By Lori Lines
Anger is often perceived as erratic and unpredictable when in fact, anger is a process. It can be both adaptive and maladaptive, but either way, there is a formula. It all begins with an event that trigger’s the anger, something that could be inconvenient, frustrating, hurtful, disappointing…the list goes on. We’ve all been there before.
Next, there is the mental response, how the occurrence is perceived. For some, it is pretty simple, “they keep cutting me off when I am speaking, and I feel disrespected." For others, negative and at times irrational thoughts are elicited, “they cut me off because they think I am stupid,” “They don’t love me enough to hear me out.”
The emotional response follows. Once again, there are two primary courses anger can take. The more objective response, “that hurt me,” “I’m annoyed,” or an emotional reaction activated by the negative thoughts. These emotions tend to be intense and out of proportion, like shame, guilt, fear, rage, panic, and depression.
These intense emotions often influence both the spiritual and physical body. Leading to bodily tension and spiritual disconnection from divine purpose and universal harmony. This disconnection from the higher self and stabilizing force of the physical plane detract from the path of self-actualization and ascension.
This type of fury leads to what is known as open aggression, expressing itself as screaming, accusations, blaming, harsh criticisms, and emotional manipulation. In the worst-case scenarios, it can lead to property damage or violence against the self or others. It puts those in the immediate environment at risk and can threaten the infuriated individual’s health, mental stability, career, and relationships depending on the context and extremity of the rage.
Open aggression is typically what we think of when we say someone has “anger issues,” but there are those whose anger issues are rooted in not being able to express anger at all. This type of maladaptive coping falls under the umbrella term passive aggression. Passive anger can look like sulking, subtle digs at others, and shutting down. What many don’t realize is it can also look like grief and depression.
Frequently, people have been punished for displaying anger, struggle with abandonment, or suffer from emotional disconnection fall into such patterns.
Whether outwardly volatile or passively despairing, anger is often rooted in trauma. Going back to the negative and irrational thoughts that a triggering event can evoke, these thoughts are elicited from the inner child and wounded self. When emotional responses lead to maladaptive anger, either grief or rage, we are not reacting to the event itself. We are responding to the traumatized parts of ourselves that are triggered by the event. Disproportionate sadness masks anger, and that anger disguises trauma.
As such, anger and grief persist as long as there is trauma to repress. To heal excessive ire, we must uncover, acknowledge, heal, and release the trauma that necessitates it or risk being trapped in a toxic cycle of grief and rage. But how? When we encounter an anger-triggering event, we must explore the thoughts that arise between the event and the emotional response. What is the source of the anger, what automatic thoughts are aroused, who comes to mind, what circumstances does your memory recall? The answers to these questions will help you uncover any wounds the event is dredging up and the associated trauma that needs to be released. This can easily be done through a QHHT session, when one is ready to squarely face the underlying, core trauma rather than repressing it.
Does this mean you’ll never get angry again? Hopefully not! Healthy displays of anger are adaptive, empowering, relationship strengthening, and beneficial. Healthy anger is balanced, proportional to the event, and expressive. There is no screaming. Everyone involved feels heard and listens, allowing all sides to be acknowledged, no “my way or the highway” energy. All parties can be impassioned while remaining patient and, above all, non-aggressive in word and gesture. Healthy anger, in short, means you may express your irritation, frustration, hurt, or disappointment with someone or a situation without losing control or sight of the real issue at hand. Interestingly, healthy anger can often play a pivotal role in healing and releasing trauma.
They say, for every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. Unhealthy anger blocks the blessings joy, presence, and love can create. On the path to self-actualization, anger is a towering gnarled tree in the middle of the road. You must remove it by the roots to ensure it never again casts a shadow on your light.
In love and truth,
Author Lori Lines
Disclaimer: Lori is a high-level channel. The information contained on this site is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis or treatment by a licensed physician. You should seek prompt medical care for any health issues and consult your doctor before using alternative medicine or making a change to your regimen.