The In-Between Times

By Lori Lines

Moving through life can feel a lot like traveling in a car. Stressful times are like traffic, hectic yet inert – a lot is going on, but not a lot of progress is being made. Sometimes, we tool around as we would doing errands, from one minor milestone to another - working, socializing, a little growth here, a lesson or two there. There are long drives, through scenic landscapes, like the journey from high school to university or dating to marriage.  Then, there are drives along an endless grey landscape of highways and byways, infinite twists and turns with no end in sight, leaving you feeling lost and directionless. These are life’s “in-between times.”

Different Shades of Grey 
The in-between times are often neither light nor dark but rather grey. The absence of anything definitively positive or truly negative is its own kind of loss. It is the discomfort of numbness, like the pressure you feel when a limb falls asleep. It is the pain of feeling hollow, unalive, and unseen.
 
It has a gradual onset. As you go about your day-to-day, life starts to lose its color; as the saturation slowly drains, everything fades to grey. Confusion begins to set in as one day runs into the next, with nothing to differentiate it. You ask yourself if every day is the same, where are you going, and how are you supposed to get there? Frustration will begin to build, giving way to anger. Soon, the dull ache of the grey becomes a crushing weight.

The Shadow of Great Opportunity
We’ve all seen it, and many of us have experienced it. A life not fully lived becomes a heavy burden. People begin to feel like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the mountain every day for eternity, never getting ahead. Often to help deaden the pain, people distract themselves with shopping, drinking, serial dating, and eating. This often results in chronic feelings of anxiety and depression.
 
The remedy? Knowing that the in-between times are just that, a state of transition between what was and what will be. It is not some Divinely ordained punishment, the result of a past misstep, or an erroneous twist of fate. This is not oppression; this is opportunity! You are breaking away from what was. The stillness is creating space for what will be. Even though you feel your foundation is crumbling, it is actually the stirring of a fertile new path.

Chaos Vs. Cataclysmic Change
Change is hard; it takes hard work, persistence, and patience. Change can happen so slowly that you question if any progress is even being made. Change means saying no when you could say, “whatever, why not.” Change can also be cataclysmic, requiring tenacity and grit. It can happen so quickly that you question how it happened at all, and it can mean saying yes when you could say, “why should I?” Throughout change, we learn, we fail, learn some more, grow, release, cling, accept, and surrender.
 
On the other hand,
cha·os /ˈkāˌäs/
noun

1. complete disorder and confusion.
2. behavior so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions.
3.  formless matter to have existed before the creation of the universe.​

In chaos, there is nothingness; no sense to be made, only confusion. There is no way to hewn healing, growth, or opportunity from chaos. It has no rhyme or reason and is so discordant with universal order that it is the mythological term for what existed before the dawn of creation.
 
Now ask yourself, are the in-between times made of chaos or cataclysmic change?

Trusting the Process
But how can you really be sure that what you are going through is progressive and not chaos to deleterious effect? You can’t. You can never be sure unless you put one foot in front of the other, gathering understanding and wisdom and leaving behind unserving energies and emotional baggage as you go. You’ll never know unless you are willing to trust the process. Still…chances are, if you are ready to take the trust and fall into the embrace of the universe, you will be caught in a net of purpose and possibility on the way down while a new existence is being rebuilt around and within you.

The Importance of Surrender
Once you can surrender to the process and let go of what was, you can witness the miraculous take place in your life! You will find alignment with your new personhood, reality, and existence, taking each step as it is made known to you. There will be no need to rush; putting one foot in front of the other along this path of rebirth and discovery will be a pleasure in itself as you revel in the purpose and potential that is revealed to you. 

And really, that is all it takes to arrive at your destination; whatever you and the Divine have co-created it to be – you’ll get there. Whether you realize it at the time or not, every delay, rush, loss, gain, pain, triumph, misunderstanding, or lesson you experience during the in-between times prepares you for the ultimate destination, enlightenment!

In love and truth,
​Lori Lines