Is Your Soul Advancing? Look at your relationships.

By Lori Lines

Many times when you are moving to a significantly higher ascension level you will find you have to let people go from your life who are no longer moving in the same direction beside you.  Just like one of my earlier posts suggests, you needed that person (or those people) to walk beside you on your journey to help teach you something or to help you heal something within.  Once you've completed your karma with them, you will know because they will no longer seem to have anything in common with you or you no longer see things in the same way as they do. Sometimes, no matter how hard you both try, it still doesn't work out to anyone's satisfaction. When this happens, we allow ourselves to get mired in feelings of low self-worth, judging ourselves as "failures."  Of course, this is an illusion that our society has set up for us to believe.  But, in reality, you have just completed something that you were meant to complete and now it's time to move forward. In other words, you are changing your vibrational frequency and they are no longer on your radio station.

Some of us go into denial when we stay in relationships too long.  Often, I have seen in cases such as this, when the relationship begins to get very toxic to both parties and real damage can be done to one's health and well-being.  These are relationships in which we are not meant to stay because we've probably outgrown them, in one way or another, and this causes more karmic pain to build up for both parties. Or, sometimes, the inherent foundation of the relationship needs to change, for example, you could have been romantically involved with someone and, when you both no longer felt the same way about each other, you can change the foundation of the relationship to a platonic friendship.  There are many reasons we are drawn to certain people in our lives, only to realize it has served its purpose for one reason or another.

The best way to handle these situations to mitigate your karma is to: 

1.) ACKNOWLEDGE and sit still in the uncomfortableness of the situation - feel it fully. That tightness in your heart or that sick feeling in your stomach or that fogginess in your brain  is a message that stuck energy is getting ready to purge itself.  This is where most people reach for their addictions. They don't want to accept the reality of WHAT IS and so they numb the feelings with sex, drugs, alcohol, food, work, exercise, etc.  It's obviously best not to reach for your addictions and to face WHAT IS NOW.

2.) EVALUATE yourself.  Who were you when you began this relationship? How much have you grown and how far have you come? What have you been through with this person in your life?  Where were you when you met?  Were you angry and vulnerable? Were you sad?  Perhaps this is where they were, too, and they are still stuck in that but you've moved on.  On what foundation was this relationship built?  How did this relationship help you?  And, how is this association hindering you now?  Do you get sad or angry when you see them?  Do you feel anxious? Drained?  Take your time with this one.  You might want to meditate on these questions, and more, and just see what answers bubble up from within you.  To help you see things more clearly, write the answers to these questions, and more, in a journal so that when you go back to read it, you can gain some clarity about how you feel and what steps to take next.

2.) GO INTO LOVE.  Most people do not want to hurt others intentionally. But what most people do not understand is that this belief is also an illusion. Now, you may not agree with me here, but if your intention is to be loving and to not be hurtful, whether they choose to be victimized and hurt is their issue to deal with, not yours.  We have no control over how others feel or react.  The best way to handle the situation is to face your own fears, move into love, and get truthful about where you are at that moment.

3.) COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS, HONESTLY. Consider letting the other party know you are in a different place in your life and you want to move on.  A lot of people I've known in the past have a really hard time with honesty. I've seen people looking for an out (through duplicity, affairs, etc.) or they even create a dramatic event placing themselves in a victim role to make someone else wrong. This is very painful and damaging to everyone and creates bad karma. Staying in your own power of love and just telling the entire truth is always better. It sets both of you free to move forward without shame or guilt.

4.) MOVE ON AND STAY OPEN.  Take responsibility for your own decisions and actions. If you say you've moved on, then move on. However, I always tell my clients in this situation to "NEVER say NEVER."  After a period of separation from an ex-friend or ex-lover, there is always the possibility that you are a vibrational match again. Sometimes old friends, old lovers, ex-spouses, can come back together in a stronger way, and build a new foundation based on who they are NOW after they've experienced certain lessons that have changed their outlook and self-awareness that did not work in the original relationship dynamics.  

Of course, in instances where severe emotional, spiritual and physical abuse were the norm, it would be advisable to proceed with caution, discernment and strict boundaries.

In the realm of Karma, the key is to live in a state of harmonious balance between polarities, always in love. 

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