The Benefits of Healing the Inner Child, An Imperative in Today's Society

By Lori Lines
Your spouse asks you to join them for a show, but you decline, explaining that you must catch up on work. They go anyway, and you lash out because you feel abandoned. Still, you did tell them you were too busy.

Your boss asks you to stay late and give her feedback on a project she's been working on, you have a prior engagement, but you blow it off because you feel elated to be "chosen" and acknowledged despite this being an unpaid infringement on your private time.
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You promise your friend you will come over and help her prepare for a party. You get absorbed in a Wordle puzzle at the last minute, ignoring her call when she phones to see where you are. You realize that you don't feel up to it but feel too anxious to let your friend know.

What do all these examples have in common? They could all be indicative of a need for inner child healing!

What is Inner Child Healing?

Also known as inner child work, it is any healing practice that addresses needs that weren't met or wounds that were created when we were children. While inner child wounds are prevalent among victims of trauma and neglect, we all have an inner child who may not have been loved, guided, or even reprimanded in the way they needed during development.
 
Inner child healing creates space for the child locked within the subconscious mind to speak their truth, needs, and feelings, drowning out the echoes of those who criticized, rejected, and labeled them. When we allow our inner child a choice and a voice, we self-actualize through integrating the shadow and light or the subconscious and conscious.
 
The principal goals of inner child work are to acknowledge their wounds, recognize the maladaptive beliefs and coping strategies they use to navigate the world, and heal by hearing, protecting, honoring, and reparenting the inner child.

Signs Your Inner Child is Wounded

There are many "symptoms" of an inner child needing healing. They can be as seemingly insignificant as repeatedly playing hooky from work during a deadline or as glaring as multiple DUIs! The following are some of the most common cries for help from the inner child.

Codependence Vs. Alienation – A tendency to adopt the belief that "I can't live without you" is just as indicative of wounding as "I don't need anyone." Healthy adults value their independence yet, allow themselves to ask for help when needed.
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Reactivity – When any inconvenience results in an emotional breakdown or disruptive acting out, this is the "adult" manifestation of a temper tantrum. We are intended for thoughtful and intuitive responses to life, not impulsive and impetuous reactions.

Self-Destruction – When we think of destructive behaviors, we often things of gambling, alcohol and drug abuse, compulsive shopping, and infidelity. However, self-destructive coping also includes workaholism, restrictive dieting, overly people-pleasing, and serial monogamy.

Toxic Attachment Patterns – Whether in platonic or romantic relationships, those with an inner child wound tend to struggle with unhealthy attachment patterns. This can include avoiding conflict, emotional expression, or meaningful conversation. This often goes hand in hand with anxious attachment, involving the pathological need to please others. There may be a tendency to dismiss their needs for those of others or vice versa. This is often associated with being a gas lighter or a reoccurring pattern of being gaslighted. 

Benefits of Inner Child Healing

We are often taught the "adult" thing to do when suffering is to suck it up. This leads to a tendency to reject our inner child and look disdainfully upon the part of ourselves that is wounded and bereft. This contributes to a fractured sense of self, leading to self-loathing, inauthenticity, developmental and spiritual stagnation, emotional detachment, alienation from others, humanity, and Spirit. 
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Embracing the inner child teaches us there is no shame in the shadows of our wounds, thoughts, and emotions. By accepting the self fully, we can integrate the shadow and light, self-actualize, and ascend – we are no longer fractured. We are whole!

Inner child work enriches our lives on many levels, elevating our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health, nourishing our relationships, fostering success in our careers, and contributing to an overall sense of fulfillment and joy. We are catalysts of generational and communal healing when we heal our partnerships and families through inner child work. Moreover, if every child was swaddled in love and had a heart overflowing with empowerment, we could heal the world, creating a wave of awakening and enlightenment!

Methods of Inner Child Healing

The best way to create space for the inner child is to quiet the left brain and activate the right. The left brain is a locust of logic, reasoning, and conditioning. The left brain is the source of life's "shoulds and shouldn'ts" and is heavily restricted by the limitations of the 3D and societal mores. Alternatively, the right brain is a flowing source of emotions, intuition, creativity, instinctual knowing, imagination, and higher vision. The following modalities are trusted tools for inner child healing.
Art Therapy – By activating the right brain, creative arts and art therapy under the guidance of a trained practitioner provides the inner child a chance to play, create, and express themselves.

Hypnosis – Bypassing the conscious mind and accessing unconscious resources, hypnosis can create space for the inner child to convey their trauma and wounds while also giving them access to healing.

Journaling – Inner child journal prompts to build a rapport with the inner child, strengthening and honoring their voice. It is an excellent way to begin the healing journey by creating a safe space without shame or guilt.

Meditation & Mindfulness – Quieting the mental chatter, self-criticisms, and internalized judgments of the left brain, these practices soothe the nervous system and create a peaceful, broad expanse for the inner child to explore and express. 

QHHT – Bypassing both the left brain and the ego-self, QHHT reactivates and strengthens the right brain while fostering a connection with the higher self. The higher self can then inform the healing processes by comforting and empowering the inner child, accessing repressed memories, and providing a safe space to explore "negative" or shameful emotions.
 
Final Thoughts…

Your inner child is a seed. Though small and hidden, it is the foundation of growth for your entire being. Therefore, while your inner child's wounds may not be your fault, their healing is still in your hands…your life depends on it!

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines

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