By Lori Lines
"Why does this always happen to me?" "How do I always attract the wrong people?" "Why me?!" Most of us have either heard or have even said something like this at some point in our romantic lives. Our tendency is to blame bad luck or the "losers" we meet when things go south in our relationships.
Just because we do it doesn't make it right! To find the love, devotion, and unity we seek in healthy relationships, we must challenge ourselves to consider our role and the underpinnings of our belief systems, that drive us, in what went wrong. In other words, we need to examine what we did, or the energy we brought to the relationship to begin with, to cause the undesirable effects.
Asking yourself what role you played in the distrust, betrayal, frustration, disconnection, or ultimate breakdown of your relationship is a hard question to ask when it is framed in a way that is self-deprecating and guilt-ridden. It doesn't have to be this way. By asking yourself why you have chosen a sequence of cheaters, ignored red flags, didn't speak up when a boundary was crossed, or keep being drawn to the "work-in-progress" type, you will gain self-knowledge and empowerment, breaking these toxic cycles.
It can be a hard pill to swallow, yet we manifest an undesirable reality when we lack self-awareness. By allowing unserving belief systems and world views framed by trauma and heartache to go unchecked, unhealed, and unchanged, we end up with the same adverse results. Yet, when we understand the causal role we play, we are empowered to choose a different path, assume a different perspective, and choose different actions. By engaging in shadow work, release work, and accepting appropriate accountability, we can release the past, achieve a higher perspective, overcoming our self-imposed limitations and the confines of our comfort zones.
The issue with comfort zones is they are made to fit where we were, not where we are going. Remaining within our comfort zones leaves us doing the same things, with the same people or archetypes, in the same ways, limiting our spiritual growth and personal development. When we enmesh ourselves in situations or connections with a lower vibration than our own, they inevitably pull down our vibration. This drains our energy and creates stagnation. When we find connections and circumstances that match our vibration, we are uplifted, the shared energy is amplified.
It's important to trust that we will find the right connections and not begin desperately seeking them. Desperation is a bullet train to disempowerment. When we convince ourselves we need a partner as a source of love, well-being or affirmation outside of who we are, we give away our power. We ignore red flags, settle for less, and sacrifice pieces of our personhood because we are so distressed over the thought of being alone.
We must remember, we can be whole and happy alone. In fact, we must find inner completion and contentment before we can be part of a healthy relationship. When we cling to another for personal fulfillment, the result is neither will be fulfilled. No one other than you can validate, affirm, or complete your existence, meaning you will be unfulfilled, and so will your partner when faced with a task where success is unattainable.
Accountability is crucial in this instance as well. We must assume responsibility for our personal development, happiness, and sense of completion. This is foundational to self-actualization, empowerment, and well-being, yet there are also secondary benefits. When you are at one and at peace with yourself, you will be more attractive, particularly to like-minded individuals. No more low-vibrational energy drainers! Relationships where two complete individuals who love themselves and accept accountability for their lives unsurprisingly foster more growth, happiness, devotion, and fulfillment. Because these two people are not trying to make gains from a deficit, they are building up from a solid foundation on which to grow.
Too many people look at love as something to acquire, retain, and exchange, like a possession. Love is actually a state of being and a way of relating to each other and the world. As they say, love is a verb. Without action, it is merely a word. It is a series of behaviors, communicating, nurturing, supporting, connecting, trusting…
Of all the things we must do to love, trusting is vital. We've all been hurt. No matter the depth, the manner, or how long it's been since it occurred, these hurts can linger. Our hearts are like bruised or broken limbs. Even after the bruises have healed, we are sometimes still defensive and protective of them. We project judgment on to those who want to be in our lives, finding fault and making them wrong in order to protect ourselves. Memories of the pain linger and as they do so, we project our own wounds onto people, until we look within and completely heal ourselves and take accountability for our own sabotage. Yet to be in love, we must move beyond the fear of being hurt and be willing to stretch out of our comfort zones.
While we may not be able to forget, we must be willing to trust. As we embrace our vulnerability, the ego that rejects accountability, refuses change, and finds refuge in casting blame, is silenced. Vulnerability softens your heart, allowing love to flow inward and outward, a life-giving wellspring. Of course, there are risks in opening your heart to the potentiality of hurt and pain, but the reward of learning to first trust yourself is well worth the inner work!
In love and truth,
PS. Through hypnosis, we can explore and help with relationship issues including but not limited to:
Bringing love into your life
Fear of Abandonment
Co-dependency to Independence
Ending A Relationship
Forgetting or letting go of an Ex-Love
To book a phone, Zoom or in-person appointment click here:
By Lori Lines
We all know that person who fails to take responsibility for anything that goes awry in their life. They’ll lament and shovel heaps of blame on others and when that does not work, they will have a laundry list of excuses to soften the blow.
Bad things can happen to good people. Not everything that goes awry is due to someone’s fault, directly. Yet, people who play the victim have an M.O. They weigh themselves down so heavily with the mantle of victimhood that they render themselves powerless through their own negative self-talk and self-sabotage. To the awakening person, it’s common to see this behavior in others, which begs the question, “how am I at cause for the effects in my own life?” “What role, big or small, have I played in my own life situations and outcomes?”
Those of us who have or still play the role of the hapless victim, unable to assume responsibility for the bad and ultimately the good that takes place in our lives, often end up experiencing a life that is akin to being tossed in the waters of a tumultuous sea. Anger, depression, frustration, anxiety, compromise the matrix of the 3rd-dimensional experience and 5th-dimensional projection.
While some portray themselves as victims to manipulate and control others, most people do not intentionally burden themselves with the archetype. Victims are often born of trauma and betrayal. It is then they are taught that the world is a dangerous place, with dangerous people. After repeatedly experiencing traumatizing or hurtful situations, they begin to believe that bad things are bound to happen and keep happening, the result being a fractured individual. At its core, victimhood is a sense of disempowerment that goes unaddressed and unhealed, affecting the “victim’s” personality, worldview, and way of life.
The state of perpetual victimhood is associated with the theory of learned helplessness. This is when an animal or individual is forced to face painful, hurtful, or otherwise undesirable stimuli or experiences and becomes incapable of escaping or avoiding the same situations in the future due to a learned or adopted belief their circumstance is inescapable and beyond their control. Even when solutions and opportunities become available, they are unable or unwilling to adapt to the changing events, sometimes due to fear of losing a part of their identity.
Pause for a moment and ask yourself what things would look like if all of society, or at least a majority, struggled with learned helplessness. We would be in a continual state of decline, allowing ourselves, our homes, our jobs, our communities, our nations to fall into a state of disrepair because no one can be bothered to strive for better. We would cease to pursue more love, unity, advancement, growth. Vaguely familiar?
There is light at the end of the tunnel for those who struggle with learned helplessness and perpetual victimhood! People with a genuinely optimistic worldview are less vulnerable to falling into the rut of perpetual victimhood. Meaning, assuming the mantle of victimhood is often a choice, and instead, we must choose to look at life with hope and faith, as opposed to fear and distrust.
What most awakening souls understand is that the first step is to reposition ourselves as creators of our own lives and experiences. For better or worse, we must take accountability for the cause of the effects we encounter. When we confront circumstances beyond our control, for instance, being sideswiped by an errant driver or laid off due to company cutbacks, we must still view ourselves as possessing the wisdom, strength, and tenacity to be the cure of a changing, more positive effect.
As creators of our lives, we may fear picking up the brush and palette out of dread that our creation will fall short of our expectations or the expectations of others. When we are fully responsible for the life we create, we fear a mistake or stumble could make us look foolish or lesser-than. This is the ego talking. Our higher-self knows there is no shame in failure. There are lessons and wisdom, as long as we are humble, willing to admit our role, and willing to learn. When we are receptive to the inherent wisdom in defeat, we no longer need to fear responsibility. Instead of thinking about the misstep, we begin to focus on the next opportunity to show what we have learned.
Where we lose a person, an opportunity, a material asset, or a perspective that upheld our beliefs that taint our worldview, we must learn to find peace with the loss. By viewing these losses with a healthier attitude of gratitude for having even had them to begin with or for an opportunity to embrace new things, we are less likely to sink into a sea of despair and view the world as unjust and malevolent. When suitable, accepting responsibility for our defeats empowers us to generate new mental, physical, and spiritual abundance.
Spiritual growth and abundance are the greatest reasons to cast off the mantle of victimhood and instead pick up the painter’s brush, the sculptors chisel, or the writer’s pen. By accepting your role as the creator and source of the outcomes you experience, you can learn how to prune and shape who you are, fostering enormous growth.
Accountability is the first step of self-actualization and crucial to understanding the role we play in the universal balance of cause and effect. This understanding is key to shifting the matrix and ascending to the 5th dimension. A cause and effect most are sure to stand behind.
In love and truth,
P.S. If you have recently awakened to a pattern in your life and would like help to determine your cause for its effects, I'd love to process it out with you. Acknowledging our individual roles in life situations is 90% of the healing process. Appointments are now being scheduled in April! To book your appointment with me, click on the button below:
By Lori Lines
Over the last several decades, the age of technology has crept into our lives. With each decade, new advancements and discoveries have facilitated, accelerated, and, in many ways, encumbered our lives. Most people cannot say precisely when or how, but the media, technology, and artificial intelligence have become essential to daily functioning for many members of society. With that, issues with depression, anxiety, apathy, and spiritual, emotional, and mental imbalances have increased, lowering our vibrational frequency.
Yet, there is hope with the 3rd to 5th-dimensional ascension when we have the opportunity to lift our vibrations to resonate with the love, light, and harmony of "New Earth," or the 5D. However, the disconnection AI and the media fosters impairs our ability to achieve actual ascension. This disconnect leads many to numb the pain of the 3rd dimension, get lost in a state of learned helplessness, and resort to counterfeit forms of ascension that only temporarily elevate.
The time is now to break free from the disinformation, chaos, and despair the current fear-mongering, upheaval, and shallow experiences generate. We must empower ourselves, learn to honor our personal truths, follow our intuition, and realize and align with the harmonious vibration of the Divine that dwells within us, but how?
First, we must practice self-awareness. Without judging or projecting an emotional response, start asking yourself why. Why do you get up and turn the news on before you've nourished yourself? Why do you spend your free time exposing yourself to social media and the fear-provoking posts? Why do you lose yourself in your phone or tv to avoid sitting quietly with your thoughts?
By becoming aware of your motivations, what DRIVES you, you can gradually begin to change your behavior. This is how you will find the willpower to turn off the news and disconnect from social media. Allowing more time for you to connect with yourself as a spiritual being through meditation, journaling, or simply enjoying being one with nature.
We ARE nature unless we succumb to the noise of AI.
This is how you reencounter yourself as a being of energy and light, a spiritual being on a temporary human journey. This is not to say your body is inconsequential! Your physical vessel holds cellular memories of this life and the last. Your body is a temple to manifest the present and prepare for a more loving, aligned, divine future.
It is through honoring your physical body that you realign with the heartbeat of nature. There is a vitality and strength that comes from realizing that you are one with the rambling rivers, centuries-old trees, and the ever-changing seasons. By embracing this unity, you will reawaken to the divine universal interworking and the oneness and completion it represents.
Ultimately, we are meant to ascend the physical, but first, we must take a journey that celebrates our temporal vessels' preciousness and sanctity. For it is within that you will learn the divine resonance of empowerment, strength, self-assuredness, self-trust, and peace.
This is the meaning of true freedom, when you are liberated enough to think for yourself, act in accordance with your personal beliefs and highest values and pursue the path of ascension. As they say, freedom is not just doing what we want. It is doing what is right. Liberate yourself!
In love and truth,
To help get back into your body, check out my Body Scan Meditation by clicking here:
By Lori Lines
We heard it time and again throughout 2020, and 2021 is no different, "we are living in unprecedented times." There's no telling what will flash across our newsfeed or be in bold print on the newspaper's front page from one day to the next. But, ask yourself, has there ever been? Describing the current epoch as unprecedented, uncertain, unpredictable falsely implies that there has ever been any certainty in life.
Certainty is an illusion. We all have life paths, better described as a series of checkpoints, opposed to step-by-step GPS navigation, due to our own free will. Taking into account the free will of every member of humanity, it only makes sense to expect the unexpected.
Given that there are no real certainties in our current reality, we have nothing to lose by letting go of the notion of precedented, predictable, certain times. In fact, a lot can be gained when we begin peering past these illusions, a construct in the matrix, and learn to surrender to the unpredictability of life, and declare freedom from responsibility for things beyond our control.
This can be a frightening proposition to some, if not most, who have never considered it. The idea that there are no guarantees or concrete parameters by which reality must abide can cause panic. Yet, when we think about how much we miss out on, overlook, and how limiting the illusion of life's certainties can be, it's a fear worth challenging.
By clinging to certainties, like wisps of clouds, we disempower ourselves, losing trust in our ability to manifest the circumstances we wish to live or cope under circumstances we want to avoid. We can also lose connection to the divinity of the universe and faith that no matter what we are faced with, we can learn, grow, and evolve. Clinging to the vague notion of future probabilities causes us to look past our present experiences, opportunities for development, growth, blessing, and gifts.
Instead, set the intention that no matter what you face, you have the strength, intelligence, wisdom, and courage to face your circumstances head-on. Have faith that even the worst events in your life can be a chance to achieve ascension and realign with the power of Universal Love.
Often, when we have faced trauma, heartache, and grief, we reach desperately to gain certitude before each new step. Our inner child warns, "the last time we were caught off guard, things went very badly," so we seek security in the illusion that the future is predictable. This is an attempt at control, a coping mechanism that may have served a purpose at one time but no longer does.
This pursuit of ultimate control can feel crushing. Carrying the burden of preparing mentally, emotionally, and perhaps materially for every eventuality that may arise and holding yourself responsible when an outcome you never considered is played out, is too much for one person to bear.
Have a talk with your inner child. Let them know that they are safe, cared for, and loved. Reparent the frightened child, teenager, or wounded warrior within, letting them know that while there are no guarantees in life, you are fully equipped to provide and protect them in the face of obstacles. Reassure this inner child through your heart space. Let them know surrender means they are also open to unexpected blessings, miracles, and growth.
Living your life based solely on what you expect to happen is very limiting. When negative mindsets lead to negative expectations, we can end up fearful and stagnant. On the other hand, depression and apathy can be the result of positive expectations not met. Expectations create a framework, outcomes fall outside of it result in fear, frustration, and disappointment. Meaning, when something good falls outside of the schema, we often overlook it and neglect to appreciate our good fortune.
Best to release expectations, when expectations arise, reframe your mindset with an affirmation like "whatever will be will be," or send an intention out into the universe that you will be open to all possibilities and welcome unpredictability as an opportunity for creativity, personal development, or celebration. Then align yourself with that thought and LIVE it. Why limit yourself to set expectations when the divine usually has something much more beneficial in mind, like a lesson or a blessing?
Letting go and surrendering happens with practice. Consider engaging in some shadow-work or rootwork to confront your fears and trauma. Make a list of all the things you will have the freedom to do when your time is not spent focusing on the future and its uncertainties. Practicing mindfulness, presence, and meditation can ground your energy and keep you focused on the present. Building a trusting relationship with your higher self and the divine nature of the universe is a nurturing, healing pursuit in any circumstance. It provides assurance that you are supported, cared for, and loved, a few of the seldom certainties we can have.
When the illusion of certainty is released, many come to find life is more enjoyable, and things run more smoothly. No more sleepless nights, chronic worry, or panic when faced with the unexpected. Letting go and surrendering may seem daunting, but true freedom, as they say, is not given. It is won!
In Love and Truth,
By Lori Lines
In my last full article, I mentioned how important asserting Boundaries are, especially when we are going through the Dark Night of the Soul. I also thought writing an article to expound on the importance of boundaries in our lives, in general, is warranted because this seems to be an issue many share with me as part of taking responsibility for ourselves when relationship issues come up.
Having just passed the holiday season, many of us know the frustration, anxiety, and grief resulting from feeling overextended, especially when we are unable to say no. Your aunt can’t wait to receive her box of your famous fudge, the kids don’t understand, while Santa has an unlimited budget you don’t. Perhaps your partner expects you to buy the gift for their office secret Santa party, as if you already don’t have so much to do. It can all feel like too much!
Of course, frustrations like these are not limited to the holiday season. Feeling stretched too thin, shouldering too many demands and responsibilities, and having your needs sidestepped can happen year-round. We often find ourselves in these situations, asking, “why do people treat me this way,” or “what gives them the right?" Often, the reality is we do!
Boundaries are an essential part of self-care, self-love, and harmonious relationships. They are the limitations and restrictions we establish within our interpersonal connections, designating responsibility and defining matters of respect. We often fail to instill and uphold boundaries because we fear we will anger, frustrate or alienate others.
Boundaries define expectations and agreements within your romantic relationships. For instance, some couples agree talking to exes is out of the question, while some determine socializing with single friends can compromise the connection. Just as you set physical boundaries in the closet, “your side and mine,” you can even set boundaries in the bedroom.
Friends and family relationships also call for healthy boundaries. No drop-ins without notice, a refusal to have your relationship or parenting criticized, or perhaps no forced interactions with another friend or family member that triggers discomfort or trauma.
You can also improve your work-life when instilling boundaries with bosses and coworkers, whether they are permanently enforced, no calls after hours, or temporary, no last-minute projects during the holidays.
Remember, boundaries are a necessary, important part of interpersonal functioning and entail whatever limitations preserve our mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health that protect your wellbeing.
Think about the boundaries you place on yourself. You may have a bedtime, a workout routine, work deadlines, and even limitations on your tv and social media time. They are focal to your productivity, vitality, and mental health. It happens that you may spend too long on your smartphone, skip the gym for a few days, or stay up too late. When this happens, you re-center, refocus, and re-establish your personal boundaries because, without them, your life would be rather chaotic!
The same applies to your external relationships. Boundaries provide much-needed structure and balance, yet they can be overstepped, challenged, or altogether disregarded. Accountability is crucial to maintain boundaries. When a boundary is violated, it should be voiced. Left unchecked, it will be crossed time and time again, harming the relationship, your self-worth, and wellbeing.
Failure to inform someone that they have crossed a boundary also robs them of the opportunity to heal, grow, and self-actualize. By acknowledging that a boundary has been crossed, you reinforce your own value system and worth, but you also give the person, who overstepped, the chance to explore themselves. What made them think this was okay? Did the boundary make them feel insecure, angry, hurt?
While healthy boundaries mean you are not obligated to help them in this exploratory, they can learn a great deal about themselves and their own boundaries by being held accountable.
There are times when people refuse to honor your boundaries. Keeping these people at an emotional and spiritual distance is needed. Through the act of distancing yourself, you enable them to gain a great deal of insight and growth, even if it takes time, when they are ready to take responsibility to look within themselves.
People often reject boundaries because they view them as repressive and restrictive. When, in fact, they foster a completely different energy. When you set and uphold boundaries, there is freedom! Like a child who knows the limits of safe play, we are free to be more fully ourselves when we share healthy boundaries. We can be open, honest, and vulnerable without feeling guarded, resentful, or fake.
Setting, respecting, and maintaining boundaries is an act of love. Boundaries promote self-love and unity. They enable you to better love yourself, teach others to better love themselves, and foster a sense of harmony and trust in your relationships. Anyone who wants to be in your life will come to embrace your boundaries because boundaries say, “I want you to love me, and I want to love you….here’s how”, what a beautiful opportunity!
In love and truth,
By Lori Lines
The purpose of the first installment of our deep dive into the Dark Night was to help you understand how this spiritual transformation can lead you down into the depths of despair, worthlessness, and emotionality. (Visit my here to see Part 1, if you've not read it yet.)
The Dark Night of the Soul can kick up trauma, insecurities and fears that have long been repressed, causing some to have to face the stark, often jarring, reality of their own mortality as the ego-self dies. To encapsulate my own deep Dark Night, it was an enduring period of a process relinquishing many created limiting beliefs, traumas, insecurities, wounds, behavioral and thinking patterns that no longer served where I was meant to go in life. In looking back and bringing what I've learned to the fore, it was indeed a rite of passage of sorts - A holy experience that is difficult to explain with mere words but is real nonetheless.
Socially and individually, the Dark Night causes upheaval as our mental schemas and social constructs become askew, turning life into a chilling house of mirrors. Life loses its meaning, making everything seem unfamiliar and foreboding. Yet, as grim as things may look, this is a story of hope. As we suffer every night, the darkness will recede at dawn, a time of re-birth and illumination.
The question is, how does one get through the Dark Night, with nary a flicker to lead the way?
Knowledge is Power
The best way to cope with this soul journey is to learn about the process and its purpose. Unfortunately, when I went through this journey, I had no frame of reference and I didn't know what to call it. So, luckily, you get to benefit from my experience here. :)
Awareness of what it is, is as vital as why it is to endure the ego-death, loss of identity, and fear of the unknown throughout this spiritual transition. Knowing what you are going through, there is a peace and tranquility in knowing your trials and challenges can serve your greatest good and the good of society.
Don't Try to Steer the River
Like turbulent waters, swimming in the murky depths, during the Dark Night, can be profoundly confusing, tiring and draining. To prevent exhaustion, it is essential to swim with the current, not against it. To know when to stop and rest and to start paddling again is part of the lesson of the Dark Night.
I have found many try to distract themselves and go into their addictions. Addictions can be anything from substance abuse, shopping, work, to sex or even serial dating, anything to distract the mind from the enduring discomfort with this process. If one loses a significant relationship, one may attempt to soothe the ego by fervently looking for a new person to fill the void. This can be construed as resistance to WHAT IS. Unfortunately, trying to fill the void with distractions is a trauma-based tactic that usually backfires.
Acceptance, surrender and release are necessary for growth from this time period. Understand that the Dark Night of the Soul will take us down whatever paths, stir whatever memories, and rid us of whatever aspects of our identity and society need to facilitate spiritual awakening to be reborn.
Grief is Tremendous, but Love is Bigger
This is a grieving process. You are grieving the loss of who you were, what life was, and the meaning you assigned to things like your career, your education, and your relationships. Socially we must accept the dying away of old constructs and mores that once gave us comfort, complacency, not because they served us well, but because they were familiar.
During the mourning period, treat yourself as you would a dear friend or loved one. If you need more sleep, less sleep, time alone, time with friends, more physical activity, less physical activity, as long as you are caring for yourself first with consideration, compassion, and love, honor your needs.
One of the lessons I learned from my Dark Night is how much time I spent allowing friends and loved ones to complain to me or to dump their problems when I wasn't prepared to receive this type of energy. My old self would jump into "fix-it" or "healer" mode, continuously enabling the others' dysfunction, and I realized I was teaching others how to treat me and, more importantly, why I allowed it. It wasn't their fault if I was not asserting appropriate boundaries.
As I began to set limits with certain people in my life (caring for myself), I felt less drained and more empowered to be who I am, without apology, all the while remaining compassionate for myself and others. Some friends showed me who they were by leaving, when they didn't get what they wanted from me, any longer, and some friends showed me who they were by sticking by me and honoring my boundaries with love and care.
Boundaries with others is crucial, during the Dark Night because, although you cannot physically see it, your higher self is diligently working on your soul's accelerated healing. Believe me when I say, boundaries are an act of love, not only for yourself but for others who are not yet aware of themselves and their actions.
Stay tuned for my article on Boundaries in the near future.
Meditation....The Language of the Spirit
This is the time to make space for the voice of Spirit and Your Higher Self, even if you designate 10 minutes every day to simply being still, observing your thoughts, sitting with your Spirit, and the wisdom of the higher consciousness. Allowing yourself to be lovingly embraced by the Universe not only provides guidance, but also serves as a comfort and solace from the turmoil you are experiencing during the Dark Night.
One of the things my higher self taught me, during my Dark Night, was to begin a mindfulness meditation practice, which I did. This practice was the antidote to leading me out of my dark night, which is why I added a mindfulness meditation to strengthen awareness coaching service to my business repertoire, to help clients navigate through their Dark Night of the Soul.
However, it is understood that this is not for everyone. Sometimes just talking through the process will suffice, another service I offer at the end of this article.
The Cure for the Pain is in the Pain
At times you may go day-to-day, hour-to-hour, and during the darkest times, moment-to-moment, but there is purpose in the pain and the social upheaval. I always tell my clients to stay the course and to allow whatever emotions and thoughts surface. Each trauma you uncover, aspect of your ego that dies, and uncomfortable reality you face takes you deeper into the dawn of awakening. Socially, this phase of storm and stress brings us closer to the all after the storm. When we are willing to go through the pain, rather than to go around it or above it, we find profound healing and we reveal deep spiritual truths.
I find this is a time when one may find the pain so unbearable, they resort to spiritual bypassing. When we bypass the pain of the spiritual lesson, the lesson comes in a bigger way later. Best to face it now.
The Greater the Storm, the Brighter the Rainbow
During the Dark Night of the Soul, there is panic, sadness, neediness, and turmoil because so much is lost. Individually, we may lose ourselves, socially, we can lose our way altogether. Yet, in reality, we are deprived of nothing significant in these temporary losses. Because of all that is lost, so many valuable things are gained. It is here when you realize how the Universe has had your back all along, even if you couldn't feel it.
From a higher perspective awakening within you, you relinquish your false sense of self. You know yourself to be a completely different person on the inside, which energetically radiates on the outside. It's like a cleansing of a deep-rooted sickness: your past perception of your true nature and your inadequate, often wrong opinion of who you think you are. As the inner conflict ceases, your spirit comes into alignment with your true self and you have been delivered of the intolerable bondage to your ego.
As the sun rises on your Dark Night of the Soul, you will experience a freedom like you never have before, you will experience truth, awakening, and connection, which will radiate into the Universe. In a world where everyone who is called to realize their higher purpose through the Dark Night of the Soul achieves rebirth, society can come to know the unity, peace, and love our souls are destined for. Have faith that being committed and dedicated to healing yourself first is the most selfless gift you can give to the world. You are that powerful.
In love and truth,
If you feel you are going through a Dark Night of the Soul and want support from someone who has authentically gone through it and now can offer real compassion and insights into your process, I am offering a 6, one hour session package for $600 (a savings of $300) to help you navigate through this process of awakening. Just contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more details. Find out more about my services at higherselfaccess.com
By Lori Lines
"Dark Night of the Soul" sounds ominous, doesn't it? In many ways, it is, yet, like your first real heartbreak or significant failure, many believe it is a standard part of spiritual growth and development - a major growing pain as seekers on the road to higher consciousness will pass through this rite of passage, an initiation of sorts, before the seeker is admitted into a regular connection with higher consciousness.
The Dark Night of the Soul is described by some as similar to mild depression or general sense of malaise. You feel lost, stuck in a rut, wistful, and sleeping and eating are disrupted. Others describe it as a soul-crushing deeply depressed state, at times so profound people may believe they are truly dying. Having gone through this journey myself, it felt deeper than a depression and most certainly, "soul-crushing." To me, it felt as if my light had been extinguished and all hope was lost.
Interestingly, we can undergo similar times of storms and stress socially. During these times, life can feel bleak, the inequity and hate paints a dystopian society, and the current social structures lose their meaning. The sense of meaninglessness is a feature of the dark night. On the communal or personal level, nothing seems to make much sense, including life itself.
Many things can trigger a Dark Night, a loss, a death, a disaster, an injustice, an ego-assault, and an ego-death. Socially or individually, it can come when we can no longer explain maladaptive systems and structures, dysfunctional perceptions and thought patterns, and low vibrational automatic behaviors. By profoundly examining the frameworks of life, those that govern society, and those that shape our values become so askew that they collapse.
On a personal level, this collapse may cause you to lose touch with who you are. This is called ego-death. It is symptomatic of the Dark Night. As your world loses meaning, so does your place in it. You can't fit in as you had before. You know on some level the reality of higher consciousness and yearn to be more deeply in communion with this part of yourself, yet you somehow can't fit in or feel at home in the company of those who you usually relate to, let alone yourself. The ego thrives on comparison and judgment, when existing measures are no longer sustainable, the ego's voice dies away.
This can lead to feeling lost. During the Dark Night, the veil is lifted, and you begin to see what an illusion your old reality was. It is here we find ourselves in a state of suspended animation with no 'new' reality to cling to. At this stage, people often feel as though they live in a void of emptiness in which nothing is real. Days, weeks, months and years can drone on and the part that's so difficult to accept is there's no finite time we can cling as to the duration of this experience.
Your motivation may plummet. Work, education, success, esteem, and popularity no longer drives you. Some people experience the need to rid themselves of material possessions, relationships, and pursuits that no longer fulfill them. Initially, this cleansing may seem like just what you need. In the end, it can trigger feelings of worthlessness. Your ego may start to press you, "who are you without your things or your people?"
At some point during your Dark Night, memories and old traumas may rise to the surface. From your current realm of emptiness, these flashbacks can elicit an intense emotional reaction. In fact, everything you encounter may garner a more visceral response. This results from the ego falling back, and the subconscious (higher self) taking the helm, reactivating parts of yourself that have been long denied and repressed.
As your subconscious awareness rises, you may feel like you are thinking with two brains. The subconscious mind sitting back with pen and paper jotting down notes as the conscious mind darts back and forth from one fearful thought to the next. When you are aware of your thoughts, this state of higher consciousness can be unsettling, to say the least. At worst, some people believe they are losing touch with their sanity. But, in reality, one going through this process is gaining their sanity.
Another symptom of the subconscious taking the lead is the ego will wave a distress signal. "I'm dying! SOS!" Many who walk their path during the Dark Night of the Soul start to become profoundly aware of their mortality. This awareness can be so stark, some even believe it is they, themselves, who are dying, not the ego.
The Dark Night can be a lonely time of isolation regardless of who may be around you. During this phase you must confront the fears and insecurities that emerge from the shadows. At times people's sleep is dysregulated, causing one to sleep too much or not enough. The same can happen with food and physical activity.
Similarly, when we experience a Dark Night in the social context, we can be afraid to challenge old detrimental perspectives and social mores. Our daily foundations become dysregulated, and so can the unity we extend to all members of humanity.
So, why must we endure it, for some more than once, this long, dark, difficult night of suffering? Because, as with most nights, when it is complete, we awaken. Awaken into a higher state of consciousness, if we will just allow ourselves to do so. In this transformed state of consciousness, we are set free to ascend to merge with our higher self.
It is important to point out that not everyone goes through the above mentioned intensity of the Dark Night of the Soul. But, if you are, understand that this is YOUR way. And, once on the other side of it, it is a rite of passage that should be honored, as you will be completely transformed.
This experience of being reborn is one of greater unity, love, peace and understanding of one's self and others on a very intimate level. Yes, it is a very dark night, but the sunrise is breathtaking.
Stay tuned for Part 2. The Night is What Makes the Dawn So Bright.
In love and truth,
PS: If you feel you are going through a Dark Night of the Soul and want support from someone who has authentically gone through it and now can offer real compassion and insights into your process, I am offering a 6, one hour session package for $600 (a savings of $300). Just contact me at email@example.com for more details. Find out more about my services at www.higherselfaccess.com.
Author Lori Lines
Disclaimer: Lori is a high-level channel. The information contained on this site is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis or treatment by a licensed physician. You should seek prompt medical care for any health issues and consult your doctor before using alternative medicine or making a change to your regimen.