Dark Night of The Soul (Part 2): The Night Is What Makes the Dawn so Bright

By Lori Lines

The purpose of the first installment of our deep dive into the Dark Night was to help you understand how this spiritual transformation can lead you down into the depths of despair, worthlessness, and emotionality. (Visit my here to see Part 1, if you've not read it yet.)
 
The Dark Night of the Soul can kick up trauma, insecurities and fears that have long been repressed, causing some to have to face the stark, often jarring, reality of their own mortality as the ego-self dies. To encapsulate my own deep Dark Night, it was an enduring period of a process relinquishing many created limiting beliefs, traumas, insecurities, wounds, behavioral and thinking patterns that no longer served where I was meant to go in life. In looking back and bringing what I've learned to the fore, it was indeed a rite of passage of sorts - A holy experience that is difficult to explain with mere words but is real nonetheless.

Socially and individually, the Dark Night causes upheaval as our mental schemas and social constructs become askew, turning life into a chilling house of mirrors. Life loses its meaning, making everything seem unfamiliar and foreboding. Yet, as grim as things may look, this is a story of hope. As we suffer every night, the darkness will recede at dawn, a time of re-birth and illumination. 

 The question is, how does one get through the Dark Night, with nary a flicker to lead the way?

Knowledge is Power
The best way to cope with this soul journey is to learn about the process and its purpose. Unfortunately, when I went through this journey, I had no frame of reference and I didn't know what to call it. So, luckily, you get to benefit from my experience here. :) 

Awareness of what it is, is as vital as why it is to endure the ego-death, loss of identity, and fear of the unknown throughout this spiritual transition. Knowing what you are going through, there is a peace and tranquility in knowing your trials and challenges can serve your greatest good and the good of society.

Don't Try to Steer the River
Like turbulent waters, swimming in the murky depths, during the Dark Night, can be profoundly confusing, tiring and draining. To prevent exhaustion, it is essential to swim with the current, not against it. To know when to stop and rest and to start paddling again is part of the lesson of the Dark Night. 

I have found many try to distract themselves and go into their addictions. Addictions can be anything from substance abuse, shopping, work, to sex or even serial dating, anything to distract the mind from the enduring discomfort with this process. If one loses a significant relationship, one may attempt to soothe the ego by fervently looking for a new person to fill the void. This can be construed as resistance to WHAT IS. Unfortunately, trying to fill the void with distractions is a trauma-based tactic that usually backfires.

Acceptance, surrender and release are necessary for growth from this time period. Understand that the Dark Night of the Soul will take us down whatever paths, stir whatever memories, and rid us of whatever aspects of our identity and society need to facilitate spiritual awakening to be reborn.

Grief is Tremendous, but Love is Bigger
This is a grieving process. You are grieving the loss of who you were, what life was, and the meaning you assigned to things like your career, your education, and your relationships. Socially we must accept the dying away of old constructs and mores that once gave us comfort, complacency, not because they served us well, but because they were familiar.

During the mourning period, treat yourself as you would a dear friend or loved one. If you need more sleep, less sleep, time alone, time with friends, more physical activity, less physical activity, as long as you are caring for yourself first with consideration, compassion, and love, honor your needs.

One of the lessons I learned from my Dark Night is how much time I spent allowing friends and loved ones to complain to me or to dump their problems when I wasn't prepared to receive this type of energy. My old self would jump into "fix-it" or "healer" mode, continuously enabling the others' dysfunction, and I realized I was teaching others how to treat me and, more importantly, why I allowed it. It wasn't their fault if I was not asserting appropriate boundaries. 

As I began to set limits with certain people in my life (caring for myself), I felt less drained and more empowered to be who I am, without apology, all the while remaining compassionate for myself and others. Some friends showed me who they were by leaving, when they didn't get what they wanted from me, any longer, and some friends showed me who they were by sticking by me and honoring my boundaries with love and care.

Boundaries with others is crucial, during the Dark Night because, although you cannot physically see it, your higher self is diligently working on your soul's accelerated healing. Believe me when I say, boundaries are an act of love, not only for yourself but for others who are not yet aware of themselves and their actions. 

Stay tuned for my article on Boundaries in the near future.

Meditation....The Language of the Spirit
This is the time to make space for the voice of Spirit and Your Higher Self, even if you designate 10 minutes every day to simply being still, observing your thoughts, sitting with your Spirit, and the wisdom of the higher consciousness. Allowing yourself to be lovingly embraced by the Universe not only provides guidance, but also serves as a comfort and solace from the turmoil you are experiencing during the Dark Night.

One of the things my higher self taught me, during my Dark Night, was to begin a mindfulness meditation practice, which I did. This practice was the antidote to leading me out of my dark night, which is why I added a mindfulness meditation to strengthen awareness coaching service to my business repertoire, to help clients navigate through their Dark Night of the Soul.

However, it is understood that this is not for everyone.  Sometimes just talking through the process will suffice, another service I offer at the end of this article. 

The Cure for the Pain is in the Pain
At times you may go day-to-day, hour-to-hour, and during the darkest times, moment-to-moment, but there is purpose in the pain and the social upheaval. I always tell my clients to stay the course and to allow whatever emotions and thoughts surface. Each trauma you uncover, aspect of your ego that dies, and uncomfortable reality you face takes you deeper into the dawn of awakening. Socially, this phase of storm and stress brings us closer to the all after the storm. When we are willing to go through the pain, rather than to go around it or above it, we find profound healing and we reveal deep spiritual truths.

I find this is a time when one may find the pain so unbearable, they resort to spiritual bypassing. When we bypass the pain of the spiritual lesson, the lesson comes in a bigger way later. Best to face it now.

The Greater the Storm, the Brighter the Rainbow
During the Dark Night of the Soul, there is panic, sadness, neediness, and turmoil because so much is lost. Individually, we may lose ourselves, socially, we can lose our way altogether. Yet, in reality, we are deprived of nothing significant in these temporary losses. Because of all that is lost, so many valuable things are gained. It is here when you realize how the Universe has had your back all along, even if you couldn't feel it.

From a higher perspective awakening within you, you relinquish your false sense of self. You know yourself to be a completely different person on the inside, which energetically radiates on the outside. It's like a cleansing of a deep-rooted sickness: your past perception of your true nature and your inadequate, often wrong opinion of who you think you are. As the inner conflict ceases, your spirit comes into alignment with your true self and you have been delivered of the intolerable bondage to your ego.

​As the sun rises on your Dark Night of the Soul, you will experience a freedom like you never have before, you will experience truth, awakening, and connection, which will radiate into the Universe. In a world where everyone who is called to realize their higher purpose through the Dark Night of the Soul achieves rebirth, society can come to know the unity, peace, and love our souls are destined for. Have faith that being committed and dedicated to healing yourself first is the most selfless gift you can give to the world. You are that powerful.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

If you feel you are going through a Dark Night of the Soul and want support from someone who has authentically gone through it and now can offer real compassion and insights into your process, I am offering a 6, one hour session package for $600 (a savings of $300) to help you navigate through this process of awakening. Just contact me at [email protected] for more details. Find out more about my services at higherselfaccess.com

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