The Dark Side of Positivity: Understanding "Toxic Positivity" and its Connection to Spiritual Bypassing

By Lori Lines

Seeking positivity has become a famous mantra in a world that often seems fraught with challenges and adversities. Positivity, in itself, is not harmful. In fact, fostering a positive outlook can enhance mental well-being and strengthen our aura. However, there exists a dangerous extreme: toxic positivity. This term refers to the excessive and enforced positivity that dismisses any form of negative emotion or struggle, denying the complexity of human emotions. In spirituality, this phenomenon takes on a specific form known as spiritual bypassing. So, let's delve into the dark side of positivity, exploring the concepts of toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing and the detrimental impact they can have on mental and spiritual health.

Understanding Toxic Positivity
​
Toxic positivity is the tendency to overemphasize positive emotions and dismiss or invalidate any form of negativity. While the intention behind encouraging positivity might be good, toxic positivity often suppresses genuine emotions, leading many to feel guilt or shame for experiencing natural human feelings such as sadness, anger, or grief. This unrealistic expectation to always be positive can create a facade of happiness, masking the real issues that need attention and resolution.

Spiritual Bypassing: A Deceptive Escape

Spiritual bypassing is a term coined by psychologist John Welwood to describe the tendency to use spiritual beliefs and practices to avoid dealing with painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs. It's a way of sidestepping the necessary emotional work by clinging to a superficial sense of spirituality. For instance, someone might believe that their faith should shield them from all negative emotions, leading them to suppress feelings of pain or anger rather than confronting and processing them.

The Dangers of Suppressed Emotions

Suppressing emotions, whether through toxic positivity or spiritual bypassing, can have severe consequences on mental and emotional well-being. Unresolved emotions tend to resurface in unexpected ways, potentially causing anxiety, depression, or even physical health issues. Moreover, the denial of negative emotions prevents genuine self-reflection and personal growth, hindering our ability to develop resilience and emotional intelligence.

Examples of Toxic Positivity:

Experiencing guilt for being sad or angry
Reciting positive quotes for hard situations without going deeper
Dismissing others' difficult feelings
Hiding painful emotions
Ignoring your problems

Embracing Emotional Authenticity

A healthy approach involves acknowledging the full spectrum of human emotions. It's important to understand that feeling sadness, anger, or frustration doesn't diminish spiritual beliefs or personal strength. In fact, embracing these emotions with compassion and understanding can deepen spiritual practices and foster genuine personal growth.

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking free from the cycle of toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing requires self-awareness and self-compassion. It involves recognizing and accepting all emotions without judgment. Spiritual practices can be powerful tools for self-discovery and healing, but they should not serve as a means to escape from reality. Instead, they should provide a foundation for understanding oneself more deeply and facing life's challenges with resilience and authenticity.

Final Thoughts...

Positivity, in its genuine form, can be a beacon of hope and resilience in challenging times. However, when positivity transforms into toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing, it becomes a deceptive mask that hinders genuine emotional expression and personal growth. Embracing the complexity of human emotions, and acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of life, is the path to true spiritual and emotional well-being. Let us strive for authenticity, compassion, and self-awareness, creating a space where all emotions are valid and where personal growth can flourish organically.

In love and truth,
Lori Lines