inherently deserving of the hope, happiness, and unconditional love the ascension will bring and serve as a guiding light along your spiritual journey.

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines
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By Lori Lines

Growing up, our parents or primary guardians seemed larger than life. They could tackle any task, answer any question, and do no wrong. In a child’s eyes, the adults that nurse them when they are sick, help them navigate the world, and shower them with love, are perfect. As we grow out of the ages of innocence, we may start to perceive of the humanity of our guardians. Imperfect, questioning, wounded, and in need of healing. It is difficult for some when they realize that their parents are human and fall short of their ideal of what a parent should be.
 
It is often not until we are older or parents ourselves that we can fully embrace the fallibility of our parents with grace and compassion. Though for some, this understanding is hard to find, and no matter how pure and well-meaning their parents’ intentions are, their children feel resentment, heartache, or spitefulness towards the people they once so idolized. 

This manner of viewing elders and caregivers from childhood is often encouraged. Viewed as respectful and considered a sound way to model qualities that children should aspire to, putting our parents on a pedestal is a dynamic that we are conditioned to accept.
 
As we grow, we may adopt the same way of viewing all adults, superiors, and advisors. In school, we may idolize our teachers and coaches. We emulate and aspire to be like our more successful counterparts, managers, and bosses in the professional world. When we seek guidance and healing from counselors, therapists, and lightworkers, we also raise them up on a pedestal of reverence and admiration. 
In fact, the more spiritual an individual’s purpose or vocation, the more we tend to revert to the conditioned response of idolization. Just as we did with our parents in our youth, we encumber our spiritual teachers, healers, and mentors with high expectations based on our own idealized versions of who we think they should be. This idealized version is often a projection of who we think we should be or who we believe these lightworkers are supposed to help us become.

Some believe there are benefits to viewing lightworkers and spiritual healers in this way. Often, by painting the mentor with the brush of projection, it enables us to better visualize who we wish to become. The idealized guide can serve as an inspiration, motivating transformation, because “if they can do it, so can I.”
 
Yet, like our parents, lightworkers are fallibly human. They are their own works in progress, seeking healing from wounds and trauma and illumination along their path of enlightenment. Unfortunately, this humanity is often overlooked. Then again, who can see it when they are so high aloft the pedestals they have been placed on. Sadly, when they fall short of our projections of perfection, they are villainized. This villainization is rooted in the same resentment, heartache, and disappointment of our youth when confronted by our parents’ imperfection. Instead of being a reflection of our hopes and dreams, the lightworker becomes a projection of our unhealed wounds.
 
As unfortunate as the whole dynamic sounds, it can serve as an opportunity for healing. When these wounds rise to the surface to be slung resentfully at our parents, healers, guides, mentors, and leaders, we can instead use them to reawaken to our divine purpose of release, renewal, and enlightenment. When these people “let us down,” it is often because they “fail” to possess qualities that we wanted to see in others or manifest within ourselves. It is essential to ask ourselves how we can be the embodiment of who we long for others to be, how can our journey of self-actualization help us grow into the people we have always needed.
 
We are on the precipice of transformational times and ascending the matrix. It is more critical than ever that we must be who we need for ourselves. While it can be encouraging to grow with others and motivating to be inspired by others, we must learn to follow our own path, trust our own intuition, and manifest our own growth.

It is time to embrace your own sovereignty! Shake free from the doubt and the fear of not having all the answers. The time is now to turn the same faithful trust you held in your parents, or the lightworkers you’ve encountered, inward. Trust yourself and the journey even if you don’t have all the answers because no one does. After all, the whole reason for your journey is to discover them! 

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines

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By Lori Lines

Four principle bodies define our personhood.  The wholeness of your existence can be parsed into our physical body, mental body, emotional body, and spiritual body.  The classifications are self-explanatory.  The physical body governs sensory experiences, bodily needs, and desires.  The mental body encompasses the cognitive processes and frameworks through which you experience your existence, such as value systems, world views, and beliefs.  Comprising your emotional experiences and states is the emotional body.  Finally, your higher self, inner divinity, and authentic ascended essence is the spiritual body.

When we are balanced and aligned, our spiritual, mental, and emotional essence inform and are informed by each other.  Our physical body is the embodiment and expression of mind, heart, and soul - an elaborate orchestration of chi.  While the physical body is essential as our means of self-expression and transportation during this lifetime, of the four, it is the lowest common denominator.  

Imbalances can lead to systemic disruption.  For some, physical needs and self-serving desires take precedence.  In this case, when the mind, heart, or spirit needs healing, the drives of the temporal body block progression and growth.  An illustration of this is when two people feel a strong corporeal attraction that feels so novel and strong it can be falsely attributed with karma.  

Granted, there are many pre-destined connections with labels such as "soul mates," "twin flames," and "karmic connections" scripted in the book of life.  However, we can only discern them when spirit informs the body.  When body informs spirit, we can be misled to hang on to destructive circumstances, energies, and behaviors, obstructing the intended flow of energy throughout the four bodies.  This limits our mental, emotional, and spiritual growth and expansion, keeping us stuck, unable to move into the direction of our highest good.

This is when it's necessary to take a moment, at this point, to reconnect to our soul purpose.  We have come to this lifetime to self-actualize, achieve enlightenment, and ascend. Every experience and every relationship that has been placed on our path is meant to facilitate this practice.  It may not always be clear how to navigate the situation or why a particular person or circumstance was placed on our path, yet we are still accountable for trusting the process and learning.  If you are resistant or allow yourself to be distracted by physical desires, you can manifest negative karmic ramifications by blocking your soul's progression.

The highly marketed and pervasive notion about the Twin Flame connection, for example, is so profound and meaningful that we must pursue it at all costs, never faltering along the journey, is an example of blocking our spiritual progression.  This notion can contribute to the tendency to use fate as an excuse to resist spiritual advancement, fail to fight physical desires, and refuse to release destructive energies, people and situations that may be hurting us. While unique in many ways, the Twin Flame connection is like every other relationship in that it is meant to serve our path towards individual alignment with the higher self.  When a relationship, Twin Flame, soulmate, or otherwise, fails or ceases to support our journey, we are responsible for either healing or releasing it.

Divine wisdom dictates that even in our "failures" or "missteps," we can still find growth and empowerment.  Revisiting the example of the Twin Flame connection, when things don't work out, instead of seeking "healing" through dogged fidelity and destructive tenacity WITH that person, we are meant to learn independence, release, and self-preservation leading to freedom and liberation.  We are not intended to live co-dependently.  We are designed to honor our own personhood so that we are filled with light and  radiate this light out to others within our sphere.  Even when we are not in relationships, independence and liberty to pursue enlightenment on our own terms are vital.   While our spiritual partners can support and inspire our progression towards completion, they are not meant to complete us.  As discussed in a recent article, it is crucial to show up whole to all relationships, sans our baggage, to avoid lowering our individual and mutual vibration.

There are many ways people can be unavailable; emotionally, spiritually, mentally, or due to previous or current attachments.  Fundamentally, whenever we stubbornly pursue a relationship that serves neither our own nor our partner's soul growth any longer than is necessary, one or more of the four bodies will be misaligned or unavailable.  For a connection to fulfill your needs, both parties must be present in all four bodies.  This is the only way to elevate the associated vibrations and support the delicate balance of chi that breathes life into your holistic self that sustains the four bodies it is founded upon.

Keep in mind, letting go of someone we love who is emotionally unavailable may erroneously feel like a lack of fidelity or commitment, yet it is a revealing sign of dedication and loyalty to your life purpose and soul mission. 

Always stay true to yourself without exploiting another.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

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By Lori Lines

​Everything is energy, the emotions this article elicits, the thoughts it invokes. Your energy is an amalgamation of all the subtle energies you are made up of. Have you ever noticed that your annoying neighbor or irritating co-worker always seems to find you when you are having a bad day? That is because universal order is based in part on like attracting like. We naturally attract the energies we manifest.
 
Polarity is another universal law. The balance of oppositional forces is represented by light and dark, yin and yang, feminine and masculine, positive and negative. Within each of us exists light and shadow. Enlightenment is realized not in the absence of our shadows but when our light illuminates all that exists within them.

Spiritual growth is not a linear, quantifiable path. Viewing energy as a spectrum, some people's energy is more burdened by their darkness (lower vibrational frequency).  In contrast, other people's energy is elevated by their light (higher vibrational frequency).

Every interpersonal dynamic, platonic or romantic, has its own energy. It is the sum of both parties' energy. When two people who radiate more light are paired up, we admire their connection – "two peas in a pod," "meant to be," "soulmates." When two people who generate more darkness come together, we often dissent – "misery loves company," "match made in hell."
 
Then there are relationships when opposite energies attract and a positive vibration is entwined with a negative one – "toxic," "enabling," "codependent." Think back to when you or someone you know was in such a relationship. Do you recall watching the "positive" person becoming increasingly focused on the "negative" person's wellbeing? Did their energy fade? Did their spark diminish? That's because the person filled with light was being pulled down into the other person's darkness.
 
It's important to remember neither party is inherently good or bad based on this dynamic. We often glorify people who are self-sacrificing as heroic, compassionate, and kind. In turn, we paint people with lower vibrations as malevolent, "energy vampires," and "toxic."  It is the dynamic that is toxic. What many don't realize is this type of dynamic is damaging to both people. It's as dysfunctional to pour all your light into someone else's darkness as it is to allow another's light to chase your shadows. It deters from your higher purpose by either distracting from your growth or undermining the need for growth altogether.
 
While it may be easier to spot imbalances in others' relationships, there are some hallmarks you can look for in your own relationships. Does the relationship leave you feeling increasingly run down? Has your own growth become stagnant? Do you find yourself reverting to unhealthy, unserving mindsets or behaviors? Do you maintain this relationship out of love and affinity or concern over how the other party will fare without you?

 It's never too late to become aware of these unserving dynamics and regain balance! We often feel a commitment to people based on how long they've been in our lives. "I've known her since grade school," "we have been together for 10 years". The calendar is not always a good measure for a good, balanced relationship. It's about how people show up within the relationship dynamic, whether you've known them 50 years or three months, doesn't really matter.  Ask yourself, if a food you have eaten since you were a child was making you sick, would you keep eating it because you had been doing so your whole life?  What if you found a new food? Whenever you ate it, you felt satiated, refreshed, and nourished. Would you disregard it because you only knew of it for a brief time? That's because what matters most is how good it made you feel. Relationships are the same. The length of the relationship is not important. What is essential is how well it nourishes both parties' spiritual bodies, serving the greater good.
  
If you find yourself in a chronically imbalanced dynamic, it's imperative to set boundaries. Focus on boundaries that make yourself a priority again, that stymie the energy vortex you have unknowingly been sucked into, and clearly delineate where your energy ends, and theirs begins. If someone refuses to honor these energetic boundaries, you may consider cutting them loose so they can no longer serve as an anchor that prevents you from taking flight on the wings of change.
 
It isn't a complicated relational perspective. When you break it down, the principles are founded in simple math; a negative will always diminish a positive, and the sum of two positives is always greater than the parts!

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

By Lori Lines

"Why does this always happen to me?" "How do I always attract the wrong people?" "Why me?!" Most of us have either heard or have even said something like this at some point in our romantic lives. Our tendency is to blame bad luck or the "losers" we meet when things go south in our relationships.
 
Just because we do it doesn't make it right! To find the love, devotion, and unity we seek in healthy relationships, we must challenge ourselves to consider our role and the underpinnings of our belief systems, that drive us, in what went wrong. In other words, we need to examine what we did, or the energy we brought to the relationship to begin with, to cause the undesirable effects. 

Asking yourself what role you played in the distrust, betrayal, frustration, disconnection, or ultimate breakdown of your relationship is a hard question to ask when it is framed in a way that is self-deprecating and guilt-ridden. It doesn't have to be this way. By asking yourself why you have chosen a sequence of cheaters, ignored red flags, didn't speak up when a boundary was crossed, or keep being drawn to the "work-in-progress" type, you will gain self-knowledge and empowerment, breaking these toxic cycles.
 
It can be a hard pill to swallow, yet we manifest an undesirable reality when we lack self-awareness. By allowing unserving belief systems and world views framed by trauma and heartache to go unchecked, unhealed, and unchanged, we end up with the same adverse results. Yet, when we understand the causal role we play, we are empowered to choose a different path, assume a different perspective, and choose different actions. By engaging in shadow work, release work, and accepting appropriate accountability, we can release the past, achieve a higher perspective, overcoming our self-imposed limitations and the confines of our comfort zones.
 
The issue with comfort zones is they are made to fit where we were, not where we are going. Remaining within our comfort zones leaves us doing the same things, with the same people or archetypes, in the same ways, limiting our spiritual growth and personal development. When we enmesh ourselves in situations or connections with a lower vibration than our own, they inevitably pull down our vibration. This drains our energy and creates stagnation. When we find connections and circumstances that match our vibration, we are uplifted, the shared energy is amplified. 

It's important to trust that we will find the right connections and not begin desperately seeking them. Desperation is a bullet train to disempowerment. When we convince ourselves we need a partner as a source of love, well-being or affirmation outside of who we are, we give away our power. We ignore red flags, settle for less, and sacrifice pieces of our personhood because we are so distressed over the thought of being alone. 

We must remember, we can be whole and happy alone. In fact, we must find inner completion and contentment before we can be part of a healthy relationship. When we cling to another for personal fulfillment, the result is neither will be fulfilled. No one other than you can validate, affirm, or complete your existence, meaning you will be unfulfilled, and so will your partner when faced with a task where success is unattainable.

Accountability is crucial in this instance as well. We must assume responsibility for our personal development, happiness, and sense of completion. This is foundational to self-actualization, empowerment, and well-being, yet there are also secondary benefits. When you are at one and at peace with yourself, you will be more attractive, particularly to like-minded individuals. No more low-vibrational energy drainers! Relationships where two complete individuals who love themselves and accept accountability for their lives unsurprisingly foster more growth, happiness, devotion, and fulfillment. Because these two people are not trying to make gains from a deficit, they are building up from a solid foundation on which to grow.

Too many people look at love as something to acquire, retain, and exchange, like a possession. Love is actually a state of being and a way of relating to each other and the world. As they say, love is a verb. Without action, it is merely a word. It is a series of behaviors, communicating, nurturing, supporting, connecting, trusting…

Of all the things we must do to love, trusting is vital. We've all been hurt. No matter the depth, the manner, or how long it's been since it occurred, these hurts can linger. Our hearts are like bruised or broken limbs. Even after the bruises have healed, we are sometimes still defensive and protective of them. We project judgment on to those who want to be in our lives, finding fault and making them wrong in order to protect ourselves. Memories of the pain linger and as they do so, we project our own wounds onto people, until we look within and completely heal ourselves and take accountability for our own sabotage.  Yet to be in love, we must move beyond the fear of being hurt and be willing to stretch out of our comfort zones.
 
While we may not be able to forget, we must be willing to trust. As we embrace our vulnerability, the ego that rejects accountability, refuses change, and finds refuge in casting blame, is silenced. Vulnerability softens your heart, allowing love to flow inward and outward, a life-giving wellspring. Of course, there are risks in opening your heart to the potentiality of hurt and pain, but the reward of learning to first trust yourself is well worth the inner work! 

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

PS. Through hypnosis, we can explore and  help with relationship issues including but not limited to:
Bringing love into your life
Inner Child
Fear of Abandonment
Co-dependency to Independence
Divorce
Emotional Security
Forgiving Infidelity
Ending A Relationship
Forgetting or letting go of an Ex-Love
Possessiveness
Jealousy
Rebuilding Trust
Unrequited Love
Stop Controlling
Stop Cheating
Insecurity

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By Lori Lines

Projection is the subconscious act of transferring your own unwanted traits, emotions, and behaviors on to someone else.  Projective identification, sometimes referred to as projection as well, is the subconscious act of taking feelings from one interpersonal, connection, situation, or relationship and place it on to an unrelated one.  Finally, externalization is when we blame others for our circumstances and problems, falsely assuming a victim mentality.

It can all seem a little confusing to someone who isn't familiar with these terms, so here are a few examples.  An example of projection is feeling bad about not giving your all at work.  Subconsciously you feel guilty that you've been disinterested and unfocused at work.  Instead of assuming responsibility for not giving your all, you lash out at a blameless co-worker for being lazy and inconsiderate for not doing their fair share.  You took your negative feelings and placed them on your co-worker.

An example of projective identification is having left a relationship where you were undervalued and felt unheard, and you go to a skilled therapist and counselor.  You get frustrated with the therapist because they never hear you and often treat you with a lack of respect, unconsciously painting them with the same brush as your ex.

An example of externalization would be poor money management and thoughtless spending having you in a financial crunch.  Instead of assuming responsibility for your carelessness, you blame your innocent partner for always suggesting expensive activities.

Now that you know what these terms are, you may ask why we do them.  They are coping mechanisms to help us deal with uncomfortable and unwelcome emotional and mental experiences.   The above are examples of maladaptive coping.  There are different reasons why we engage in these particular maladaptive coping techniques.  They can be a means to avoid shame and damage to the ego-self.  Some people are trying to prevent fearful or unpredictable outcomes.  For others, it is merely a consequence of trying to block these unwanted thoughts, feelings, or behaviors out of their mind.  By deciding not to think about them, our quirky brains focus on them even more.  We have all engaged in this type of coping at some point in our lives, they are unconscious mechanisms after all, but a chronic or contentious tendency towards projection and blame can be very damaging to others, our relationships, and our spiritual path.

As I'm sure you can imagine, when someone is projected upon or blamed when they are not guilty of the perceived offense, it can damage their self-esteem and self-worth, if they choose to take it on.  Over time, when someone is met with a constant barrage of projection, it can build a toxic shame within them.  This toxicity can spill over into all areas of life.  This is why it is essential to consider and shape our interactions, our reactions with empathy and compassion.

The truth is, the avoidance of negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors thwart our own healing and spiritual growth.  We cannot walk in the light if we don't first acknowledge and accept the dark or shadow components of our past and who we are.  If we project that which is undesirable in us onto others, we never get the chance to open it to the light and to correct ourselves.  By projecting and blaming, we damage our sense of empowerment, our strength, and our self-worth.  We assume the role of victim and, by doing so, we cease striving to surmount our challenges and our traumas so that we can move forward in our lives in a healthy way.

Finally, the path to enlightenment is one of love, love of the self and love of others.  When we project and blame, it is a victimization and a rejection of who we really are, there is no room for self-love in this chronic pattern of denying our truth.  Also, as mentioned, by casting unwarranted guilt on others, we can do damage to their spirit, which wrongfully impacts their path and their ability to fulfill their purpose, love cannot be sustained in this circumstance, either.

Psychological projection, projective identity, and blame all stem from judgments.  Judgements of ourselves that are manifested as judgments projected onto others.  The first step in breaking the toxic pattern of maladaptive projective coping is to release judgment.  The ego-self is sustained by judgments, when you can observe your thoughts, your feelings, and your behaviors with awareness, and without judgment, you are on the path to negative ego-death and enlightenment.

It is exciting to see a trend in my QHHT practice that many of my clients are beginning to recognize, and to take responsibility for,  their own role when they are projecting their own wounds into situations and relationships. As the article states, we all do this from time-to-time, but when it becomes a habit of deflecting the underlying issues, projection can take a very dysfunctional turn.

This trend is showing me that the collective is allowing these underlying wounds to float up to the surface so that we can finally have the opportunity to deal with these shadow parts of ourselves in order to finally make the changes needed and put them to rest.

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines