On Guilt and Responsibility

By Lori Lines

In my article, titled Cause and Affects of Awakening, I wrote "...if we assume too much guilt, we will be more reluctant to accept responsibility and bypass it altogether..." a few of you asked what I meant by that and I felt like this part needed more explanation, so I wanted to expound on this thought.

The difference between guilt and responsibility is life-altering.  While some people may be misled, guilt and responsibility are mutually exclusive.  When we err, particularly if it leads to hurting ourselves or others, it is vital to our own growth to take responsibility.  When we take responsibility we empower ourselves in the process in which we realize our inner leverage to improve and secure future success, be it emotional, spiritual, or material.  

Guilt, on the other hand, devalues us.  It subconsciously undermines our self-worth and challenges our abilities.  Assuming shame, or "guilt-tripping" someone else, is a disempowering process in which we rob the 'guilty' party (or ourselves) of the power to improve and secure future achievements.

It is understandable, then, how a cycle of 'guiltiness' can lead to a sense of learned helplessness and chronic powerlessness.  Guilt is an emotionally evocative state.  Objectivity is difficult when we feel we must constantly defend ourselves.  This heightened state of emotional reactivity compromises our perceptions and our objectivity.  Whether it's a singular event or generally pervasive, guilt leads to frustration and anger, which can trigger a fight response or lead to a state of depression and futility, triggering a flight response.

Either way, what can we accomplish when we resist responsibility or seek to escape it altogether?

Guilt is self-perpetuating; shame begets more shame.  It takes an intentional shift in viewpoint to break the cycle.  The first way to reframe your experience is to remove your ego from the equation.  The ego thrives on judgments, and judgments are sustained by comparisons.  When we say to someone "you should have known better," the ego is actually saying, "someone else would have known better," or "I would have known better."  When it comes to ourselves, and we think "I did something bad," instead, the ego-consciousness whispers, "I AM someone bad."

Once we hush the ego-voice, we can practice self-acceptance and forgiveness.  Forgiveness is essential because when we forgive ourselves and others, we remove the boulder in our path of development and growth. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen the lightbulb come on with clients when they realize how their lack of forgiveness has stunted their ability to move forward on their path.  Forgiveness means when we know better, we can do better without burdening ourselves by our past faults. Which is a fundamental premise for responsibility.

Opposed to guilt, we can assume responsibility from a neutral and centered place of objectivity.  The ego is not activated by a fear of criticism and rejection.  Instead, the higher-self can commandeer our consciousness.  We can view our missteps, or the missteps of others, from a place of compassion.  Our higher consciousness appreciates that no one is perfect.  We are all works-in-progress on the path to self-actualization, looking to connect with others and, ultimately, our higher-selves.  From this perspective, we find grace for ourselves and others.  This grace means no one is so marred by their missteps that they, or their path, are irredeemable.

This is our seat of empowerment.  When accountability no longer threatens us, we are capable of adaptation, flexibility and growth.  By creating healthier experiences, we build confidence and find our power.  You will find, when you take responsibility for your 'wrongs,' drop guilt and shame, you will experience self-worth and inner strength when you achieve growth and a newfound faith in your ability to manifest your highest potential. 

Boulder removed. :)

In love and truth,
Lori Lines

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